Not a Sausage

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Why thank you Kythereia. My feat of ironing actually prompted ACBG to say:

“Well, day-umn! Just how many shirts do you own?”

He’s discovered my deepest, darkest addiction. I like buying shirts. I confess. I have three plastic storage boxes (big ones!) full of summer shirts that I have never worn, just waiting for it to get warm enough for me to wear em. Don’t worry, they are all safely stored so they won’t get damage. They’re in the attic. I showed em to ACBG yesterday. I think he’s a little weirded out over it. :smiley:

22

Are you two the right size to wear each other’s clothes? I think that’s a definite plus of the “gay lifestyle”, but it does have a limiting effect of potential mates, “Hmm, he’s so nice, and I love his taste in clothes, I wonder if he’s my size?”

23

I’ve never played WoW in my life–that is odd! Wonder if they’re a Doper… :confused:

passes swampbear a silk shirt

24

You know, this is one thing I don’t get. I just don’t have enough discipline to buy clothes and not wear them immediately. I don’t have one item of clothing that has not been worn at least once. I just luurrvvee wearing new clothes.

FTR and FWIW, swampy, if you stay all proper and non-juvenile, vunderbob will not get all “oogied out” and he’ll think you are ignoring him or don’t like him anymore. So I says give in to your inclinations and snerk away. So there. :stuck_out_tongue:

25

Actually, it’s a well known fact that mice make plans. I recently watched a thrilling documentary concerning two mice and their plans called “Pinky and the Brain.” Unfortunately for our two heroes, their plans always seem to gang aft agley.

Pointless side note: Every time I typed the word plan (ack! I did it again) in this post, I accidently typed “pland.” So, if anyone needs any Ds, I seem to have a surplus.

26

So, would an electonic sausage be self-cooking?

Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

27

I think so, Yllaria; but how do we get the emu into the pyjamas?

28

On Saturday, we had jambalaya (with andouille sausage), but it was frozen PC brand, as I didn’t have time to cook.

Sunday I shovelled the walk and driveway, made cheese tortellini in roasted tomato sauce (not a sausage to be seen), and then went out to shovel again, since the plow had come by and filled in the end of the driveway while I was making supper. But I didn’t have to shovel, because some mysterious benefactor had shovelled for me! A retired gentleman down the street frequently does drive-by snowblowing of the plow windrows at driveway ends en route to do my neighbour’s drive (they are good friends and neighbour has heart problems while retired gentleman has an oversized snowblower and the true “Let’s fire up this baby and see what it can do!” guy attitude), but this was clearly hand shovelled! No sign of anyone outside, either. I’ll have to ask around and see if I can find someone to thank.

I have a meeting to go to soon, wherein I will explain to the reps from one of our program divisions for the third or fourth time, that, while it’s really tough that one of our clients has lost a bit of money in converting the grant money he received from Canadian to US dollars and back again and it would be really nice to reimbourse him for the loss, since we are a government department it would be illegal for them to do this using the monies allocated by Parliament for other purposes. They are free to make any charitable payments they want out of their own pockets, however.

29

Sure, they do, but being mice they often change them at the last moment and just go catch a movie or order in.

30

If mice make plans, then this plan really wnet kerplewie.

I had a sausage cheese egg biscuit at WaWa Saturday morning. It had a lot of sausage on it. But since it was a pattie, I don’t think it would compare favorably to scout’s Big Sausage Man Friend.

31

[Wayne’s World]

Oogie on, Wayne.
Oogie on, Garth.

[/Wayne’s World]

I’ll add a couple of <snerk>s for good measure.

32

If you leave out the mice, doesn’t “The best laid plans of men” mean something like Swampy making a date with ACBG?

:wink:

33

Shibb we do indeed wear the same size shirts. Matter of fact, several ummm… spend the night at each other’s house parties have resulted in one or the other of us going to work the next day resplendent in one or the other’s clothing, right down to underwear and socks. What? it’s clean underwear after all.

Puggy said stored shirts were bought at the end of summer last year and are awaiting their turn as a part of this year’s summer wardrobe. After all we can’t be seen in the same thing we wore last year now can we?

Ok, I go home for lunch today (matter of fact I’m posting this from home before I leave to go to a meeting) and I have a package from none other than our own Rue! The package contains a cd, along with a little note that says: “I hear this song, I think of you. It’s inexplicable.” So, I slip said cd in my trusty cd player and it’s Jimmy Buffet’s “God’s Own Drunk.” I won’t go into the whole tale but it involves several gallons of moonshine and a drunk bear that steals the still. I just don’t know what to think. On the one hand, I got a cool song in the mail. On the other hand, I remind Rue of a still stealing bear. I just don’t know what to think.

If I said to ACBG: “I love every hair on your 32 acre body” would he be flattered or offended? :smiley:

-swampbear (And he is kind of a grizzly type bear)

34

I wonder what he’d think, Sean, knowing that he may be referred to online as BSMF. I may just have to adopt that acronym for him, a la ACBG.

35

I don’t really like sausage. Oh, I eat one or two at Christmas breakfast, and of course I have one when I’m at an Oktoberfest, but I don’t go out of my way to get sausage.

Get your minds out of the gutter this instance, ya hear!

I hate vacuuming so much that I use my little hand vacuum instead of my regular vacuum, even though technically it’s more difficult (well, not difficult, awkward is a better term). It means I have to bend over and crouch to vacuum, but somehow this is better than bringing out the regular vacuum. Yes, my regular vacuum is stored in a convenient spot and is light as can be, but it’s not cordless. So to avoid bending over once to plug in the vacuum, I use a cordless and bend over a lot.

Again–out of the gutter, right now! I mean it! Don’t make me come over there!
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. Biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. You need to use “big people words”, she’d always remind them.

She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend.

“I went to visit my Nana”.

“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER, Use big people words!” She then asked Joey what he had done.

“I took a ride on a choo-choo.” he said.

“No, you took a ride on a TRAIN, Use big people words!” She then asked Eddie what he had done?

“I read a book” he replied.

“That’s wonderful” the teacher said, “what book did you read?”

Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said,

“Winnie The SHIT!”

36

Slow week actually. My OP choices for this week were:
A) Going to the Home and Garden Show with the Little Woman. The city of Cincinnati needs to be cleansed by fire. But you’re real close to Kentucky, so you can pick up cheaper likker. The end.

or

  1. I went on a hike with Soupo Sunday because it was so nice out. We saw three 550+ year old trees. One is dead and the other two aren’t doing so well themselves. I also found a 1935 wheat penny on the trail. The end.

I think I made the right choice.

Did you an’ ACBG get matching haircuts? That would be so KEEEEE-yoot!

Would “Electronic Sausages” be a good band name? I didn’t think so either.

Wow, the mail went all quick like. Not agley at all. I think you should try that out on ACBG. I mean, what could it hurt? Especially if you are currently clothe-swapped.

An aglet is that little plastic jobbie (or metal, if you’re all fancy) that goes on the end of your shoelace. An agley aglet would be a bad thing.

37

**If I said to ACBG: “I love every hair on your 32 acre body” would he be flattered or offended? :smiley: **

Hmm… I really guess it would depend on whether you were referring to the entire body, or well, oh nevermind.

Primarily mice skeeve me out, so I’ve never considered their scheming habits, but I loved the old Pinky and the Brain cartoons (NARF!!!). I imagine the common mouse would scheme for some good sausage, or bangers if you must. Being in Porkopolis, fine sausages are always readily accessible. There is a great little shop in the dowtown market that makes a wondrous duck and red wine sausage, about 4 blocks away from a Scottish restaurant that serves Bangers and Mash, along with a great selection of single malts.

On the home front, I took the Strikermobile into the shop to get a lube job, tune up, and get the heater core replaced. Mechanicgoes to replace said heater core, and lo and behold, it is not the cause to the antifreeze leak, instead it is a gushing water pump. 120$ job goes to 260$ job, and that’s with the family discount from my mechanic. I did read a fun book over the weekend, which makes it somewhat tolerable, Practicle Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore, good dark humor.

38

Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘hide the sausage’.

Actually, in my youth, my plans to hide the sausage often ganged agley.

I’ll stop now.

Had a very eventful weekend. We got our credit card machine up and running Friday, just in time for our grand opening, which went very well. We made as much money in 3 1/2 hours Friday night as we made all week. If I told you how little that was, however, you wouldn’t be impressed. Saturday was good too. But Sunday we discovered that the company we got the credit card machine from had charged the cost of the machine to our business checking account instead of our credit card, like we’d had told them to, and everything we had purchased the end of last week was bouncing all over the place, at 20something a bounce. Wife was spitting nails. I keep wanting to shoot somebody. There's not a sausage we can do to the %^#%#%s either.

Yesterday afternoon we went to a friends place to watch a bonfire and roast hotdogs and s’mores and drink wine. As it happened, some folks didn’t show up, so it was just me and three women. You know how some women get real honest when they’re drunk? It was an interesting evening.

Today will be the first day since New Years that I haven’t set foot in the shop at least once. I’m gonna do some house cleaning though, so it isn’t all good.

Wife just called to tell me that the bank has reversed all the overdraft charges. It sure is nice to have friends that work in a bank. (Yes, they were our friends before this.)

Well, I’ve gotta post this before the warranty runs out on my joke.

There was too a joke up there. You just have to find it.

39

<checking shoelaces>
Well, three out of four ain’t too bad.
I wonder if you can get replacement aglets? They gotta be cheaper than complete shoelaces.

And scout feel free to use that. That’s why I capitalized it in the first place.

40

If I hurry, I’ll be post number 38! Not bad, not bad at all.

You see, I was busy at the spa having my first ever facial. Divine!

Talk about big words that mean something in the world of facials:

 detoxifier = cleanser
 clairifying lotion = cleanser
 calming solution = cleanser
 extractions = PAIN
 pre moisturizer prep = $35 a bottle
 moisturizing essence = I can buy it from Neutrogena for much less

So, guess where Mr. Beckwall is today? JURY DUTY. Not the go to work, call us and we’ll tell you if we need you jury duty - he’s in a real courthouse, doing his civic duty. I told him to take a really disturbing book and display it prominently in order to get excused - but that’s not really his style. May the Gods of the jurists smile on him.

That wasn’t a very quick post. I bet I slipped down into the 40s. Damn!