Steer Wars: intrigue and murder among cattle barons in the far reaches of Alberta.
Clash of the Tritons - The HMS Triton and the USS Triton face off to see which one will fight the Kraken for the hand of Andromeda
Drought - Roland Emmerich’s first terrifying disaster movie. Special effects budget: $0
The Phantom Misfits: Glenn Danzig battles his former bandmates to bring balance to the Force.
Not to be confused with
The Misfit Phantom: Glenn Danzig takes up his familial obligation to be a Masked Avenger in Africa.
Abbott & Costello Meet Ben Stein - A charity fund raiser at a wax museum puts security guards Bud & Lou in contact with some of the scariest creatures imaginable.
Also stars Dick Cheney & Nancy Pelosi.
Little House of Horrors - The inhabitants of a small prairie town grow suspicious of a creepy farmer & his brood-of-the-damned. “Pa” Ingalls is always plowing, yet no crops are ever harvested, & neighbors keep disappearing. And what’s that sickly sweet smell?
Abbott and Costello meet Wittgenstein – Bud and Lou try to prove to the philosopher that Seven goes into 21 thirteen times. Wittgernstein passes over it in silence.
**Star Whores ** “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.”
The Scorpion Kingdom of Heaven – The crusading knights get some seriously badass help from The Rock.
Pirate Radio: The Curse of the Black Pearl – An outlaw DJs discovery of a gold dubloon leads to a lot of dead air.
K-SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON ~ Snoop Dogg and his crew shipwreck their yacht en route to Jamaica, battle pirates, and finally start building a new life on the formerly deserted island. Plenty of gin & juice had been salvaged from the yacht, and it lasts them until they cleverly begin distilling their own concoctions. The flora and fauna of the island paradise include seemingly endless fields of… you guessed it! Peace out.
I will be stealing this. A lot.
Saturday the 14th - Police investigators look over the grisly scene of the previous day’s mass murders.
Drag Me to “Hello!” - A nubile young woman is involuntarily taken to the corporate offices of a British weekly magazine specialising in celebrity news and gossip.
The Birdseye - Frozen foods conspire to destroy humanity in this cheap Hitchcock knockoff.
The Evil Deadwood - A hardscrabble American mining town fights a demon invasion with guns, pickaxes and impressive profanity.
House of Sandman and Fog - The Lord of Dreams gets caught in a real-estate dispute.
Sadly, you’re wrong about this. They made it in 1981:
There’s even a sequel:
And, in case you thought you could work it the other way, there’s a Thursday the Twelfth:
G. I. Slow:
An elite team of covert operatives are trained to become K-Mart cashiers.
or
G. I. Slow:
First movie filmed entirely in ultra-slow motion.
G. I. Tract:
In-depth exploration of your intestines.
The Sixth Sense. A young boy with Ménière’s disease spends 110 minutes staggering around.
Closet Encounters of the Third Kind: The aliens are here and they’re absoulutely fabulous.
An adventurous romp through the mysterious world of culinary tools.
What About Babaloo? Driven mad by his wife’s constant zany attempts to get into his act, a Cuban bandleader makes his psychiatrist’s life a living hell.
The Matrix of Oz Recycled: Neo wakes up to realize it was all a dream.
**The Notebook Computer: **A twisting retelling of a tale of unrequited love comes to an abrupt end as the Windows-based device gets a BSOD at the payoff scene.
**Doctor Bionic Babylonstar Gate Trek Galactica Wars: 1999 vs. Aliens vs. Predators vs. the Decepticons ** – and then thousands of fanboys cried out in excitement.
Pushing Tin Cans: After causing a near collision to occur, Nick Falco is fired and winds up sweeping up littter by the side of the road as his former coworker bags his wife.