I feel like the OP is basing most of her information on what is possible during missionary by placing Ken on top of Barbie and assuming that humans work exactly the same way.
For most people most of the time, these are the same thing.
Your generalization about traditional or arranged marriages is very wrong. They are still a couple and they go through the same kinds of sexual relationships that “live matches” go through.
If you think that letting your parents arrange your marriage is going to free you from having to deal with your husband’s interest in recreational sex or sexual attraction to you, then you’re mistaken.
^^^ This ^^^
I’m starting to get the feeling that she would begin her project of designing a starship by getting someone to tell her about an episode of My Favorite Martian.
I am reminded of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. The Faustian narrative tells the story of a young man who is completely influenced by Lord Henry Wotton and becomes convinced that the only things worth pursuing in life are beauty and sensual experiences. Throughout the novel, that’s what he mainly pursues at the cost of his disfigurement of his portrait and relationships with other people. Frustrated, he tries to do right, but even that move is out of vanity and more experiences rather than true humility and altruism. To understand the novel, you must understand that the work is part of the aestheticism movement, in which art should be made for the senses. The 2009 movie adds a sexual spin to the plot, probably to attract modern audiences. In the original narrative, sex is never a part of the plot or the pursuit of Dorian Gray. Instead, he merely gravitates towards what he thinks is beautiful. Having a picture to show off your beauty because the painter admires your beauty is vanity, so one interpretation is that Wilde is making a critique of the aestheticism movement. The novel is multi-layered and complex, and different people can get different interpretations. The book is relevant to this thread, because there is a cost in seeking new experiences as a pathologically obsessive pursuit. In your example, seeking sexual experience by entering a relationship triangle is a recipe for disaster. It is best that the third party would not intervene in the relationship of the couple, or else jealousy ensues.
Silly! You’ve been allowing the woman to move??!! I recommend sandbags.
<cannot get cucumber with grappling hooks out of mind>
Yeah. We *are *being played.
I think you mean “penis ensues”.
It’s very easy in general for a woman to get laid unless she is exceptionally hideous or super morbidly obese, and even then they will eventually find a taker. The number of women that would have to resort to prostitution to lose their virginity has to be such an insignificant figure as to be approaching zero.
This is if no help to a person with what seems like a high degree of anxiety surrounding sex. I can see how it might be comforting to experience sex for the first time with a professional of some kind—whether a surrogate or a prostitute.
For everything else in this thread, I think Skald invoking Athenianism is the most unsettling to me. Always took you for the Freyja type.
Well, if you’re looking for an example of mechanical “insert tab A into slot B” sex, then a prostitute is the way to go. Or it at least it ups the odds a whole lot. Funny as it sounds, cash isn’t really the number one way to get a human’s juices flowing, or to provoke enthusiasm or emotional involvement.
So there’s that, if the OP wants to confirm some misconceptions.
Sex without an ongoing relationship isn’t necessarily bad sex. And a professional would have experience in not making you feel bad for your inexperience. The kind of guy you’d meet at s bar who would have sex with anyone might not be as considerate as someone performing a service.
Well, the category of guys who would have sex with anyone overlaps greatly with the kind of guys who aren’t actually having a lot of it with anyone.
Find someone in the latter category, and, while they may not be experts at what they’re doing, I’ll bet that at least they’ll be grateful and enthusiastic.
Which should matter more than skills, in my (maybe idiosyncratic, I grant you) opinion. With a prostitute, you’re more likely to encounter “bored”.
Sure, I’d rather have a bored professional than an enthusiastic amateur when if comes to fixing my dishwasher. But we’re talking about sex, not engineering.
Edit: Actually, since we’re talking about a lady looking for the hookup, it’s probably just confusing things beyond all hope to drag prostitution into the discussion. And, besides, if the lady goes to a lady prostitute, maybe the latter would see it as a welcome change of pace.
Who is saying that it is?
Which would perhaps make them s bad choice for someone with high anxiety who just wants to get through the experience with someone who knows what he’s doing and isn’t going to judge her performance.
Confident, calm, patient, experienced, skilled, reassuring, and kind might be a better set of characteristics than enthusiastic and grateful.
You suppose that male sex surrogates or prostitutes with women clients make a good living by being off-putting and bored? My understanding is that they specialize in being attentive and good companions.
And having watched HBO’s Cathouse, I’m under the impression that even female prostitutes put s lot of effort into making their male clients feel good about themselves, not just sticking and leaving.
No, I apologize, I got myself confused by thinking of lady prostitutes. Obviously, if such a thing as a male prostitute actually exists (maybe I live a sheltered life, but I can’t recall ever encountering one), then “bored” doesn’t really make sense.
Yeah, I guess the OP could knock herself out and see a (hypothetical or otherwise) male prostitute. I concede the point.
You seem to have not been paying attention. Skald’s devotion to Athena is so legendary it’s nearly the stuff of myth.
Shouldn’t Tab A be inserted in Slot A?
I guess it depends. Are we talking recreational sex, or purely procreative?
:eek:
Take … that … back. Or Legolas gets a bullet to the throat.
In New York City today, it is illegal to buy or sell sex. In Holden Caulfield’s time, I am not entirely sure of its legality in New York. In my state, it is also illegal to buy and sell sex. On top of that, the existence of prostitutes tends to be associated with gangs and street violence. One reason to make prostitution illegal is to arrest prostitutes in order to obtain the more dangerous criminals behind it - pimps/madams and violent gang members. The comment I made above about using a prostitute to have sex was a joke. There are massage parlors that provide erotic massage, but those are illegal, and the practitioners would not be licensed.
Bars, pubs, and drinking establishments are only good for people who drink alcohol. In the United States, if you are over the age of 21, you can drink alcohol. Moderate drinking means 2 glasses of alcohol if you are a man and 1 glass of alcohol if you are a woman. Of course, not everybody can metabolize alcohol, and not everybody enjoys the flavor. I know what alcohol tastes like. I sampled it at the supermarket and college bar, because I was of legal age and I could. The beer burned, and the wine was all bitter.
When reading your posts, I get the pervasive feeling that you have learned about society from books and other media, but not from first-hand experience.
Please, just go out into the world and have fun. It will be scary and you will mess up and be embarrassed but the longer you wait the harder it will be to overcome your inhibitions. There are some things that you have to learn for yourself. You have nothing to lose and a lifetime of experiences to gain.