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A la Sam Kinnison?
As for me…
Rodents of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.
That cartoon creeped me out when I was little.
Last Temptation of Christ?
Shit.
“The angels are waiting for me? Well, God damn them, let’em wait!”
IRL a paraphrase of the last words of Ethan Allen, the Revolutionary War hero, not the furniture magnate
“Gotcha ya!”
“Woo hoo! I am dying like a mother fuck!”
All this time, I’ve been peeing in the sink.
Would I have friends, or admirers? If so, and I wanted to screw with their minds, I might say “My father, my father, why hast thou betrayed me?”
If not, my final words would most likely be, “Initiate destruct sequence alpha.”
when I was younger I wanted to be…
you’ll never take me alive coppers!!!
now that I am older and much more mature, I think it will probably be…
check this out… ya wanna see something cool?
Life in Hell?
I bet Yogi Berra has that one reserved 
As for me:
Whatever you believe, the stars are my destination.
I drank what?!
Well, knowing the reputation that the funeral home in my hometown has, I would probably say something like
“Goodbye, so long, and please don’t let the mortician have his way with me.”
Hoping that my last seconds on earth, I’d be surrounded by friends, I’d screw with em!
Something to the effect of: “All this time I’ve been leading a secret life.”
Yes, but I don’t know if it was Akbar or Jeff.
How about
Destruct zero, zero, zero destruct zero
Beware of Doug
Not only is that a quote from Churchill, it is also the last line of the cinematic classic “Millennium”
Forty-two.
I’m what?
“No . . . I am your father! Come with me and we can rule the galaxy together!”
Tripler
It’s either that or “I’m Lando Calrissian . . . and you should try my Colt .45” [sub]Thanks to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?"[/sub]