Obama's a Communist Tool!

[Tuckerfan]

And here’s the proof!

One evening, during a trip early in 1992, the American half of our venture were invited to V. & T.'s Moscow flat as we were about to return to the States. The party went well and we had the normal dinner discussions.
As the evening wore on, T. developed a decidedly rough anti-American edge - one her husband tried to quietly rein in.
The bottom line of the tirade she started against the United States went something like this:

“What if I told you that you will have a black president very soon and he will be a Communist?”
The out-of-the-blue remark was met by our stares. She continued, “Well, you will; and he will be a Communist.”
It was then that the husband unsuccessfully tried to change the subject; but she was on a roll and would have nothing of it. One of us asked, “It sounds like you know something we don’t know.”
“Yes, it is true. This is not some idle talk. He is already born and he is educated and being groomed to be president right now. You will be impressed to know that he has gone to the best schools of Presidents. He is what you call “Ivy League”. You don’t believe me, but he is real and I even know his name. His name is Barack. His mother is white and American and his father is black from Africa. That’s right, a chocolate baby! And he’s going to be your President.”

Hey! Its on the intarwebs so it must be twue!

[De_La_Rue]

Ah ha, proof of time travel!

[phouka]

Oh, come on!

That essay doesn’t even tell us what kind of tool the President-Elect is. A wrench in the gears of capitalism? A hammer to oppress the innocent? A crowbar to wreak havoc on American society?

Weak.

[elucidator]

I was thinking slide rule.

[Xan]

@phouka

Oh, come on!

That essay doesn’t even tell us what kind of tool the President-Elect is. A wrench in the gears of capitalism? A hammer to oppress the innocent? A crowbar to wreak havoc on American society?

Weak.

A scythe for removing the intestines of the innocent.

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

He is intelligent and he is half white and has been raised from the cradle to be an atheist and a Communist.

Well, at least this proves he’s not a Muslim.

[Derleth]

@Diogenes_the_Cynic

Well, at least this proves he’s not a Muslim.

Well, Muslims don’t believe in Jesus, and Jesus is God, so Muslims don’t believe in God, therefore Muslims are atheists.

There, I’ve run circles around you logically.

[Tuckerfan]

@Derleth

Well, Muslims don’t believe in Jesus, and Jesus is God, so Muslims don’t believe in God, therefore Muslims are atheists.

There, I’ve run circles around you logically.

Waitaminute! That means Jews are atheists as well! We’ve been propping up a Communist regime Israel for decades now! :eek:

[elucidator]

[Pedantic and snotty]

Actually, Muslims revere Jesus as a prophet.

[/PAS]

[Der_Trihs]

@elucidator

[Pedantic and snotty]

Actually, Muslims revere Jesus as a prophet.

[/PAS]

They just say that to hide the fact that they are all Satanic atheists ! In other words, Communists ! ! “Vladimir Ilyich Lenin” can be arranged to spell “I’m Allyh”, a clear example that the Muslims are venerating Communism when they praise “Allah” ( the slight misspelling and the extra letters are just to throw people off, of course ).

[Olentzero]

You can also spell “I yam chillin’, livin’ Red” which makes a much stronger case for Lenin being a fan of Popeye or hip-hop. Or both.

Besides, what more confirmation did you need that Obama’s one of us than his wife’s dress on Election Night? A red hourglass… it’s the clear signal that capitalism’s time is up. How could you miss that?

[elucidator]

Black Widow of Satan. When she has finished with him, when he as provided the seed for the Anti-Christ, she will devour him, and move to assume his powers. Luckily, the only people who will obey are such weak-willed men as will do anything they are told by a smoking-hot fox.

[Little_Nemo]

I have no problem with having a President who’s a Black Muslim Satanist Jewish Atheist Communist.

As long as he’s not gay.

[MEBuckner]

How do we know this nameless Muscovite woman wasn’t referring to some other potential U.S. President who has a white mother and a black African father, an Ivy League education, is named “Barack”, and is a Communist sleeper agent?

I mean, for all we know, Obama has saved us all from the menace of Barack Jones.

[Olentzero]

@elucidator

When she has finished with him, when he as provided the seed for the Anti-Christ, she will devour him, and move to assume his powers.

Third time’s the charm, then?

[Derleth]

@Little_Nemo

I have no problem with having a President who’s a Black Muslim Satanist Jewish Atheist Communist.

As long as he’s not gay.

And no Irish!

[Marley23]

@Tuckerfan

Hey! Its on the intarwebs so it must be twue!

… T. went on, “Okay, so he just got out of grad school a few months ago, but his path to power is clear! First, a couple of years organizing communities in a neighborhood in Chicago, then a professorship and a powerful position in the state legislature. Then, he’ll run for the United States Senate and become the favorite when his opponents are struck down by drug addiction and wife-beating scandals and when a former football coach refuses to run against him!
Did I mention his middle name is Hussein?
No, seriously, stop laughing! We’ve been working on this plan for years and it’s our best one!”

[Alienhand]

It’s the Illuminati again, only telling crazy people what their plans are.

[Olentzero]

@Derleth

And no Irish!

1963 taught 'em a lesson for sure.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Obama’s a Communist Tool!

OOH! OOOH!

I vote for “socket wrench”.

What do I win?