My Georgia Grandmother would say: “That boy ain’t got the good sense God gave a cucumber.”
And from my New Hampshire family: “He steers straight for the lighthouse.” Which means naive as well as stupid.
Still believes in Santa Claus.
Can’t spell Mississippi.
Mama still buys him velcro sneakers.
I like “the sharpest bulb in the box”; that is, the one that’s broken.
He’s gone out to lunch and stayed for happy hour.
Very standard and mundane phrase, yet not appearing in this thread so far (not even in that Usenet canonical list):
“… has rocks where his brains belong.”
I had a landlord once of whom this was utterly the case. And he did ALL his own maintenance on the property. :eek:
Frequently from my Kentucky born mother:
Doesnt have enough sense to come in out of the rain
Crazier than a June bug
If you went to a mind reader he’d charge you half price.
He’s got a dead cylinder or two.
Elementary school drop out.
Self appointed recipient of the Dunning Kruger award for brilliance.
Don’t know shit from Shinola.
Couldn’t find his asshole with a funnel.
I once worked for a guy who used this one frequently - too frequently. He’d use it for otherwise perfectly intelligent people who had made a single silly error, for example. So most folks around him just kind of ignored that description. Realizing this, he described a particularly egregious case (one that was completely deserved) as “dumb as a box of rocks… a box of really stupid rocks.”
She’s number than a pounded thumb.
He’s got the IQ of a houseplant.
And, from a former boss who could (and would) butcher any saying or spelling but thought she was always the smartest person in the room:
A few bricks shy of a picnic.
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