Not to hijack a hijack

The BBQ Pit
21

Are you talking about this thread? It had everything to do with this topic (which has very little to do with you, despite you being at the center of the controversy, which was really about general board policy). If you mean the other thread, I’ve already apologized in this thread for flying off the handle there, so I’m not sure what you want from me. I explained that I did so because the topic made me too emotional. If you can’t imagine why that might be the case, I’m sorry, but I don’t particularly want to get into the reasons here in public with strangers.

As for your sniping about “last comment” – all I meant, which I think was pretty clear, was that two days ago had been my last, as in the last one I made, comment on the issue. You immediately decided I meant you were supposed to somehow know that I wouldn’t bring it up again, but that is not what I meant. I meant that I hadn’t brought it up again since then, and frankly, having declared here my intention to dial it back, and then having completely followed through and dropped the subject entirely until you came in here, screaming at me on one hand to give you answers and on the other to stop talking about it, I was a little fucking irritated at your accusation.

That said, on reflection, you do have a right to an answer about why I didn’t contact you directly. For one, my protests about the thread were not personal. They had nothing to do with you personally, aside from the same concern I would have for anyone who had made your statements. And you’d already said you didn’t want to get help, so what could I say to you? I’m completely powerless to help you in any way, because you disagree with me that you need help.

You seem to want to fight with me now. I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t see the point; your thread is there, you have what you wanted; and I already agreed earlier in this thread to stop dragging it into other threads.

Do you want me to apologize for thinking this forum is not appropriate for your thread? I will not do so, because I feel I had every right. Do you want me to apologize for calling your audience voyeuristic ghouls? That is certainly an insult, but not to you. Nevertheless, I’m sorry. I think buried under my emotional posting was a core of truth, but I was way too harsh.

Do you want me to apologize for being worried about you? I won’t do that either. You seem to think I wasn’t really, that I was just playing some stupid game with you as a token. All I can do is state that was definitely not the case. I can’t make you believe me.

Luna, I wish you only the best in life. I hope you’re right that you can contain your self-injuring tendencies by yourself. I also hope you understand that many self-injurers cannot do so, and that in a lot of cases their attempts to do so are disasterous. Once again, I encourage you to find some kind of counselor you’re comfortable with to help you with your ongoing struggle.

22

Yes, this thread. That’s why I posted in this thread. If it has little to do with me, and more to do with general board policy, then why mention me at all? Couldn’t you make a reference to the other thread without bringing my name into it? Can you imagine how I felt to be dragged into this thread so unexpectedly?

I never quoted anything from the other Pit thread; I never asked for an apology regarding that thread.

Had you stated something in initial response to my first post here other than making a crack about how long it took me to respond, I may not have responded so snarkily. I didn’t know what you meant, I knew what you said. And didn’t say - there was no response to anything else I’d posted.
So you dropped the subject. Fine…does that *not * give me a right to a response? Couldn’t you have simply said, “I chose to drop this subject in another thread two days ago” and gone from there?
Show me where I ‘screamed’ for answers? I asked questions, yes; I even swore…that’s what the Pit allows.

OK, so you have no personal beef with me. Then, again, why mention me?

This isn’t fighting; this is trying to understand where you’re coming from and defending my position.
It appears you consider harsh words to be an attack of some sort. Fine, I won’t swear.

Where did I ask for that apology?

I’d be a lot more inclined to believe you if I had proof of such worry.

I do understand that other people may not be able to rely fully on themselves to cope. The thread was about me, about my experiences. I never claimed to speak for all self-injurers. Whether ‘some kind of counselor’ is what I need is something I can decide for myself.

23

I’m confused. This thread here was started by Otto about me hijacking the other thread with an argument about the ruling on your thread. Despite my little joke, my talking about that issue here was precisely and exactly on topic of this thread.

Luna, what the hell do you want from me? I don’t even think you’re reading my posts. You’re insisting that you have a right to something I already conceded you had a right to and gave you. You’re accusing me of dragging you personally into things, when the only personal thing I’ve said is that I think it’s dangerous for a cutter who still struggles with urges to be entirely self-treated. You say you just want to understand my position, but you’re just attacking everything I say and implying that I’m a liar on top of that.

Tell me exactly what it is you want from me and I’ll do my best to provide it. Here is a list of what you’ve already gotten, most of which happened without you having to ask for it:

–An agreement that I should stop mentioning this issue in other threads, and indeed a confirmation that if I’m not directly engaged about it, I don’t want to post about it anymore at all
–An apology for letting myself get too emotional in my posts on this topic, and as much of an answer to why I might do so as can be expected when the reason is highly personal
–An explanation for why I didn’t contact you directly
–An apology for painting your audience with a broad and insulting brush

So what do you want?

24

Absolutely nothing. I’m finished with the ‘accusations’ and ‘attacks.’

25

Can anybody explain to me what the hell just happened here? :confused:

26

Seems to me that many of your responses on the subject could easily be misconstrued from your intent of “please seek professional help, not message-board discussion, because there are voyeurs who get off on sick people out here on these internets and suchlike” into something more like “you’re a sick freak who needs therapy and drugs, and in addition you pander to the sick freaks who like watching sick freaks, making you an attention whore as well.”

In other words, your phrasing, attitude, and vehementness combined, like Constructicons into Devastator, into a message that was percieved by (seemingly) most people here as entirely hostile. Sucks to be you?

27

Did you read any of my posts in this thread?

28

Yes. I also both interpreted them correctly (well, as you appear to have intended them) AND saw how you could have got some people bent way out of shape on the issue based on your recent posting history, enough to ignore present attempts at conciliatory posting.

29

Okay, I see what you mean. But in my own defense…

There is only one thing I’ve said that I think anyone has any reason to get bent out of shape over, and that’s the comment I’ve apologized for, which came very late in the whole brief affair. And which was not directed at Luna anyway. I never said or implied that she was an attention whore, or anything other than a person with a condition she wishes to treat by herself. Not once. Saying that her audience might be getting a kick at her expense doesn’t imply anything about her motivations. If I gave that impression, Luna, I apologize for that too.

As for the “sick freak” stuff – not only did I not imply that, I’ve made it clear that my reaction stems from experiences that make it pretty damn unlikely that I’d dismiss a self-injurer as a sick freak who should go hide under a rock.

Anyway, thanks for trying to explain. I doubt I can convince Luna that I never meant to attack her, or even thought badly of her, but maybe this will help.