You think buying a cell phone would be easy. You think that if they say NATIONWIDE that you could cross state lines without difficuly. Maybe it’s me, but getting this damn little thing working is such a pain in the ass.
So, anyway, I bought a cellphone (I haven’t been to Hell or not to see if it’s froze over. If any Doper happens to stop by, please let me know if it has…) at my current residence in Minot, North Freakin Dakota. Cellphone got to my doorstep this Tuesday, and worked like a charm. I could make calls, recieve calls, I was a phone-happy puppy! I didn’t set up my Voice mail yet, but I figured I would have time when I got to Jersey to do just that. So I went and pulled my shift Tuesday nite/Wednesday morning, went home, and got on the plane. My flight out of Minneapolis got cancelled, but thanks to my new little electronic tool, I was able to call my sister and let her know what was up.
After rebooking a cancelled flight and spending 9 hours with two chatty young ladies in the airport bar, I hopped onto my flight into Newark and made it home. Alas, my jaw dropped when my sister said “We’ve been trying to call you for hours!”. My phone was on (not on the plane, tho) and I was not recieving phone calls! Weird. I called the Verizon helpline, and it went a li’l something like this.
4:45PM
Operator One - “Dave”: “Oh, you haven’t been switched to this market yet. Just hit *18 and send, let our system crunch that for 15 minutes, and you’ll be up and running!” Fifteen minutes later, I’m still not recieving phone calls.
5:09PM
Operator Two - “George”: “Oh, you need to switch from ‘Automatic “A”’ to ‘Automatic “B”’. Then hit *18 and send, and we will be able to see you in the system. Just give it 15 minutes, and you’ll be all set!”. Twenty minutes later, no avail . . .
5:34PM
Operator Three - “Melanie”: After explaining both the previous operators, and being put on hold for 10 minutes, “Hmm, everything seems to be working fine! We have no idea what’s going on! Let me get ahold of our tech support people again and try to find out what’s going on. What is a number I can reach you at, so I can call you back in 20 minutes?” No phone call from Melanie. I’m starting to get agitated.
6:38PM
Operator Four - “Diane”: God bless her young heart. After explaining my predicament, she puts me on hold, and gets with tech support. She personally calls Bell Atlantic (with me on the line) and we conference call to figure out my problem. Bell Atlantic can see me, Verizon can see me, but the company can’t route calls to my phone, from anywhere (not Minot or New Jersey!). My voice mail doesn’t work, and I can only make phone calls. So, after 20 minutes of wrangling with her and BA, she decided to call me back at my home. 15 minutes later, I get a call saying they’ve filled out a “trouble ticket” and it should be solved within 24 to 48 hours. I politely explain my discontent, and she understands. . . She again hangs up, and goes back to battle with Tech Support.
1/2 hour later, I get a call on my cellphone! Great! I can recieve calls and access my voice mail! However, as the voice of James Earl Jones informs me when I dial outbound to a local number, “This feature is not included with your dialling plan. . .” Now I can’t make calls. Frustration ensues.
8:05PM
Operator Four - “Diane” again: “Let me call Tech Support again, and we will get this fixed. I’ll call you back.” Twenty minutes later, Diane calls me up, and has me try to call out. It works. She then calls me on the cellphone. It works. She then walks with me through my voice mail. It works. My problem finally solved (apparently), I ask her operator number and her supervisor’s address. I plan on writing a letter to Verizon chiding the first three operators, and lauding Diane. . .
Has any one of you had problems like this? Am I retarded, or is it my equipment. Because if it’s me, I can fix that. If it’s my equipment, I would have to drop a few dollars for new stuff. I’m just happy my phone got fixed. Whatever magic they did, whatever waving of the fingers, it worked. . .
Tripler
I have a cellphone. Sign 4 out of 7 of the Apocalypse.