Just because you see me opening some string-cheese does not mean I am interested in having you as a snack-partner.
So before you decide to drop from an un-identified location on the ceiling above my lap, consider this: I HATE COCKROACHES, and the only things I hate more than you are seeing you on my lap.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
[sub]I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to throwing up out of sheer shivering grossedness in my entire life.[/sub]
I just had to tell you that I spent the last 10 minutes laughing until I cried because I could just see you trying to carry on this conversation with the roach. I know it’s really not funny, if it happened to me, I probably would have sh!t myself out of fear. (Cockroaches are only good for one thing…making my SO feel big and burly when he kills them for me!)
Look at the bright side… At least it wasn’t inside the string cheese…<shudder>
I’m feeling incredibly woozy now from all the Raid fumes. For the record, it is NOT a good idea to spray Raid up at the ceiling and then sit in the ensuing mist. Regardless of what they say about the lack of effect on humans.
And screech-owl, that is absolutely correct! It is an affectionate diminutive in France, really it is…
It’s a battle royale! The Fleas and the Cockroaches are going at it, head to head! OH NO!!! The Fleas have gotten the RAID out! Isn’t that foreign object, Gene?
Why yes it is, but not if the ref didn’t see it!
OH MY! The Fleas are beating the crap out of the Roaches! This could be over!
<ding ding>
It IS over! The Fleas are the new heavyweight champeens of the world!
I had an apartment with {shudder} cockaroaches once (very few cockroaches in Calgary - I’ve never had them before or after); my introduction to my uninvited, unwelcome guests was when I was taking a bath in my new home, and a cockroach crawls out of the overflow drain. I honestly don’t remember getting out of the tub; I suspect I actually achieved teleportation. Lord, I hate those little monsters. And spiders and leeches and ticks. Eww, I’m creeping myself out.
(BTW, the cockroach-infested apartment building is on the corner of 11th Ave and 2nd St SW for you Calgarians out there - warn your friends and family not to rent there.)
(dantheman, shouldn’t that be “new flyweight champeens of the world” :D?)
I didn’t see the movie, but I remember the skit well. Joe comes home with a date and the roaches are everywhere. They turn on the stereo, dim the lights, etc. Eventually Joe goes to put the moves on his girl- the roaches chant “Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!” (which is hilarious). They all crowd to one side of the swinging light they are in (think bowl shaped with a cord hanging from the ceiling), and eventually fall all over the couple on the couch. The girl leaves in horror and Joe chastises the roaches.
Extremely funny, especially the first time you see it.
Pucette, I sympathize with you- I found a Palmetto bug in a silverware drawer once and got the heebie-jeebies (I think that’s the medical term) for about a month!
Let me share a story.
I’m 13 years old. My parents drag me and my little sister along with them on a fishing expedition. It’s summertime in SC, so it’s blazingly bitchy hot and around 10pm, and lil sis and I are walking around, bitching about wanting to go home when it happens. I look out at the moonlit grass and see THEM. Cockroaches, sporadically scurrying across the sidewalk and in the grass surrounding the lake. Disgusted, I turn around and start walking back to my parents when IT happened. A flying cockroach lands on my upper thigh. I scream. It proceeds to walk up my shorts. (No, it didn’t go far, thank God.) So I’m jumping around, screaming at the top of my lungs while my sister stands there, staring at me.
“Get it OFF! OH MY GOD! GET IT OFF! OH MY GOD EWWWW”
After about 30 seconds of pure horror and disgust, the cockroach detachs himself from my leg.
I have never gone fishing since then.
I don’t go to that lake at night anymore, either.
My parents thought it was funny. (sniff)
AND I squish the little bastards whenever I can. Watching Joe’s Apartment almost sent me over the edge. Ugh. May all cockroaches fall off the face of the earth and go back to Hell where they come from, forever and ever, Amen.
I’m in Alabama, and down here we call the huge, flying roaches that breed outside and swarm “Palmetto bugs,” mainly because no one wants to admit that the entire back wall of their house is pulsing with giant, nuclear, flying cockroaches.
“Wait! Don’t leave! They’re just Palmetto bugs! They live in the woods! They don’t live in houses! Seriously! Come back! I’ll even help pick them out of your hair.”
spritle - the whole attempt to make me feel the slightest bit of regret for introducing this creature to the bottom of a male co-worker’s shoe is NOT working.
And thank you very much, all of you flying-cockroach-tale-relaters, for helping me put this into perspective. I think I would have gone into conniptions had that thing actually flown onto my face or something.
Keep those stories coming! I might as well take advantage of the pre-existing shivers…
My grossest roach story: My friend Keith in B’more had roaches in his apt. so large he swore that one of them (Loretta) wore spike heels and a leopard-skin pillbox hat. Anyway, one morning Keith was making coffee. Still half-asleep, he took down a coffee mug and was about to pour the coffee in when he glanced down and there in the mug a roach was GIVING BIRTH.
To this day, I always look into any glass before pouring drinks into it.
It can get cold enough in NE FL that some plants need to be brought in for the winter. I had dragged an assortment of pots from the front porch to the dining room, needing to decide how to spread them thru the house. My husband came home and hung his jacket on the back of a dining room chair.
He called me from work the next morning, still creeped out. When he put his jacket on that morning, he felt something odd on his arm so he smacked it. In case you’re not aware, Palmetto bugs have a distinctive stink when squished. My poor sweetie was so grossed out, he had to strip down and shower again before leaving for work. We did manage to save the jacket.