There’s a double standard that exists in America and I’m just curious if it exists in other countries as well. I’m not putting this question in GD because I don’t want a debate about it, and I’m not putting this in the pit, because I’m not complaining about it. I’m just curious if it exists outside of the US.
It’s a sexual double standard in favor of women.
If a woman has a vibrator or some other sex toy, or erotic novels, or anything like that, it’s OK.
If a man reads Playboy or goes to a strip club, or something else to turn him on, he’s thought of as a pig or pervert, or something like that.
Obviously it doesn’t exist everywhere or happen all the time, but it does exist here. So, does it exist anywhere else? Thanks.
I think the thing to consider is what involvement there is with a third party (a live, breathing one). Dildos and stuff is just a way for a woman to get off, much like a bloke choking the chicken on his own. No problem for most people, I’d have thought, unless you have a partner and do it on front of them when you’re plainly thinking about someone else (especially an actual person). Novels, Playboy - same difference, as far as I’m concerned.
Strip clubs. Different thing. You’re getting turned on by another bird, who may or may not be dancing in your lap. Women don’t typically get lap dances from men (as far as my impoverished knowledge goes - that’s why I’m into Nip/Tuck these days), or go to strip joints where men get their togs off. Mainly, I guess, because it’s not in the same league, eroticism-wise.
But a woman better take over here. I’m scarce qualified to speak on their behalf about matters so visceral.
Britain: Nope. We have women friendly sex shops that sell them fanny hammers that look like rabbits and “erotica” (ie crap porn.) we also have shops that sell real porn.
It’s pretty OK for a bird to like these things.
it’s also taken as read that blokes like porn - every newsagent sells it (mainly fairly soft - ie “girlie mags”)
However any bloke that goes to a lap dancing club is a wanker in every possible sense of the word.
I used to work in the city and still have many business contacts there, and yes it’s pretty common (mainly among the younger types) to go and look at ladies bits.
I just think it’s a pretty shitty evening out (and hellishly expensive).
Mine either. But then, maybe living in an area with two adult toys stores that cater to women, three adult stores that cater to men, and one strip club, all within about 1/2 mile of each other (and my apartment) has warped my view on what is and is not acceptable.
The real double standard is the one that exists between sex toys for women (vibrator=sensual, confident, aware go-getter in charge of her own sexuality) and men (blow-up doll=hairy-palmed sociopathic moron who gets turned down by whores).
Whether or not it exists here in America, or anywhere else, is in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure there are plenty of people who think women who use vibrators are sick, sad creatures and men who go to strip clubs and use porn are just doing what comes naturally to them.
There’s also the phenomenon of people who feel just a little bit guilty about their own personal habits and project their shame and disappointment in themselves onto society.
A woman with a vibrator might declare that “Society hates women who use vibrators! They think we’re all sluts and nymphos!” because some part of her deep down is not completely comfortable with the fact that she uses a toy to get off.
A man who uses porn and goes to strip clubs says “Society thinks I’m a pervert for doing these things!” because a little voice inside himself is telling him “You’re a pervert for doing these things!” He also thinks society sees women who use vibrators as “confident” and “comfortable with their sexuality” because that’s the way he sees them. He likes these confident, free-spirited women and wants to date them. He doesn’t even realize that many members of our society see those same women as nymphos and perverts.
A highly arguable hypothesis. Needs some data points methinks.
Also I think the point about women at least is not wholly in my own head but also in media aimed at smart women, Cosmo and so on. But I could be wrong.
I figured that maybe the double standard is two fold.
First, in the 70’s when the feminist movement was gaining momentum*, it denounced things like playboy as being degrading to women, and the men who liked it as objectifying and somewhat oppressing women.
Then, later on in, I don’t know, the 80’s or 90’s the message starting getting out that women are too sexually repressed.
So, on the one hand, sexual entertainment for men, objectifying women. Sexual entertainment for women, freeing themselves from oppression.
Anyway, I’m somewhat of a goody two shoes and have never had to worry about it, because I’ve never gone to a strip club or bought any nude magazines.
Although I’m not saying I haven’t seen anything “adult” or pornographic.
I’ve also known a female acquaintance who kept some playboys after breaking up with her boyfriend, and I was a friends with a couple where the girlfriend was renting some porn videos (I watched a couple with them) because she said she was trying to see if she could find a porno with a plot to it (:dubious: uh huh).
So yes, further proof that there are women who have no problem with adult entertainment geared at men. But like I said, I know this doesn’t exist everywhere. And I’m sure that the more liberal the place you live, the less likely you’ll be to encounter it.
*I’m not making any comments on the feminist movement itself, as that would be more appropriate for GD. I’m just trying to give the facts as I see them and explain why I think this double standard exists. And yes, I’m well aware of the fact that there are plenty of women today who are feminists and have no problem with adult entertainment and may also pose or dance nude themselves.
