I’ve noticed we’re a little light in the joke department today.
Michael Jackson appeared in court this morning with a new lawyer. This one is only 15 years old.
“Why,” asks the judge, “have you chosen someone so young?”
To which Jacko replied (in his unique high-pitched yet soft voice,)“Well Your Honor, he’s gotten me off before.”
We may have been separated at birth. Or are destined for each other. I had tuna sammiches usually, although grilled cheese was also a favorite. By the time I was eight my family had figured out that it wasn’t really worthit to argue with me when I said I didn’t like something. I think I was about 27 or 28 the time I actually ate a sammch at the table, with a glass of wine, at a dinner in honor of my sister’s birthday–she wanted lamb, and I don’t eat lamb. Since then, my tastes have become a bit more sophisticated. I rarely need a whole special meal, but sometimes a side dish is added or subtracted based on making sure there is stuff I’ll eat.
Also, Sean, bad joke. Very bad joke.
I can’t wait to tell it to everybody!
Mr. Lissar got his hair cut off last summer, 
but I still have lots. He’s experiencing all the joys of short hair, especially bad haircuts, having to use gel, and hat-head. Long hair is so much easier.
You should have heard her screaming at Dad. “Where are you going?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! GET BACK HERE!” I think you may actually be able to hear her if you hold your ear up close to the monitor.
I just went wandering around in the most expensive shopping area in Toronto. I feel broke and shabby now. I went to Whole Foods and bought two cans of tomatoes, some cheddar, a can of pop, and a loaf of bread. Cost, $17. I think I might get all the stuff bronzed or something. I hope they’re damn good tomatoes. Muir Glen fire-roasted. If they don’t fly or do little dances I’m never going to buy them again.
Oh, yeah, I got catnip, too. I feel like a heroin dealer or something. I got in, and Aerin followed me around meowing pitifully and saying, “oh, catnip! Catnip! Give me catnip!”. They’re drugged out on the floor.
Shibb, is there anything special I should do with my totally organic frigging expensive tomatoes?
First, if they’re expensive like that, they should be called to-mah-tos. Second, (the bold is mine above), I think that could be a really good brand name. 
Mrs. B was called for jury duty on Monday, didn’t get picked for a jury, and the judge told them all that they could go home and didn’t have to come back next Monday as originally scheduled because that trial had been rescheduled. She just had a call from the court to say that it was all a mistake and she has to go back next week after all. She is not happy!
In other news, two of our cats are fat, two are skinny, and one is middlin’. Cleocatra is our Kliban cat, with the genuine Kliban tiny head and huge body look. Nixie is skinny at both ends but noticeably rotund in the middle. (Both are rescued feral cats, and are quite determined eaters when food is available.) Peach is too neurotic to be anything but skinny, while Chipie runs around a lot and plays hard for that lean and muscular look. Tabitha is just lazy.
Right. To-mah-toes. Thank you, Taters.
Bookkeeper, please go to the Elgin Street Diner, get me a takeout order of three cheese poutine, and shove it through your disk drive. I haven’t had it in more than a year, and I’m getting cranky. In return I will… uh… send you a bunch of halvah or something?
It occurs to me that I’m starving. Maybe I should eat the smoked cheddar, with some roasted peppers, and the loaf of bread. Dinner or afternoon tea or something.
Thank you all for your support. I know it’s not the end of the world, it’s just that I set impossibly high standards for myself and then beat myself up when I can’t reach them.
Also, it would help if I didn’t post so often at the end of the day when I am tired and have low blood sugar. 
Well, it’s just about the end of the work day (for us Left Coast folks) and I know most of you don’t really read the MMP over the weekend.
I will be computerless and MMPless next week due to my trip.
So, to cover next week’s possible subjects:
Food/dinner: Don’t know what the family will be eating…I won’t be cooking for them. I do know I’m going out for mexican w/scout on Wednesday and I’m looking forward to that.
Weather: The forecast for here actually looks warmer than it will be in San Diego. Ah, the weatherman is always wrong here, so I’m hoping they’re wrong for down south.
Oogy stuff: Hmmm, I really don’t have anything to add to this area.
Chocolate: I want some.
Kids: They’re teenagers; nothing else need be said.
Hardware stores: Need to get a new water filter for my fridge. Probably won’t get to it this weekend.
Yardwork: Need to do some, but, alas, will be gone.
I’m sure I’ve missed many tangents here, but I’m quickly typing this before I go. See you all on the MMP on 21 March.
Taters
Elgin Street Diner poutine, eh? Well, between me, Mrs B, and Miss B (who has dropped in on the way home from work), I don’t think any of your order will survive long enough to get to my disk drive. (Which is telling me it’s going to fail sometime soon, anyway. I got a new 120GB WD drive today and I’m going to copy my files over and replace the failing one tomorrow. Then I’ll take it to the dealer 'cause it’s only 4 months old and shouldn’t be going belly up already.)