Everything I wear is tight and sexy. I can’t believe you had to ask.
As for your problem, I’m getting an ennui vibe off you. Not really, I just like that word. I think what you need to do is spike your Yoo-hoo. With a stick. Make a hole in it and then see if you can drink it before it all drains out of the hole. Hours of fun.
You need to get in preparation. You should have pigs ears and lumps of magma, swimming in spider gravy and earwig chutney. That’s what we all eat here. I live in a castle with a thatched roof. I’d offer you a room, but really it’s a very little castle. The ceiling is only 5ft high. It was built by the dwarf kings.
No. I can see you hiding behind the door. For a fairy, you really need to work at going poof. Your wings are nice though.
I am an impulse-buyer by nature. Right now I really want a
Creative Labs Soundblaster Live! Platinum card, with LiveDrive. To satisfy my impulse, I could buy it at Best Buy for $200 but, I could pay just $170 if I ordered it online. But then I’d have to wait! I guess what I’m trying to ask is, is instant gratification worth $30?
Do they loom at you? Have they come at you with knives? If they have, then they are being threatening. If not, you are perceiving that which is not there. It’s a common mistake and one which is easily remedied by peering very close at the cucumbers. See? No knives.
[sub]I’ve been a posting far too much today. I now have beer and it’s a personal policy not to combine beer with posting. More answers tomorrow. Line 'em up, I’ll knock 'em down. No, we’re not bowling. It was a metaphore. Go to bed.[/sub]
A work-related problem presents itself. I need to choose which of two managers I will work for. Should I go with the smart, compassionate and stunningly beautiful redhead who laughs at my jokes but probably won’t sleep with me? Or should I choose the handsome, sarcastic and witty smartass whose compliments are always genuine, if backhanded?
I was watching South Park the other night and they had this really cool game that they played on the show called “Red Rocket.” Well, at that exact moment, my dog happened to be walking by. As a 12 year old poodle, I knew my dog was a prime candidate for this game. Too old to bite me, not so old the dog can’t remember the good old days of red rocketing every half hour.
So I flipped 'em over and started “beating it off” as per the game’s rules. All the while I was yelling “Red Rocket, Red Rocket!” It was too bad my parents didn’t have a book club or anything and I had to do it alone in the house.
Anyway, out came the spurt and it was so cool, I had to call up all my friends and gloat. But as soon as I finished dialing, I hung up phone. For I just remembered that my dog is female.
So I’m wondering. What kind of infection creates a growth like that, and what exactly is on my face right now?
Two women and an infant in swaddling clothes have come before me to settle their dispute. Each woman claims the child is hers, & that the other stole it & claimed the kid for her own.
The kid is---- [list=A]
[li]Too young to talk[/li] and
[li]Is busy watching Seinfeld, so I don’t wanna bug him.[/li][/list]
Neither one consents to a DNA test, something about OJ, I dunno…
I’m afraid you fail to talk into account the fact that while I worship and adore every single American (Yes! All of you! Even the ones with the lanky hair!), I am not now nor ever have been American. Shocking isn’t it? Thus, I have no experience of Chryslers and their relative rightness or wrongness. Work with me here.
Cars in general though, I can comment on. Don’t get one. Walk everywhere. This has nothing to do with making your legs shorter.
You should drink more milk. That way, your nails will grow strong and you can fashion them into pointy triangles. Then, when they are pointy enough you can display them and make money. Perhaps you could paint teeny tiny faces on them and then wiggle them while you do comedy voices. Be sure to make the voices high-pitched. Everyone knows that Nail People have high-pitched voices.
Listen to Psycat. Always listen to Psycat, because she lets you touch her.
Smart, compassionate and stunningly beautiful are all well and good, but can she dance? If she can dance, you could while away time in the office waltzing and jitterbugging. Sure, she won’t sleep with you, but what could be better than jitterbugging? Jitterbugging is better than sex because it has more syllables and there are surprisingly few bodily fluids involved. Maybe a little mucus every now and again, but really that’s it.
Handsome, sarcastic and witty smartasses are the way to go though. There’s nothing finer than a handsome woman and if she can kick your ass, all the better. And backhanded compliments are the best kind - especially if they’ve got a good topslice on them. I have no idea if topslice is a real tennis term. It sounds like it though doesn’t it? Kind of a combination of cake and tennis.
My party is wandering around the city of Baldur’s Gate. We were in the upstairs room of a magic shop when we decided to piss of a couple of mages so we could kill them and take their stuff. I was wondering if you could tell me about the legal and moral ramifications, considering we have a reputation for being heroes and all. Also, should we wander around the countryside looking for adventure, or infiltrate the Hall of the Seven Suns and report back to the Flaming Fist? Or vice versa? What is the deal with the whole Flaming Fist thing anyway?
It’s not a growth, it’s a mustache. You’ve caught Stereotypitis and you must now go out and buy PVC pants and a leather waistcoat. It’s a common result of playing Red Rocket. They don’t tell you that on the packet do they? Be careful though - it mutates. Expect to grow pigtails and commence involuntary yodelling in three days. You could take a pill, but I’m guessing you find the idea of pigtails exciting. Go with it.
Buy gloves.
I aim to please. You, however, aim for the keyboard. This is worrying. Do you poo on your chair? If you do, I would investigate the possibility that someone has glued you down. There are gangs that do this. Don’t call the police though, they can’t help. They don’t have a license to carry glue-dissolver. They asked for one, but they were turned down on the grounds that they would only get overtired and show off to all their friends.
As for the vomit on the keyboard, leave it. It looks pretty.
In a heartbeat. We could have a themed wedding. There could be lemon cake. What would you wear? I think I would wear a monkey suit. They make me feel at home. You could wear a long flowing beautiful dress. We’d the perfect couple. I would carry you off into the sunset. Sure the sun’s hot, but my monkey suit would be flame-retardent and I would protect you.
I have had a series of disastrous financial reverses of late, and I find myself needing to throw a large dinner party that may result in some new business contacts. I desperately need to know how I can masterfully disguise cheap hot dogs as a variety of wondrous and unusual dishes.
Oh. And by the way, I want to be an artist. What kind of artist should I be?
I have a “thing” for girls with accents, especially those of the British Isles. My current girlfriend is from Wyoming and has no accent whatsoever. Franny, whatever shall I do?
My grandson bought a time machine and yesterday arrived at my door to kill me, which he did. But, having been killed, I was never able to sire his father and hence, my grandson was never born. Having never been born he was unable to travel back in time to kill me.
My question for you is: should Ruffian and I have children?
Fran,
I’m finding guys so confusing. Could you explain them to me in a few short sentences? Also could you explain why they act the way they do?
Thankx much
