So no one’s betting on two matching heart attacks in the first five minutes of the match?
.
(Maybe it all comes down to who has the highest-tech defibrillator…)
The cage match will only be available on pay per view at $100 a pop.
This is a joke tweet, but I give it about 12 hours before it becomes a legit right-wing talking point.
The most insane thing about it is that batshit crazy behavior is being normalized. It’s just another Tuesday. Look at Trump and his allies. No one even expects them to behave otherwise anymore. But I guess it’s a better dystopian future than having the poor fight for the entertainment of the rich. Can we get Marjorie and Lauren on the undercard?
I can’t wait till the logical conclusion for these money-grubbing scumbags to out-do each other comes to giving blowjobs behind a Dollar Store dumpster for $5 a pop.
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Well, I guess at $100 a pop they can afford enough jello to fill the arena…
Sorry everyone, the billionaire fight is cancelled. Elmo’s mommy said he’s not allowed to play outside.
Damn, he should have employed this tactic when he was trying to weasel out of buying Twitter. “Sorry, guys, I can’t spend $44 billion, my mom said no.”
Years ago used to create and post election maps on Twitter, and when looking back at one earlier today, I was startled to see that it had the sensitive content tag applied. Mind you, it’s just a color-coded election map with some narrative text about district outcomes.
I went through the appeal process, and my appeal was denied 30 minutes later “after careful review.” Then, when I went back and looked at the tweet, the tag had been removed.
Sounds like things are going great at Twitter.
And yes, Yzma is much more practical, AND empathetic than both of the individuals in the cage fight. I would totally support her as the next CEO of Twitter. She’s not a good person, but she’d be capable of keeping it running well, and complying with the pre-existing norms of behavior out of enlightened self-interest.
Ad revenue in the “illegal collapsible quarterstaves” field is up 900%!
We live for the One. We die for the One.
I had to block/not interested that one several times. And looks to me like there is a jump cut in the video - doesn’t seem like that even something that can smash empty aluminum cans could collapse into that small a container.
Yes, that video is a scam.
Amazon has a bunch of items just like that “staff”. They usually range between $10-15, though I found a 4-pack for $10. They are thin and flimsy. They absolutely aren’t “quarterstaves”. They’re meant to be magician’s canes used as props in a magic act.
They are extremely thin and delicate. They also come with a ton of warnings to be careful and wear gloves to prevent injury, and disclaimers that they are “toys” that can’t be used as actual tools or weapons.
Also they are generally rated between 2-3 stars, mostly because they break so easily, and people have this fantasy of pulling out a little palm-sized device that turns into a fighting staff like a superhero. Unfortunately, physics won’t let you do that in real life kids.
Also they are apparently a real pain to retract, and stop working after you retract and expand them a few times. More than one person described it as something you’d find at a dollar store.
Elmo is now attempting to prove that, despite his mommy not letting him fight the Zuck, he is nonetheless a Big Karate Boy.
Musk is a ketamine junkie. Because of course he is:
Well, I was hoping to try it, but now I just don’t think I will.
Psst, Elmo. It’s not working. Probably better (for some measure of “better”) for you than smoking giant doobies.
Well, at least he isn’t a scientologist. Gotta take the wins where we can.