NOTES TO SELF:
If I have recently touched Vaporub, tabasco sauce, garlic, or onions, do not handle contact lenses without vigorous washing in between. (Just did this last night with the Vaporub. We all have colds in my house… after applying some to my son, then going about my business for an hour or so, and then taking my contacts out for bed, I got a very unpleasant cold sting feeling in my eye. It isn’t the first time I have done so, and likely won’t be the last…)
Do not store Cutco knives in the utensil drawer, where they inevitably end up obscured from view, waiting to bite you when you dig around for the spatula that always ends up at the bottom. Same goes for inserting said knife in the soapy dish water, where it also hides in the shadows, waiting to strike.
Do not cut lemons or apply hand sanitizer if I have paper cuts or other broken skin on my hands. Sadly, I do this over and over again with the hand sanitizer. I use it a lot because we have a lot of pets, so using it is something I do without even thinking about it, but forgetting I have an injury where that isn’t such a good idea, unless you like unnecessary pain.
Check that the cap is securely fastened before shaking a bottle of liquid, like a water bottle that has had powdered flavoring added. I will spare you the story of what I did with this one the other day… but it isn’t what you think. I guess I should just wear gloves and goggles for everything I do.
I thought we could all use a few reminders, as smart people tend to be more forgetful of day to day details. Feel free to add your own.
Note to self: Anything edible that is not stored at least six feet above the ground will be found and eaten by Alfie. “Edible” means “not made of glass or solid metal.”
Since you’re still not used to cooking on an electric range: Just because the knob is in the OFF position does not mean that the heating element is not hot.
Don’t leave your keys on the table. You have a purse for a reason, to hold all of your stuff. Keep the stuff IN the purse, or else you will walk out and lock the door and have to call the landlord to open it.
Note to self: You finally found a cocktail of allergy drugs that let you function like a normal person. Fantastic. Don’t screw around with your dosages or stop taking any of them, you idiot, because they’re not curing your allergies, they’re just hiding the symptoms. Doofus.
Just because you turn the temperature knob to the exact right temp, that doesn’t help the oven heat up. You also have to turn that other %&*% knob to “Bake”.
Note to Self: It’s April, not August. Yes, it’s warm enough to ride your motorcycle… but it’s not so warm that you don’t need beefy gloves and a nice jacket.
