[QUOTE=Hentor the Barbarian]
Rowlings is a mediocre writer who is particularly bad at writing about emotions convincingly (writing about chronic irritability doesn’t make one very good at writing about emotions).
[/QUOTE]
Quite right, old chap, quite right.
Rowling is a gifted storyteller, is what it is. A hundred years ago, before TV, before big-box bookstores, she would have been the village storyteller, with everyone gathered around, eyes wide and leaning forward breathless with anticipation. She can spin a yarn like nothing I’ve ever seen. Book 1 alone almost gave me a heart attack. But she is mediocre when it comes to description, and as you said, emotions.
Look how many times in this volume someone was scared shitless while being interrogated. How does JKR convey this? By having them stutter. There are a zillion ways to convey that someone is nervous and afraid to say the wrong thing. Have them lick their lips and look around as if for help (even that’s a cliche, really, but better than what we got). Have them gripping a talisman of some sort. Have them pulling at their hair. It’s not all in the speech, is my point. She does very little, if anything, to show how someone looks while they’re in the grips of a strong emotion. And when she does, it’s usually, “He looked terrified” or “She looked miserable.” Oh, and I love this, from page 243 (I know the page number because I kept pointing it out to people): “Someone in the crowd around the lifts called out sycophantically, ‘Morning, Yaxley!’”
How in the bloody hell can someone sound sycophantic?! Show how they were sycophantic! They smiled without looking up, or they smiled too wide, or…something! Gah!
But I think that’s actually part of the appeal. The books go down real easy, like frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. And I despise frozen yogurt. Obviously I don’t despise HP, but I’m currently looking forward to the new Harry Turtledove. He only irritates me with repetition*. Other than that, I will be savoring every word like Dove chocolate. With Rowling, the words are a means of conveying action, not art in and of themselves.
And I’m only halfway through the review thread, but has anyone commented on her (mis)use of colons? I can’t count how many times she had a compound sentence divided by a colon: And then a capital letter afterwards. Fergossakes, if they’re really two separate ideas, then use a period and make them separate sentences. Or go ahead and use the colon, or better yet a semicolon, but then you follow it with a lower-case letter. (Unless that’s a British thing.)
*Mr. Rilch says he’s going to leave it to me to read the Leonard O’Doull sequences, and tell him if there’s anything to them besides, as he puts it, “Puff puff, war sucks, funny like a crutch, fighting against the ether cone.” But we’ll both be riveted during the battle scenes.