I know a dad who did in fact gripe about having to “babysit” his own children when Mom had to work late. He’s single now. And when it’s his turn to take the kids, he dumps them with his parents. Or in front of the TV. They’re lucky if he remembers to feed them, and it usually comes from a drive-thru.
Some dads suck. Yay for dads who know what it’s all about!
friendlessboob, are you Dave Barry?
Oh yeah, OP - very interesting point. I’ve talked with guys (nice, normal guys, usually in their thirties) who think that equality of the sexes is HERE, and women have nothing left to complain about. It’s hard to explain the insidious, little ways that women are given to understand that they are the second sex. You have made a very nice comparison.
The 9th layer of irony of course is that while I don’t get the respect I “deserve”, I get wild kudos from people for doing what would be seen as just adequate for the average mother.
(side note to Emeria, I wasn’t trying to be rude or dismissive, just more referencing the fact that 21 year olds are supposed to be getting drunk, not posting thoughtful observations)
coffecat - Glad to help represent, spread the word. You got listed as “other”? Brutal! I know the whole “we get the shaft so its ok if you do too” thing gets old fast. It just goes to show you that the issue is not that men crap on women, its that humans with any advantage crap on humans who do not have that advantage. Uh…you may want to watch the “worse than what women go through” talk when we are talking about a situation that, by necessity, starts with child birth. Also, never read anything with the word “Nurturing” in the title, whatever it is, it’s full of lies.
Corrvin - Wow, that sucks AND makes an already potentially emotionally complex situation more so. That is a good example of why I hate people. Looks like you are handling it with pragmatism and very little rancor, nicely done.
Wvmom - Female hardware store employee, ouch, that has got to suck. Its like you have to experience what its like being a woman in a hardware store (dismissed, ignored, etc.), AND you are at work. On that subject, I still catch my self pulling that same shit on women, I know I am just being lazy about stereotyping, not that it makes it ok.
bluethree - not totally sure if you are male or female, but that is one thing that I will be telling my daughters…“No, he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t even like you, as a matter of fact he doesn’t even know he doesn’t like you”. If you enjoy my wit, please tell my wife, she enjoys poking me with sharp sticks. The only wit that she references is one that I am apparently am a half of.
carb - Can I marry your sugar momma wife? Good point about ho differently your situation would be perceived if the roles were reversed.
C3 - I think that people are not so much jealous as resentful in your case. If a guy (well, a white guy anyway) gets an apparently easy gig, its because he is clever, anyone else gets an easy gig, especially female, its cuz they are lazy and/or bad mothers. Cuz women are supposed to be working dammit! Not laying around eating bon bons, drinking Jim Beam, and watching hard core gay porn. At least that is what I do when I stay home.
Anaamika - A lot of people have a lot of ignorant opinions, myself included. Think about the number of times you have say, responded in your head to something you heard on the news and then realize you have no idea what the actual facts are, or what it would be like to be in the situation being reported on. But the raising children is easy, especially for women, idea……it’s like believing in the tooth fairy, that’s just stupid.
DrLoveGun - That is the stuff that was the initial point of irritation. Is Mommy taking a break? Is Mommy taking a motherfucking break!? No one at our house has slept in 72 hours, I have no fucking clue what Mommy is doing, probably drinking drano so she can get some sleep! How about you take a break asshole, from breathing! Also, good creepy name, especially for a dad. “Hey Brian, this is my mom Liz, and this is my brother Tanner, and this is my dad…uh… DrLoveGun, yeah… so he is going to want you to sit on his lap…don’t ask….you will want a paper towel or a tarp or something.”
Scarlett67 - Weird, I found out that a co-workers brother in law was the passive aggressive version of this, and he too is now single, but he got left with the kids. The thing is, everyone is making a big deal abut what a terrible woman the mom is for leaving, but my co-worker pointed out that if he had lifted a fucking finger at some point she would probably still be there.
featherlou - Are you trying to get money from me? Because you can have it. Yeah, there are two kinds of people in the world, people who understand that ignorance and bigotry are parts of human society, that they will always need to be fought against (I just won the most awkwardly worded phrase of all time award), and there are those people who think stuff like “well I personally don’t own slaves, why are these people complaining?!”. I mean, “Girls Gone Wild” should pretty much settle any question of gender equality having arrived. I am pretty sure that most guys never have the drunken thought “maybe if I act like a skank with no self esteem, someone will act like they like me”. Although the closely related “how can I get someone to act like a skank with no self esteem?” has probably crossed most guys minds
All the responses make it clear this situation needs some sort of self help book or self actualization guide, preferably with some sort of Oprah related product launch. What we need is a good title….it could be alliterativish " It Sucks to be a Dad Who Doesn’t Suck Because Men Suck"…insulting “If I am a Father, Why is Everyone Treating Me Like a Bitch?” ….righteously indignant “I Get Undeserved Credit for Everything Else, Why Can’t Fatherhood be Like That?” ….puzzled “I Stopped Cheating on My Wife for This?” ….Straightforward “Its Lame to be a Chick, Also Lame to be a Dad” …clinical/rambling “Menstruation, Bras, and Child Birth, Reasons Why it Still Sucks More Being a Woman, Even Though Being a Dad Can be Kind of Irritating”
Soooo do we have a market for this book? Also, more title suggestions….
friendlessboob:
Thanks for the shout-out. Who’s Jim Gaffigan?
By the way, given the overall response, neither half of your username seems appropriate.
Regarding book titles: “Stay Within The Narrowly Defined Gender Roles, You Stupid Git.”
Hmmmm… maybe a bit wordy…
Heeyago have some Jim
wikiquote - "I don’t like being bald, don’t get me wrong, there’s no boost to the ego much like the one you get from putting sunscreen on the top of your head…“Oh, yeah ladies, here I come!” “What’s that smell?” “That’s SPF 45 on my cabeza.” “That’s digusting…” “Oh, yeah.” "
anything ending in “Stupid Git” is a solid bet
A rather mundane, but easily quantifiable measure of the bias against fathers is the dearth of baby-changing stations in restrooms. They’re nearly standard in female restrooms, but in male restrooms, relatively rare, depending on the locale.
And there are extra eyes on you i f you are an adult male with kids without an accomapnying adult female.
Aw man, I thought I solved that problem when I added “I am female” to my location line. Darnit. I keep sending emails to the mods asking them to change my name, but I have never had a response. I wonder if it’s because I’m not a man. 
Sorry, didn’t even know to look in the location, I kind of thought you were female, but didn’t want to make a call as some people get upset about what you say you think they are if you are wrong. Why would you want to change your name? bluethree is a solid name.
Re your post now that I know what your gender is. The fact that no one tells teenage girls that most guys are basically like heroine junkies for sex is really stupid (and being told this by ones mom doesn’t count; how many teenage girls are listening to their mom?). That should be standard part of sex ed for both sexes.
“Girls, most guys really just want a piece, if that is what you want too, fine, but if you are thinking eternal love, you may want to hold off for while”
“Guys, you may think she is the coolest thing since sliced bread, but try to be honest with yourself about why you think that, and if you want to be really crazy, be honest with her too”