Oh, can we do haircuts, too?
Lady with the shaved head with just a lock of bangs in the front and a tail in the back: You look idiotic. Shave your whole damn head if you must.
Men, puhleeze wear “knee socks” under trousers. Absolutely no one wants to see your leg sticking out between the bottom of your trousers and the top of your socks when you sit down.
Kids, the low slung pants with boxers hanging out is soooo September 10th.
Ladies, simply wear the right damn size. Even a size 28 can look good if her clothes fit well. Squeezing into a smaller size only makes you look like an idiot.
Black pants go with everything … everything I’m likely to wear, anyway.
Girls:
My boyfriend always gets so agitated when he sees a girl wearing her ankle bracelet underneath her pantyhose IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE ON THE OUT SIDE!
If you have the slightest belly roll or stretch marks, please do us all a favor and DO NOT WEAR A HALF SHIRT!
If your ass is wider than your shoulders, do not wear mini skirts or tight pants ( very unattractive ).
Respect the limits God placed on wear your lips end, and don’t go beyond that with your lipstick (it makes you look like a clown).
Don’t put on your make-up with a trowel.
Guys:
Don’t wear a sleeveless t-shirt if you have a fur coat attached to your back.
Please please please throw away all your socks that have holes in them ( yes, even really litttle holes ).
A third to the dark lipliner/pale lipstick thing. And, on a related note (as all of the women I see with one look seem to have the other) do NOT shave off your eyebrows and draw on a single line with pencil. It does not work, and it has never flattered a single person who has tried it.
Finally - if you can see the line of your undies under your pants or skirt, either wear looser clothes, or get a thong. A visible panty line is somewhat less than attractive.
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When wearing a skirt with a slit up the front, the skirt should be long enough on you to NOT show your goods. In addition, sitting with your legs together is always a bonus. You aren’t Sharon Stone.
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To overweight women like myself: tucking in usually isn’t a good idea.
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Men: while pants should not hang down to your knees exposing your underwear, neither should they be so tight as to decrease sperm count.
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Women: if your clothes are likely to remind someone of Crystal Carrington, it’s time to go shopping.
When I went to a Grateful Dead concert back in the late 80s, there was a woman who was not petite by any stretch of the imagination.
Back then, one of the styles was a shirt with holes cut out all over the place. This woman decided to wear one, and flesh was oozing out of every hole in the shirt (which was too small to begin with).
Sheri
Old men take note:
Trim those nose hairs and your ear hairs.
Old women take note:
Shaving your hormonal hair IS noticable.
Men:
If you are past high school/college age, you should dye your hair “funky” colours ! I sudder every time I see an adult man with green or blue or fire engine red hair. Look people: when you were 20 it was fun and different, when you’re 35 it’s bordering on tragic.
Preview is my friend!
That should read you should not dye your hair “funky” colors !
I feel all embarrassed
Ladies, also, if you are going to wear that slit skirt, wear a slit slip underneath. They DO make them you know.
And, while we’re on the subject, ladies, if you’re going to wear a skirt (or dress) wear a slip.
Oh, and Gundy, some of us “older gals” were raised to believe only whores and little girls went bare-legged unless she was wearing shorts. Which is why I’ve never worn open-toed shoes.
Mine is for the men with larger bellies who still squeeze their expanding girthin into small pants.
I’m sure we’ve all seen the stomachs that protude over the belts which is done up just above the groin… yeah… good look.
OMG - we have a maintenance guy who, despite a build not unlike Santa’s, insists that he wears a 34 waist. We keep saying “Mike - are you SURE you don’t want us to order to larger pants from the uniform company?” His constant response - “No, just make sure I have damn strong suspenders.” As a result, we also have to make sure he gets shirts with extra long tails. 
Unless you are a drag queen, in which case we presume it’s “ironic” and “you go for it girl!”
Redboss
as a guy i would have to say that visible pantylines ARE a good thing, if you have the arse to show off, in the first place
Don’t wear spandex. Ever.
That’s it, ‘cause I think y’all are just bein’ bitchy.
If anything, this thread should be in the Pit. It’s not like these fashion offenders you are calling out to are sitting on the SDMB listening to you. And even if they were, it’s not like they’d be sitting there in their too-small pants and gross lipstick thinking, “Oh, wow. I had no idea I looked silly all my life. Thank you Dopers for showing me the error of my ways!”
Feh.
And who said bitchy was a bad thing?
Anyway, I work in an outdoor store. Yesterday, this girl walked in and asked for a job. She was wearing a skin-tight half-shirt and low-slung jeans and was obviously wearing a wonderbra. The managers had lots of fun ogling the goods while they asked her pointless questions about her qualifications. She eventually left, and they had a good laugh at her expense. So, here’s another tip:
If you’re asking for a non-sex-related job, you should be fully clothed.
p.s. **JerseyDiamond/b]: You crack me up.
Didn’t see this above, so I’ll post it.
Under no conditions are mullets cool.
Colin
As I said, beany: “Feh.”
Hear hear, Lorinada!
I think the rules have relaxed somehow, but people who cannot go without hose, SHOULD NOT wear open toed shoes.
Yuck.
Disgusting.
And no, the “sandalfoot” hose are not OK.
They’re just not.
These days, wearing sandals with bare legs is much less of a fauz pas than wearing open-toed sandals with hose.