You can also spell “kiwi”… that’s some kinda gay fruit!
But who’s in the on-deck circle, man? WHO’S IN THE ON-DECK CIRCLE?
Naked Hitler… Ewww! 
I’ll contribute:
Romney’s twig just hit a rock halfway under the bridge, but is still in the water at least. Obama’s log is about to emerge from under the bridge, but it looks like it just might start to sink a bit.
(Poohsticks).
The only inevitable is the fans of the losing candidate kicking and screaming about those ga-damn refs screwing the whole thing up.
It’s the second to the last lap of 24 Hours of Daytona. Obama’s in the lead, and Romney’s a lap down. His only real hope is for Obama to have a terrible mechanical problem, or run out of fuel in the next couple of turns.
Hey, it’s the only sport I follow.
It’s the replacement poll workers!
Romney’s ball. Thirty seconds to go, Romney’s down by 4. He’s on the Obama 20. Third and 9. Romney has a 21% chance of winning this.
OR…
Obama’s ball. Five seconds to go, tie game. He’s on the Romney 28. First and 10. Obama has a 79% chance of winning.
OR…
Obama’s ball. Right at the start of the fourth quarter, Obama’s up by 4. He’s on Romney’s 35. First and 10. Obama has a 79% chance of winning.
OR…
Romney’s ball. Fourth quarter, 1:40 to go, tie game. He’s on his own 1. Fourth and long. He has a 21% chance of winning.
This is great, I could do these all day.
Are some of your good friends team owners?
I have bad news. Marie-Reine Le Gougne is the sole judge.
Chris Christie.
I’m pretty sure Coach Boehner is keeping Christie on the bench in case of extra innings. Ryan’s in the on-deck circle. Rubio’s in the hole.
Bush, Jr. was yanked earlier after an 0-2 performance, and is currently hitting the showers.
And it’s on triple word score.
Obama is in 1st and holds a green-shell behind him. Romney is in 2nd but is quite a ways behind and is about to pick up an item box. Obama knows how to power-slide and snake, but Romney knows a short-cut through the track if he picks up a mushroom or golden mushroom.
Jill Stein just picked up a blue shell but the Ron Paul supporters used a boo and don’t know how to play Mario Kart.
/Wins thread.
Obama’s got out an active JTMS, 2 Moxen, and land, and is holding Tinker, Force, and Gush. On Romney’s upkeep, all Romney’s got is an Ancient Tomb, a Revoker set to “Time Vault”, and a Thorn in hand he can’t cast.
Obama has switched to door #3, Romney has not.
Obama has Romney turned around and off-balance as he is slipping in the jello. Obama has Romney’s g-string stretched to the breaking point.
Michelle and Ann jump into the mud vat. Oh, wait… that’s another contest.
Obama’s got the finish line in his sites, but Romney’s just launched a blue shell! Can Obama cross the line in time?