Norm from cheers would be amused at this

Cafe Society
1

Remember there was a running joke where norm and cliff would go to this restaurant and eat a cross-between imitation almost real food?

and the bef would be explained as somewhat real meat but not quite? well today I found

Marie Callender’s Gardein Be’f Pot Pie 15 oz its described as thus:

Details

Gardein\u00AE Plant-Based Be’f with Vegetables Prepared in a Golden Flaky Crust with GravyMade with Gardein\u00AE meat-free plant-based proteinsThere’s something different (and delicious) inside this pot pie and it comes from plants. We switched things up with tender pieces of Gardein\u00AE meat-free plant-based be’f instead of regular beef. You won’t believe the taste and texture. Whether you’re going meatless or just eating less meat it’s a simple and satisfying swap so you can get more plant-based protein from the comfort foods you crave.

Ingredients

Filling: Water, Gardein Beefless Bites (water, Vital Wheat Gluten, Soy Protein Isolate, Onions, Canola Oil, Yeast Extract, Contains 2% Or Less Of: Methylcellulose, Malt Extract [malted Barley, Water], Distilled Vinegar, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Ancient Grain Flour [khorasan Wheat, Amaranth, Millet, Quinoa], Sugar, Natural Flavors, Potato Starch, Salt, Spices, Pea Protein), Potatoes (potatoes, Calcium Chloride), Carrots, Modified Corn Starch, Contains 2% Or Less Of: Celery, Yeast Extract, Onions, Tomato Paste, Sugar, Onion Powder, Spices, Salt, Potassium Chloride, Natural Flavors, Methylcellulose, Caramel Color. Crust: Enriched Wheat Flour (wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Interesterified Soybean Oil, Water, Salt, Modified Whey, Caramel Color.

Warnings

Contains: milk, soy, wheat.

2

Norm Peterson:
[about his and Cliff’s meal at The Hungry Heifer] Yeah, Cliffy had himself the tunnel T-bone. For less than four bucks, you get 24 ounces of USDA choice US bef.

Cliff Clavin:
Bef? You mean beef.

Norm Peterson:
Beef? Don’t be ridiculous Cliffy, that stuff is bef. You see, it’s a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic, what… , meat-like substance.

Cliff Clavin:
Ohh, Norm.

Norm Peterson:
What do expect for four bucks? Do you hear me complain about the loobster?

3

My god, it’s real. I mean, it exists.

“Gardein Beefless Bites”

In Kentucky, we call those “chiggers”.

And what the hell is “interesterified soybean oil”? The opposite of apathesterified soybean oil?

I can imagine Audrey II being offered one of those Be’f things and saying (in stentorian tones), Get that shit out of here.

No whey, not even a modified whey.

4

well there’s always chik’in if you dont eat the be’f