NOM's new ad

[Jack_Batty]

Sounds like backstage at the Republican National Convention.

[Katriona]

@Sampiro

I believe it was actually established at one time that Bricker is, in fact, the nom de net of TV and stage’s Adrian Zmed.

Is it wrong that I remember him (Zmed, not Bricker) for Grease 2?

Yeah, it’s wrong, isn’t it?

[Sampiro]

@Katriona

Is it wrong that I remember him (Zmed, not Bricker) for Grease 2?

Yeah, it’s wrong, isn’t it?

Not wrong, just apocryphal. I actually remember him from Goodtime Girls (sitcom set in WW2 NYC). The official Zmed canon goes

Old Testament: Grease (the original) on Broadway and Children of Eden off Broadway

New Testament: T.J. Hooker and Dance Fever.

**Bachelor Party **is a source of debate among Zmedians; some say count it, others say it never happened.

[Equipoise]

Aw, poor ting might lose her Miss California crown over the pictures, and of course she blames it all on her detractors and their “intimidation tactics” :rolleyes:, never mind that she lied by telling pageant officials that she had never posed nude or partially nude for any photos.

She found a slick as snot way to keep the photos out of the public eye though, by claiming that she was only 17 when they were taken, which I guess would make them child porn? Does that mean that the photographer could be arrested? And stuck with a sex offender label? What if she was 18, and is only saying she was 17 to get the pics off the net?

[Kimstu]

Okay, please excuse me for changing the subject back to Miss CA’s “born-again boobs”, but I was following the links about that and ran up against an excerpt from this interview with a pageant organizer that absolutely stumped me:

RODRIGUEZ: First of all, can you settle this once and for all? Did you pay for or help pay for Miss California’s breast implants?

LEWIS: We assisted when Carrie came to us and voiced the interest in having the procedure done, yes.

RODRIGUEZ: Why?

LEWIS: Well, you know, first off, it’s not something that we endorse, nor is it something that we suggest. But when we meet with the titleholder when she’s crowned Miss California, we put to her a litany of questions about how she feels about herself, what she feels she needs to work on, what she may need to change, what is good, what is not good. We want to put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage.

[…]

RODRIGUEZ: But don’t the judges look at proportion when they’re judging the swimsuits? Wouldn’t she have a better chance of winning if she were more proportioned?

LEWIS: Well, of course she does. But there’s plenty of ways of getting to more proportion without doing breast implants.

RODRIGUEZ: Well, but if…

LEWIS: Many of the girls use chicken cutlets.

RODRIGUEZ: … if you have a flat chest, what are you supposed to do?

LEWIS: You use chicken cutlets. You use tape. You use anything that you can to enhance the line. There’s lots of tricks of the trade.

It’s just a matter of whether or not you want to go to that next level.

:eek:

Would somebody kindly explain to me how on earth a beauty pageant contestant would use chicken cutlets to “get to more proportion”? What the hell is that about?

[Jack_Batty]

@Sampiro

**Bachelor Party **is a source of debate among Zmedians; some say count it, others say it never happened.

“I wish I had someone I could really respect. Hey, look at the cans on that bimbo!”

It counts.

[Gyrate]

Chicken cutlets

Not actual chicken cutlets, which would start to smell a bit funny after a while.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Kimstu

Would somebody kindly explain to me how on earth a beauty pageant contestant would use chicken cutlets to “get to more proportion”? What the hell is that about?

Stick them in a bra, presumably. Then you can grill them after the pageant.

[Boyo_Jim]

OMG, I’ve been whacking off to CHICKEN CUTLETS!!! Bestiality is looking more reasonable every day.

[tdn]

RODRIGUEZ: … if you have a flat chest, what are you supposed to do?

Send them to me. I’ll comfort the poor dears.

Duh!

[Kimstu]

@Gyrate

Chicken cutlets

Not actual chicken cutlets, which would start to smell a bit funny after a while.

Oh. All they are is falsies. Silicone falsies. Well yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Gyrate!

Your link also contains a fascinating description of an alternative proportion-enhancing technology called the “water bra”:

Water bras are known to explode. During this time the water will be released. This can often lead to embarrassment, if it happens when you are out in public.

I should think so.

[Sampiro]

@Kimstu

Oh. All they are is falsies. Silicone falsies. Well yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Gyrate!

I wasn’t familiar with the term and was having an “ewww” moment also.

So NOM now has 1 commercial so damned campy and over the top it has dozens of parodies which are better than it is, and a second commercial in which they try to make St. Ursula the Virgin Martyr out of a woman who asked her fairy pageantmothers not for charm lessons or education but for born again tee-tays and then posed nekkid.

Third’s a charm- can’t wait to see what they pull next.

[bup]

Maybe an LDS-funded Broadway musical about teh gay is wrong.

[Sampiro]

@bup

Maybe an LDS-funded Broadway musical about teh gay is wrong.

With puppets. And AIDS. It’s RENT meets AVENUE Q meets REEFER MADNESS. (“If you think smoking reefer was wrong, wait until you hear what they want your sons to smoke now…”.)

[Steve_MB]

@Equipoise

I have to admit, those boobs are fascinating, I can understand wanting to study them instead of hearing the bimbo speak. They’re so far apart you could stick a third boob in between, and they’re way balloony. Who thought that looked even close to natural? The pageant officials must have cheaped out and only paid for a Boobs’r’us job.

Indeed. I haven’t seen such a bad boob job since I gave up on Star Trek: Enterprise.

[Sampiro]

She now claims

The photo in question was taken when I was a minor, several months before the 2005 pageant. The photo was not meant for disclosure to the general public.

(See her naked… handwriting.)

I’m with the TMZ editors; she doesn’t look in those photos like she did when she was 17. Can liar be added to stupid and trashy? For to think that a nude digital photo of oneself will never see the light of day except by its recipient when subject of said photo hopes to gain fame and fortune based on appearance would require something 12 exits beyond stupid.

[Auntbeast]

I’m sure I’m not the only human to be thankful there are dumb bitches out there. They make the smart ones look better.

I just had to note that in the link for chicken cutlets above, the chicken they show is the type of chicken I now have. Light Brahma’s. For the record, that hen probably weighs about 10 lbs, so I’m thinkin’ one of her cutlets would give more than “one or two cup sizes.” (Additional Note: My rooster is bigger than my goat, I’ve moved to the country and started a freak farm.)

[Kyla]

@Steve_MB

Indeed. I haven’t seen such a bad boob job since I gave up on Star Trek: Enterprise.

In the above link, it said that the procedure was done “weeks” before the competition. That doesn’t sound like much. I could be wrong, but I seem to recall hearing that breast implants take awhile to “settle”. Maybe they’re just not there yet?

I don’t know.

I can’t get myself worked up over a stupid pageant queen, although I’ll admit to a moment of schadenfreude when I read that she might get her crown taken away.

[Larry_Borgia]

nom nom nom nom nom…

[Sampiro]

@Kyla

I can’t get myself worked up over a stupid pageant queen, although I’ll admit to a moment of schadenfreude when I read that she might get her crown taken away.

No way. Trump wouldn’t send a terminate-her to Tara Conner’s even though she was Miss USA and did waaaay worse shit, he’s certainly going to stand by this (as he jacks off to the publicity it generates).