My wife and I can’t have children so when Mothers’ Day rolls around with all of its attending advertisements, product displays, etc., it can be an uncomfortable time for my wife. What do you suggest to handle it? In the past I have just tried to ignore it and made a point of not going out since most places will be packed with people celebrating the American mother.
I’m sorry for your situation, but all you can do is ignore it.
What about taking an overnight camping trip that weekend, or something else that was just for the two of you and away from all the adverts and people? That could be a special thing without being a hurtful reminder.
You can’t ‘handle it’ except by ignoring it! I LOATHE holidays, Thanksgiving and to a lesser extent, Christmas, but there they are, all around me, and I’m supposed to be capering with joy, cooking a big fucking turkey for my non-existent picturesque family, baking cookies with my non-existent adorable nieces and nephews…sorry, don’t mean to make it all about me. But there it is, one gets through a trying time as best one can, one day at a time…If it is SO uncomfortable for your wife that you’re trying to think of ways to ‘handle’ Mothers Day, maybe she should get some kind of counselling.
Well, I’m generally always trying to think of ways to make things more comfortable for her, just to be nice. This is just a specific example. I just like to smooth out the bumps.
This sounds like good advice. My wife and I are childless by choice, and I realize that’s not the same and wanting kids but not being able to have them. Nevertheless, we don’t feel like we’re being left out or anything. We send cards and/or gifts to our own mothers, and aside from that, it’s just another Sunday.
Surprise her and make a romantic dinner for her, and buy her flowers, and tell her she’s great and do something silly like make a homemade card with macaroni or something. To have you acknowledge her left-out feeling with a thoughtful gesture will probably mean a lot to her.
Adopt?
I just want to say you sound like a lovely partner, and I hope your marriage continues well. 
Do you have any pets?
I’ve been given “Mother’s Day” cards “from the dog,” which tickled me.
Why does it make her uncomfortable? You been trying to make babies to no avail, or something?
I think that’s what he meant when he said, in the first line in the OP, “My wife and I can’t have children.” (Shall I insert the slaphead smiley for you? )
My husband and I are childless by choice, so I haven’t really ever considered this before, but I think you can make the day anything YOU want it to be. I think in the future I might try to make it more of a celebration of our marriage.
May 9th is Billy Joel’s birthday. I suggest you put on the best of Billy Joel and eat some cake in honor of his birth. Whenever I feel down I celebrate a celebrity’s birthday and it always makes me feel much better.
Treat it as Valentine’s Day, Spring edition.
I called my wife Mom before I ever knocked her up.
Some ideas for a childless Mother’s Day celebration - go to your local senior’s home and bring small gifts for all the ladies there.
- pbbth’s suggestion is excellent, and a good excuse to eat cake.
- Go out of town for a nice weekend away.
- Invite another childless couple over for a barbecue and get completely shitfaced.
Oh good gravy, there are not enough :smack:s in the universe. Why did my mind delete the first words? My apologies.
I have totally been there. I vote for either a weekend away–like at the beach, where you can hike/hang out in nature or something–or getting your favorite takeout and watching a movie you both love or something like that.
Mother’s Day sucks and there’s not much you can do about that but ignore it and do something comforting and away from other people.
I agree with the weekend away. Go to a B&B in a scenic portion of your area and remind yourselves how much you’ve got in each other. Reconnect as a pair with lots of good food and champagne and maybe some spa treatments if that’s your thing.
Also, I love the idea of gifts from the pets. My cats are like permanent toddlers.
As two Gay guys, we obviously don’t care about Mother’s Day, nor do we worry about Father’s Day either.
We do, however, contact his aunt who lost her one and only child in infancy and send her a Mother’s Day card (which she deeply appreciates) and of course send a card to my SO’s mother. (As we did for my mother before she passed away.)
I think the better approach would be to “adopt” a lonely woman who might have lost her child (children), has no other family, and take her out to dinner, or send her a card. Celebrate those who are mothers and don’t obsess about not being one.
You don’t have to have been in the military to honor veterans on Memorial Day or Veteran’s Day. You don’t have to be a devout Christian (or Christian at all) to enjoy Christmas festivities. And to be honest, I still think Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are sort of silly, pathetic celebrations. I mean, seriously - if that is the only day you contact your parents and take them out to dinner, well - you probably need to celebrate Family Counseling Day more.
Anyone else remember that Sex and the City episode where infertile Charlotte’s husband buys her a cardboard cutout baby? He thought he was being cute and thoughtful.
DO NOT BUY YOUR WIFE A CARDBOARD CUTOUT BABY.
I like the idea of going away but I know I personally couldn’t afford it. I would recommend just having a really nice her-favorite dinner home. Cook for her, maybe rent a romantic movie. Draw your initials inside a heart on her mirror with lipstick. Remind her that she is not at all bereft for lack of kids- she has a loving husband who will move heaven and earth to make her happy