A wine bottle stopper
In the Q-tip dispenser
In the refrigerator next to the headcheese… 
Suddenly, I’m reminded of King Missle’s songDetachable Penis
(CAUTION on link above - GEOCITIES)
Darn it all to heck and beyond. I missed the chance to give that King Missle reference by…what? 3 minutes.
I blame my penis for this lethargy.
In a small claims court.
Inside a Snickers Bar wrapper.
In a pool set aside for syncronized swimming.
Sorry Ender - guess mine was just feeling a bit friskier this morning
next to a broken toaster oven at st. mark’s place
( 
for all you king missile fans)
Sitting next to the mariana sauce on a plate of mozzerella sticks.
Proudly standing on top of the Christmas tree.
In a candle holder on the dinner table at Grandma’s on Thanksgiving.
From the link:
I’d say underneath a riding lawnmower is a pretty odd place for a penis…
OK, the penis ending up in the arm makes sense, but what I don’t understand is how the riding mower chopped it off in the first place.
In a pencilcase.
In a vase of flowers, behind the gerberas.
Shakin’ it’s groove thing on the dance floor.
Inside a snail’s shell.
Inside only five Wonka candy products across the nation.
Under the boardwalk, down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby
in the “need a penny, take a penny; have a penny, leave a penny” tray at the convenience store.
Inside only five Wonka candy products across the nation.
Under the boardwalk, down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby
in the “need a penny, take a penny; have a penny, leave a penny” tray at the convenience store.
Daniel wouldn’t it have to be a golden penis then? Would make the Charlie grandpa song a bit strang(er?).
On a woman.
Hanging from the rearview mirror (scrape scrape scrape).
Replacing the mouse at computer terminals everywhere.
In a glue trap.
In the pocket of your freshly dry cleaned slacks.
D’oh!
Floating in a Toilet
Discarded in an ashtray at the sperm bank.
In the church collection plate.
In someone’s butterfly net.
In a butter dish.
Replacing the fake scuba diver caught in the octopus tentacles in a fishtank.
Shifting the contents of the overhead bins on an international flight.
In a Port-A-Potty at Lillity Fair.
On the back of a mouse.
Dangling from the gold chain around a mohel’s neck.
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In a basket of holiday fruit, crammed between a cheese wheel and some of those weird-o star fruit things. Festive. Fun.
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On a gerbil’s excersize wheel. You know. Cos a penis in today’s society has got to be slim and trim.
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It would also be enjoyable to have a penis magically lodge itself in Kenny G’s ridiculous horn-thing in the middle of a particularly flatulent note midway through Winter Wonderland; then the penis would flop out and hit some woman with a big floppy hat in the seventh row dressed in a floral print muumuu.
(Lastly, I’d just like to say that the original locations thought up that fateful night in the car were better than these second draft ones of mine. At least they seemed that way at the time, what with the exhaust fumes and all. I was in the passenger’s seat that night. Mudshark was in the trunk).