Now, it's illegal for a dog to fight a dog, and for a hog to fight a hog, but...

Here’s the whole, disgusting tale. I’ve placed it in the BBQ Pit because when’s the next time I’m going to see a story about actual porcine animals being killed in an actual pit, where I can clearly point to some asshole in the story and say “LOOK! SEE THAT ASSHOLE? HE’S A REAL SICK MOTHERFUCKER.

Hey, there’s a law against setting your dogs on some ignorant fuckwit. And there’s a law against throwing some ignorant fuckwit to your hogs. But I wonder if there isn’t a poetic way to make this subhuman pay for his crimes that’s completely legal?

Now we all know those laws we log
Forbid a dog to fight a dog
My distant buddy’s newie blog
Says they banned the hog-on-hog
But what if we pit a hog against a dog?
Or frog and frog,
Or frog and hog?
There are so many loopholes, sweet Og!
Permitting a frog to fight a hog
And hog on dog,
(the victor fights frog)
Which has a chance if in a bog
Though I would not pay one pog
To see a dog combat a hog.

How is it completely legal? It still falls under generic cruelty to animals statutes.

Because most laws are not born until someone thinks of and commits the crime. Just like there’s not law on the books against fighting a crow with a moose. Someone has to do it first.

I’ve thought briefly about becoming an animal control officer. That would never happen, though, because I’d be the one in jail for ripping the faces off the people who do this kind of shit to animals.

I understand pitting the fuckwits responsible for such reprehensible behavior. But, can we also please include fuckwit legislators that can’t write all-encompassing bills just once? It’s easy. No fucking fighting. No people fighting. No animal fighting. No people-animal fighting. Kindergarten stuff really. Sheesh! :rolleyes:

People don’t even have enough common sense not to try and stop a chainsaw blade with their hands, what makes you think loophole free laws can be created? Not that I don’t wish they could be. :frowning:

Before I cancelled my cable, I used to watch alot of Animal Planet. Animal Cops (or whatever the show was called) was always the hardest show for me to watch because I have a huge soft spot for animals. (larger than my soft spot for humans, actually, tho I’m no PETA lover. I eat meat and have zero problem with fur, even have a sweater with a raccoon fur collar. Warm and pretty.)

The few times I actually managed to make myself watch the show, I found myself marvelling at the ability of the Animal Cops to not brutally beat the living shit out of the assholes that abuse their animals, starve their animals, torture their animals, or do any of the other random, senselessly violent and cruel things people do to helpless animals under their care.

Then I’d sit and think about the fact I’d last about 10 minutes on that job, getting myself fired and most likely incarcerated investigating my first case that did, in fact, involve someone guilty of animal abuse, right after I beat the living shit out of said person.

[Boris]We should get Moose and Squirrel to fight. That would solve all of our problems[/Boris]

Except that there is an applicable law. Generic cruelty to animals laws are on the books in virtually every jurisdiction, including the relevant one in the OP’s story. Hell, his cite even says so:

So it is illegal, even if there isn’t a specific law against it, although the penalty might be on the low side compared to what a person might like to see in a case such as this.

Hog dog rodeos. Cool family fun. :smiley: I’d expect that the weirdo animal rights nutcases on Straightdope would get the panties in a wad about another great sport. :rolleyes: The sick pahtetic cancer of animal rights taking over the world has struck again. :mad:

Why not bitch about something really fucked up like real torture of animals by sick fucks or dumbass cityslickers “crate training” dogs? Instead of perfectly normal sporting uses of animals.

Rocky and Bullwinkle would never fight. I betca that’s illegal.

You’re not being serious… right? You’re… trying to whoosh me… right?



He just mixed up which smileys go where, I betcha. :mad: :cool: ;j :dubious: :smiley: :rolleyes: :stuck_out_tongue: :eek: :frowning: :confused:

Not whooshing at all. I find the sport to be totally legitimate use of the animals used in it. And believe that those against it are essentially idiots and those wanting to criminalize it are essentially evil.

Crate training might not be that bad. But I couldn’t treat a dog like that. And someone actually torturing an animal is pretty sick stuff. A Korean eating a dog, an Australian museling a sheep, an American using a Pitbull in a “pit” sport, a Filipino fighting two roosters, etc aren’t examples of torture however.

Whoa whoa WHOA there! Wait a minute. So, you’re saying that two animals forced to tear each other to bits ISN’T animal abuse?? :mad:

What force? It’s pretty natural for the two animals involved. :rolleyes:

It’s an accepted cultural practice. I understand that unfortunately folks will try to force their culture (or lack there of) on others. I liken in much the same way as the instilling of democracy at a point of a gun on folks who don’t want it (Iraq). It’s a a pretty low down thing to do. :mad:

In most juristictions, it’s an outlawed cultural practice.

Oh I see. It’s natural for the animals to be starved to the point of wanting to kill anything they see for food, or kicked around until they’re so pissed off they want to kill something. Perfectly natural, huh? Sure.


You know what? Fuck you, and fuck your animal abusing beliefs.

If I were ever to become an animal control officer, I would hunt you down, lock you in a room barely bigger than your body, starve you until I could see your ribs, kick you for a while to get you good and mad, then make you fight someone else for no good fucking reason other than seeing your blood shed. Would you like that? WOULD YOU FUCKING LIKE IT??? :mad:

I know. Legislated hate and discrimination sucks. :frowning:

Plainly simple minded people fall for evil propaganda all time. I see the Spongemom is no different in the case of animal rights propaganda. Your desire to severely harm fellow human beings who are culturally different than you is rather disturbing however. Especially the wish to make it state sanctioned violence by doing it under the guise of some type of state security officer.