Non Sequiturs

“Non sequitur” is Latin for “It does not follow.” It was used as a way to refute arguments like “My arm is tubelike. My arm is soft. Therefore, birds are green.” In common usage, it denotes a response that is so out of place it makes you do a double-take. Like the following:

I’m riding along with a friend of mine. I live in a truck-rich area, and I make inane observations:

Me: There sure are a lot of trucks in this region.
My friend: Yeah, but they’re mostly crackheads.

If I had been driving, we would have hit one of those crackhead trucks. My friend, when he could get me to stop laughing, said he thought I was talking about drugs. Which is a story in itself.

Does anyone else have any non sequiturs to share?

is ‘truck’ a slang term for druggies now or something??

Opal: No, it was a hearing problem. He heard ‘drug’ when I said ‘truck’. He once heard ‘tubalistic’ instead of ‘tube of lipstick’. Otherwise, his hearing appears normal. He must be good at tuning out.

But I would like to score some truck, if you’re selling.


Remember those god-awful grate-on-ya K-Mart adds with Rosie O’Donnell and Penny “Leverne Defasio” Marshall?

One of my friends, when he saw it–and I can’t imagine it was for the first time since it was after they had been running *ad *nauseum-- exclaimed in indignant disbelief:

"HEY!! They’re not SISTERS?!?!"


I often act as an interpreter for my parents since they’re deaf, but at family gatherings it’s tricky because everyone but them is hearing, does not sign but believes they can communicate perfectly with them and thus are not in need of my interpreting skills. Of course, I want people to try to talk directly to my parents, so I leave them well alone. It’s lead to conversations like the following:

Dad: But the war in the middle east will never be resolved.
Aunt: Yes, you do like skiing don’t you?

Granddad: How is work going?
Dad: Yes.

Nan: Jessica’s baby is due in August.
Mum: I have an audition tomorrow.

Sometimes I interrupt and explain, but usually I just let them talk at cross-purposes. Most of the time they can carry on a whole conversation like that none the wiser, and that makes it more entertaining for me.

Francesca: That sounds like my dad. He lost the hearing in one ear because, back in his army days, some idiot fired a gun right next to his head.

Typical conversation:
Mom (from another room): Steve, did you take out the garbage?
Dad: I’ll close the garage door when I go outside again :slight_smile:

Once, early in my marriage, my husband woke me up from a deep sleep.

“do you want to get up now?” - him
“but my arms are TOO SHORT!!” - me

I belong to the American Non-Sequitur Society.

We may not make sense, but we do like pizza.

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.