I just made myself chuckle:
Why did the people of Constantinople dislike their emperor Zeno, the Isaurian? Because they were Zeno-phobic.
It’s funnier than you think, I promise.
What’s the most obscure you can come up with?
I’d bet you could locate at least one obscure joke in
Good jokes you’ve heard recently
12-13-2012, 02:00 PM
Elendil’s Heir
… with latest post:
#1728
03-26-2015, 02:42 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator
I’d also bet that any I could think of would already be on that thread. 
So, sixteen sodium atoms and the Caped Crusader walk into a bar…
The first time I read that joke I got it right away. To me, sodium = Na. I was surprised that nobody I later told got it until they had a Chem 11 refresher.
Nah, the overeducated [XZ]enophobic pun to make is that like most extremists, they can never find a way to meet halfway.
Ok, I don’t like to gear my material to the audience but I’d like to make an exception because I was told that there is a convention of plumbers in San Francisco this week – I understand about 30 of them came down to the show tonight – so before I came out I worked-up a joke especially for the plumbers. Those of you who aren’t plumbers probably won’t get this and won’t think it’s funny, but I think those of you who are plumbers will really enjoy this…
“This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”
Who’s up for some eggs a la Harold Stassen?
They’re always running!
Who led the Pedants’ Revolt?
Which Tyler!
From here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=105629
The Three Stooges sat on top of a high wall watching the mayor’s funeral procession. It was raining, but they didn’t have an umbrella. Suddenly, Moe cried “Geronimo” and leapt off the wall. A moment later, Larry cried “Sitting Bull” and leapt off the wall. A moment later Curly murmured “no soap radio” and stayed put.
What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? “Benoit B Mandelbrot.”
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.
Why did Erwin Schrödinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in a very small garage? Because they’re quantum mechanics.
Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Round here, just to show the armadillos that it can be done.
Actually, that should be FOUR bars…
Another I’ve heard on that theme: during the Pedants’ Revolt, the king rides out to meet with the rebels and try to negotiate with them. On seeing the rebellious crowd, he exclaims: “Why, bless my soul, you’re numerous ! I’d thought that there’d be less of you.” Whereupon the rebels yell out, with one mighty voice: “FEWER !”
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na…
Batman!
So I was driving down the road with Heisenberg and I said “Hey, look, we’re going due east at 50 mph.” Heisenberg throws his hands up and says “Great. Now we’re lost.”
I always say that Obscurity is in the Eye of the Beholder.
But to the Pure, nothing is Obscure.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing, you can’t cross a vector and a scaler.
What are the lyrics to the song-as-such?
Do doo do do do the noumenon!
Do do do do!
(YouTube)
Why was the Little Buddha so little? Because he was bu da.
What do they use to slice their pizza in Mexico?
Leetle Seezars