My wife and I have been dealing with the same financial planner for the last seven or eight years and we recently started dealing with an accountant for other issues.
Unfortunately, there may be a divorce just over the horizon (I’m seriously contemplating it but I don’t think that she’s aware, though she wouldn’t be surprised either) and I want to make sure that I’m ready and protected financially. One of my big questions, and this is where I want a professional involved, is if I would be able to keep our house.
My question to you folks is: would that professional, who has been dealing with us as a couple, have an obligation to tell my wife what I’m investigating or planning?
FWIW, I’m not planning a pre-emptive financial strike but I just want a clear understanding of the associated logistics and, should this happen, my intent is a 60/40 split so that we’ll both be reasonably comfortable.
I don’t know what kind of legal obligation your financial planner may have but clearly he has an ethical obligation not to hide anything from one of the partners he is advising. I think you need to talk to a lawyer instead of a financial planner.
Divorce law is messy and complex, and it varies by state so you should be consulting an attorney regarding how assets are normally split up between husband and wife where you live. You can do this without your wife’s knowledge since separate legal counsel is usual for a divorce.
As far as your accountant goes, are you the one who normally deals with the investments and works with the accountant or are you both typically involved in those discussions? If you are the person talking to the accountant then I doubt they are obligated to tell your wife what you may be planning, however if your wife asks the accountant direct questions I would think they would have to disclose any such discussions they may have had with you since it relates to joint assets. I discuss all kinds of things with my financial advisor and that never gets back to my wife because she’s not interested in the details and she trusts me.
I would suggest that how things are split legally is outside the range of a financial planner or an accountant. (Although they may have some tips, but better not to ask). I will second the advice to get your own lawyer.
As for keeping the house - again, lawyer… you may (will) be obliged to buy her 50% stake in the equity and remortgage. The fun part there may be the issue of getting a mortgage approval while going through a divorce. (An acquaintance owned a small car dealership, and he mentioned that as soon as the bank found out he was in divorce proceedings credit got VERY difficult, almost putting him out of business.)
Regarding the financial planner, what would you tell them? That all of the work they have been doing for the last seven years is getting blown up? Because you really have to embrace the notion that thing are probably not going to work out exactly the way that you expect.
The only other thing to think of is, don’t get into financial planning that is expensive to exit early; but most of the time you buy stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc. that are easily sold again - as long as you don’t time your emptive strike at a market low point.
Also note that many mutual funds have a 90-day penalty clause, IIRC - if you get in then get out too quickly, you pay a penalty. This is designed to prevent churning. (Also counters a classic technique from over a decade ago, where near the end of the day, if the market was up, you could buy mutual fund shares based on last night’s close prices for an automatic gain.)
So don’t be churning your mutual funds just before the big day.
Depending on the law of the jurisdiction, the timing of the purchase, and the terms of the mortgage, one of the spouses may have no “stake” in the home or obligation under the mortgage at all, or one may have a greater ownership interest than the other.
velo, you need a family law attorney, not a financial planner. Whether the rules governing the FP require disclosure to the spouse of confidential information depends on whether you have a joint client relationship, his/her certification if any, and other factors. You can just ask what obligations the FP has to your wife if you disclose potentially bad information for her.
Are there any kids involved. If so, then try and get her to punch you. File a domestic abuse restraining order on her and have the sheriff remove her from the family home. Courts tend to look VERY VERY favorably on men who don’t punch back. This should get you temporary custody of the kids which almost always will lead to permanent custody in the final decree. Although the decree will split the marital assets, you’ll be able to suck her dry with all the child support she’ll have to pay you.
Contact a divorce attorney and contact a divorce attorney NOW !!!
… and for God’s sake DON’T make any internet posts about this.
I’ve been extremely busy at work since I first asked. It’s a weird situation because I do love my wife and vice versa but the bloody fates have been kicking us to death for the last seven years and our marriage is experiencing severe structural fatigue. We’re getting marriage counselling from the psychologist who fixed my anger issues eight years ago and he is extremely smart and effective.
There may be light at the end of the tunnel but I don’t think either of us will be too sure for a while.
Having said all that, thank you all very much for the advice.