Okay. This is my 2nd attempt at this OP. The first was completely eaten by the evil server. Grrrr!
So…yesterday morning I received a random call on my cell phone. When I answered, I was met with rather inarticulate, but certainly sexual, moans and groans (that I suspect were fake). I gave the most emasculating reaction I could think of: I burst out into rather loud laughter. More moaning. I asked him didn’t he have the internet, where he could find better stuff for free? Isn’t this really a pathetic option? Moan moan groan. My hubby, curious, asked who was on the phone; I answered “It’s some loser jerking off on the phone!” Moan moan. My hubby, less amused, encouraged me to hang up. I did, but less than 2 minutes later Pathetic Pranker Boy called back. This time, my hubby answered–and the wuss promptly hung up. Pffft! Whassa matta, you don’t want to groan for a him?
Of course, not long after that second call I thought of what would have been the most fun reaction to the first call: Tell the caller “Well then, how 'bout a 3-way?” and then have my hubby pick up the line and start moaning back. Hee hee hee!
Another story: While in college, I had someone who was very interested in calling me, but notsomuch in actually talking to me. He’d call, I’d answer, and all I’d hear–if anything–was (what I perceived as nonsexual) breathing. This went on for weeks, but then apparently Sparky’s balls must have dropped because he finally gathered them up enough to actually say something to me. The “conversation” went something like this:
Dufus: Ruffian, what are you wearing?
D: What are you wearing?
M: (a bit of pause while I became genuinely pissed) Look, is this really how you get off? Why don’t you just go get a porn magazine and go jack off…
That was the last I heard from him. Unlike the first caller I described here, who I genuinely believe was just some random prank caller who had too much to do now that school’s out, this weirdo actually knew who I was and called me by name. I think that since the 1st guy was just playing around, he kept going despite my mockery; the 2nd guy, who seemed to be getting a real thrill out of this, shriveled up in a hurry when I didn’t react like a frightened mouse.
What are you stories? How did you solve the problem, if it was a problem? How would you have reacted differently?
BTW, the only solution to Random Caller Guy was to change my number. This was the last straw in a series of benign, but bizarre, “wrong numbers” (even weird text messages). It especially sucked that he always called from a “Restricted” number. The cellular company said they couldn’t do anything about that–and I understand they couldn’t have given it to me, but I’d hope they’d be able to trace it themselves and do something on their end–so, number change it was. Since only a very small handful of people have that number, it’s no skin off my back.
I would have loved to get that guy’s number, though. I wouldn’t mind pranking back at him with far more creative ideas than mere moaning.