The thing is, that my parents are really cool about certain things which is why this is so weird. We live so close to Mexico and they know that its easy to get piss drunk over there and yet they still let me go over there and drink. I cant remember how many times my parents have either opened the door to an incredibly stumpling, drunken mess, or seen me taking Tylenol the day after I’ve gone across. So I dont know why this would bother them.
Eternal, what is your damage?
I have an idea you may or may not like. Unless your membership in this community is one you want to keep to yourself (kinda like a diary that talks back 
), maybe you can print this thread out and show it to them. Only if you need help talking to them about your punishment, of course.
There have been some very rational posts from experienced parents here, as well as some posts from those of us who behaved much worse when they were your age. (I won’t even go there. 
) Maybe they’ll see that you’re a good kid (great kid from what I’ve seen so far) who made a mistake and won’t be too hard on you.
flood, as the mom of a 15-year-old (and an 11 and 3-year-old), I have to say, I think your folks are overreacting. Yeah, you broke the rules, yeah, you should probably have some consequences. But they are just getting carried away. Probably, if my oldest did something like this, I’d ground her for the weekend, or give her extra chores for a week, and make it clear that if the situation repeats, the consequences will be worse next time.
FWIW, my mom was the reigning queen of irrationality. I came through it okay (although I do get weekly counselin). Good luck!
Like a guy in my old fraternity used to say: “If I’m to be accused of something, I at least want the satisfaction of actually doing it!”
Obviously, they take sex more seriously than they take drinking. Sounds like the SOuthwest to me! 
Well then , the next time she is over, make sure when they walk in that door you are both shit faced drunk and they won’t be so upset.
Your parents need to chill out. It’s not like you were braiding the fringe on their blankets.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=162858
Did everyone miss this? You can go out of town with your girlfriend, but you can’t have her in the house when they are away? That has got to be the most confusing set of rules I’ve ever heard of. No wonder you screwed up. How could you possibly avoid it?
Jesus H. Fucking Christ!
IANAParent, but this seems like a pretty fucking draconian rule to inflict on a 17 year old. I think poor old flood’s parent troubles started before the latest incident, if this is any indication.
I can understand a “no party” rule, even perhaps a “no girls in your bedroom” rule, but not even allowing your senior high school son to have a friend or two over from school while you’re out playing golf or having your eyebrows plucked seems a bit OTT to me.
I also think it’s ridiculous that you cannot have company over when they aren’t around. I could understand if you were thirteen years old or something. But at 17, you’re a big kid. Not a grown up, not an adult, but you’re responsible.
Welll… 'specially since flood seems like a good kid. My 14-yr old can have friends over when I’m out. It’s no big deal to us.
I’ve spent a lot of time, patience and love teaching my kids how to deal with life. To raise an adult, sooner or later you have to start treating him like one (or maybe adult-in-training). The closer they get to adulthood, the more freedom my kids have (as long as they stay responsible).
Really ~ how will they do at college if they don’t know a thing? I’ve seen the answer to that, and it ain’t pretty.
OTOH I don’t see flood’s parents being too rigid about it after they cool off. He’s got to take after one of 'em, anyway !
Well I guess I shouldve clarified then. My girlfriend was in fact in my room when they came in but I was about to walk her out. I KNOW how it must’ve looked to them, but still, I think I deserve a little more credibility. Granted, I’m not perfect (no one is) but to get upset about having my girlfriend in my room when they came in and saw that we were both fully clothed and about four feet away from each other with me sitting on the floor and her sitting on the bed seems a little rash. I have a very good relationship with my parents and have been a very good son. This is the first time I ever disobey on purpose and (wouldnt you know it) I got caught. I’ve learned my lesson and told this to my parents, but sometimes they can be really obtuse and stubborn.
The plans weren’t quite official yet, but I’m sure that my parents would’ve given me the ok. I guess now its a matter of a trust violation; I knowingly went against what they told me. Its not like I could deny that fact (my parents have always told me that no one is allowed when no one’s around) and so now I think they fear that I feel like I can do whatever I want. I dont understand this at all, but I’m not going to get upset over it. I know that what I did was wrong, and I knew that I was going to get busted. Oh well, if nothing else, this will always serve as a good learning experience.
Still, no matter what happened on the particular day in question, the fact that your parents had the rule about you having freinds over when they weren’t home is pretty unreasonable, IMHO.
Um, not to be unsympathetic here but I am not 100% sure about how unreasonable the parents are being here. Not to dace around the issue at hand, but it sounds to me as if your parents think that you are too young to be having sex.
Now don’t get me wrong, I was having sex when I was 17. A lot of it. It is conceivable that times have changed significantly since I was that age, but if I had a girl in my room at that age, it would not be for a stimulating conversation.
Now obviously, I don’t know you. Chances are that the whole thing is totally innocent, and your girlfriend was just popping in to borrow a Bible or something. That said, I wonder if I might trouble you to answer the following questions.
[ul]
[li]Did your parents arrive before you were expecting them?[/li][li]Was the 4 feet away the arrangement the whole time that you were in your room, or simply how your parents encountered the tableau?[/li][/ul]
And hell, some of this may just be that I am projecting my own lecherous motives, so keep that in mind.
Here’s the thing. His parents should trust him enough to make his own choices or, at least, abide by theirs without imposing such stringent rules, IMHO.
My parents may say, for example: “No drinking” (they don’t say that, obviously but go with me here. If they say that, they should trust me not to drink when they leave the house, or when I go out etc.
Huh. Seems to me that if you’re going to be punished over the assumption that you’re having sex when actually you aren’t, you might as well just go ahead and have the sex.
I’m only partly kidding. My point is that it’s this kind of heavy-handed parenting that tends to backfire.
Generally, I get that. On the other hand, I would be very interested to know the answers to the questions that I had for the OP. Honestly, if I had a kid that was doing the sort of stuff that I was doing at 17 I would freak. Really it is a wonder that I did not wind up a teenage dad with HIV and a junkie that ultimately got killed in a car crash.
Give up. You will never understand. Parental Love is just simply irrational. I must admit, you’re one better then me, you don’t get upset.
Personally I think your parents are overreacting and seriously need to think things over. They don’t seem to trust you.
Oh, and don’t cancel your plans, but don’t go without your parent’s permission. If you did they’ll probably never even consider thinking they were in the wrong in this situation.