Say you have a non-political/apathetic spouse or significant other. They just don’t care about politics at all, never feel the need to vote, don’t want to stay informed on the issues, etc.
Let’s also suppose that politics is very important to you. You follow news in government very closely, are passionate about certain candidates and issues, etc.
You talk to your spouse and try to encourage them to vote and participate in the system, because you believe so strongly in it. Your SO just doesn’t seem to get it or care.
After a bit of discussion your SO finally says to you one day, perhaps out of exhaustion or just to shut you up, “You know, I don’t really care about the issues but I know you really do. And if it means that much to you I’ll vote. Because I don’t care about things and don’t want to educate myself, I’ll just vote more or less how you want me to vote, if that’s what would make you happy.”
So, my question to you is, what would your response be. Would you say, “Great honey that sounds awesome. Here’s how I’m planning to vote and would love it if you do the same!” Or would you be more likely to say, “No baby I don’t want to force you to vote for things or candidates that you have no idea about. Even if you trust me and my opinions, which I really think is great of you to do, I’d rather you just didn’t vote at all if you didn’t know who and what you were really supporting.”
Or any other response you can think of. What would you do?
I’d tell 'em how to vote. I’d summarize why, as briefly as possible. I’d show 'em how to vote for the major issues, and let them slide on the little stuff.
Among my extended local circle of friends is someone who does care, very much more than I do, about these things. He has remarkable influence; he “votes by proxy” for maybe twenty people. We all know his stance, and we all trust him.
Meanwhile, my sister cares even less than I do, and always asks me, “Who do I vote for?” I’m on both sides of the divide! I say, advise, and be advised. (But…make sure it’s someone you trust!)
I’d probably tell them how to vote. Presumably, the spouse has opinions on stuff, just not political ones. So, they may be in favor of legal weed, or anti-abortion or whatever, and through talking about other stuff, you would now they feel and how strongly they feel about one thing or the other. So you’d just take your cues from conversations that did not involve politics, and advise them to vote which way and why.
I’d tell them how to vote and explain my reasoning behind it if they told me this. Actually something similar occurred to me last year-a college student at my church asked me who to vote for President and I told her to vote for Obama (along with the reasons why).
My wife and I vote by going through our ballots, the official election information and with both of our laptops out (it’s all mail-in here in WA). We do a little research, each person reading or summarizing relevant information. When we both feel like we have enough information for a decision, we say what that is, maybe exchange some further questions and the write down our vote. Probably 90% of the time, we agree, but we don’t approach it as if there’s any need to agree.
With a non-political spouse, maybe I could interest them in the research, but at the very least, I’d be saying what my opinion was and sharing my own research. If they truly would not vote for themselves, then I would go ahead and mark the ballot the way I vote on my own.
We do not talk about. We both like to vote but I think we cancel each other out some but on others I think we agree. Don’t know for sure because we are smart nuff to not try to influence each other.
I wouldn’t be harassing them in the first place to vote and get educated. Not voting is a right, too. But then I try not to be a nag about anything, and rest assured, harassing them about voting until they agree to do what you want just to shut you up is nagging.
I’d sooner try to convince them to use the same shampoo and conditioner as me so we can reduce the number of bottles of hair and body wash product in the shower.
In other words, I’d leave my spouse the hell alone with respect to caring about politics/voting.
Oddly this was my gut reaction to the OP, then I realized my missus is one who really doesn’t care. She’s got her own pet things to focus on and there is plenty else I like about her. If you take a step back from it and allow everyone to set their own priorities, interest in politics (for all the effect a single person can really have) is no more or less important than interest in knitting or having a nice lawn.
I’d tell them what I tell my brother and his wife (only when they’re stupid enough to mention their lack-of-votedness): “vote blank, but vote. A blank vote says ‘I do give a shit but I didn’t like any of you shits,’ not voting says, depending on who you ask, ‘I don’t give a shit please keep giving it to me up the ass’ or ‘I am on the side of those parties which have asked people not to vote.’” After all, if they’re married to me they’re going to be waiting for me to vote, may as well get in line too
Note that the local party which is most likely to ask people to abstain is ETA’s political branch; if there is one group I do not want to be able to count me among “their people”, it’s those.
I have never told anybody who to vote for and don’t ever expect to. If they ask me who I vote for I may answer or I may point out that votes are supposed to be secret, depending on who asks and my mood, but I don’t even always vote for the party whose card’s in my wallet.
I don’t know, this all just strikes me as wrong. So in the scenario, you are bugging the crap out of your SO and finally the capitulate and say they don’t care, tell them how to vote and they will vote that way. You turn around and say that you don’t want to force them to vote for candidates they have no idea about that you’d rather they just not vote at all. If you’d rather they just not vote at all about candidates they don’t know about then why have you blathered on to them to the point of their exasperation?
I’d be thoroughly annoyed at that sort of behavior.
If my spouse doesn’t have an interest in voting and I do, I’m not going to try to wear them down so that they vote only to turn around and say ‘oh that’s okay, I’d prefer you not to vote if you don’t know who or what you are voting for’.
For me, I couldn’t take that comment any other way other than a “just shut up, please” so my response would be more of a realization that I was being a shrill harpy and then I would change the subject, hopefully to something we both had a general interest in.
So, either way, your SO can’t win. Not only do you want her to vote the way you do, but you want her to be enthusiastic about it. So, she can’t even just fucking vote YOUR WAY to shut you the fuck up.
You’ve pointed out that your SO is not interested in politics.** “NOT INTERESTED”**. What part of that can’t you understand? It sounds to me like you’re not talking to her about politics, you’re talking AT her. That can’t be good for a relationship. Especially after she’s told you how she feels about it.
I’m sorry, but I do need to fight to the hypothetical. I just looked at a game on my sweetie’s phone and solved some riddles with him. It was really uninteresting, but hey, it takes a few minutes and it’s important to him.
I just can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who would be so uninterested in politics that they would still not vote if I said: “So, let’s go vote!”
