I walked into the office this morning, turned around behind the desk…
There was a dead roach. Crumpled, bent, brown. It should have been a clue that he was lying on his ventral side.
I turned around to get a tissue off the desk, and the little bastard was gone.
Playing 'possum.
He’s probably watching me from under the furniture tight now, planning.
Waiting for me to go to sleep…
You sleep at your desk? Well, obviously your boss* has suspicions about you and decided to bug your office to keep an eye on you.
*[sub]Don’t ruin my joke by telling me you are self-employed and work at home.[/sub]
Really, though, would that ruin the joke? 
Ack! The teeny things crawling around my ancient basement are bad enough. My boss went to Texas and saw some in his low-rent motel, and I don’t want to meet any when I go next week.
About that hotel… seems when he left, a roach hitched a ride in his toiletry kit, and ran up the arm of the luggage screener at the airport. He got the rubber glove treatment, go figure!
It would ruin it for me. I think I’m amusing. I like to laugh at myself.
I once went to visit a friend whose house is plagued with large, LARGE, roaches. I took my purse with me.
I still visit her - she is not a bad housekeeper, but she lives in an area where the little bastards thrive - but I no longer take my purse.
There is nothing like driving down the interstate at 65 mph and seeing a roach crawl out of your purse.
I’ve seen one or two roaches at work but they were all quickly dispatched.
Once while getting out of a friends car I noticed something in front of my face. It was about the time I swatted at it that I saw it was a spider. I might have freaked out and jumped a bit but this was shown to be a good idea as there were several more on my glasses. I smacked my head and shook it so hard I’m surprised I did not get whiplash.
Now every time I leave her car I pa myself down and shake. I don’t know where the spiders cae from, but I’m not taking chances.
:eek: I would never ever get in that car again!
Of course not, but that sneaky little roach probably thinks He has to sleep sometime… Just trying to see it from the insect point of view.
Know Your Enemy.
I haven’t seen the little f–k today. I wonder if I should open drawers very quickly or very slowly.
last year I worked in an unnamed government agency building in DC.
One morning on it’s pristine walls was the biggest cockroach I’d seen since living on the Gulf of Mexico.
My co-worker had never seen one take flight, so I took a lighter out of my pocket and held it to it’s posterior. That joker unfurled it’s wings and headed straight for her! She screamed bloody murder! We were swarmed by security (weapons ready) who were then treated to the second showing of my ability to make a roach fly. WHEW!
Roaches don’t particularly scare me, but I posted in here once when I found an earwig in my office. I didn’t know what it was; I’d never seen one before and those things are scary mofos if you don’t know what it was. Ugh. It even scared the building supervisor; I called him over, and next time the exterminator came in he made a special trip to our oiffice.
I almost never used my own car again. All I did was take a nice (hurricany) vacation to Disney. I parked my car at Bradley for just under one week. I came back and found a spider in my car. I killed it and went on with my life. Over the next month though, I discovered an INFESTATION in my little car. It got to the point where I’d park my car at night and the next morning I’d have a huge spiderweb covering my windshield and steering wheel.
Did I mention that of all bugs I loathe spiders most?
I finally had to call in an exterminator, $75 later and I never saw another 8 legged little bastard in there again.
He said I my engine and wheel wells were FILLED with webs.
Ahhhhhh! screams and runs
First, my usual Nerdy Comment: Spiders, like Dopers and Ice Cream Truck Drivers (Insert “Turkey in the Straw” background music here) were just trying to make a living. They eat bugs. Lots of bugs.
Second, if your engine and wheel wells were filled, driving would have been a good way to kill them. 
You’d think so, wouldn’t you?
I don’t know how they survived. I don’t even know for sure that he was telling the truth, as I had no intention of double checking. All I know is that when I finally got the nerve to open the hood, it was filled with webs. And this was 2 weeks after the extermination.
I don’t have a problem with bugs in general, as long as they have fewer than 8 legs. I don’t know why but lots of legs creep me out. Of course, having a spider drop down in front of my face while I’m driving isn’t exactly safe, and wouldn’t be even if I didn’t have a preexisting dislike of spiders.
I have no problem watching spiders at work. I don’t mind seeing them when I’m outside. When I’m working in a garden, I just ignore them. But I don’t like having them in my house and I really don’t like having them in my car.
Ah, I see he’s found the boss’s liquor cabinet. hic
I just try not to think about it. That doesn’t work, but somehow I manage to force myself not to remember while in the car. It is only when I get out and she drives away that I freak out. Surprisingly, that is not my largest fear when it comes to bugs.
Spiders only bother me when they fall from somewhere. When they hang in front of my face is when it is the worst. I think this is from watching “Charlotte’s Web” when I was a child- when the egg sack exploded at the end I was scared for life. I always make sure there are no webs above my bed before going to sleep.Thousands of baby spiders cascading down while I sleep? No thanks.
The two bugs that, no matter where I see them, freak me out are ants and earwigs. Earwigs because they are just creepy and we would get them everywhere when I lived in Wisconsin. I actually found one on my bed down here years ago. I slept on the couch for a week.
Ants are annoying and I always get bit by the red ones. We had a huge ant problem in high school. I would be sitting in the last desk and there would be a line of ants along the wall behind me. When ever one would crawl on my I’d slap it and yell “ANT!” People would turn to look at me, but I just couldn’t help it. After one has crawled on you you swear more are there and you get that creepy crawly feeling.
Okay- I need to stop because I’m getting that feeling just writing about it. :shiver:
I must be evil, because this gives me so many ideas…
One hopes you are not contemplating annoying the baggage screener.
You definitely wouldn’t have survived the Girl Scout camp located outside Austin, Texas – the inside of the cabin roofs, at the right time of year, would be so thickly covered with daddy longlegs that it looked like they were covered with inch-thick fur. For some reason, the girls would freak out, too.
And speaking of Austin, I worked for a (crummy little) state agency briefly there many years back, and we played a game of leaving a chunk of cake or something else edible in a cup overnight and then seeing who could collect the most and most variety of roaches. They were cheeky bastards, would just come marching across your desk while you were trying to work. It was definitely symptomatic of the creep who ran that agency…:eek: