Why do you hate me? I have hung Hula-Girl air fresheners from you. I never jerk you around. Occassionally, I will gently shift the nightvision switch at your base and I always return it in the morning. Everytime (3) you have fallen off the windshield I gently restore you with the best aftermarket kits available. I know the glass-glue isn’t as good as the factory but is that any reason to quit and fall off? Are you not a team player? I can’t deal with it anymore. I went overboard on this repair and I did it all for you…Do you want a Sun Freshener? or how about a voluptuous mermaid? Just please don’t fall off again, you know how you like to fall off right in the middle of traffic, usually, just as I’m reaching up to adjust you? It’s not funny, in fact it’s dangerous, try it…one more time, go ahead. If you bail one more time, you know those big Channel lock Plyers in the back? I will decapitate your rear-view portion from your swivel linkage. Oh, yeah, your going to scream and no one will hear you then youre going to Rear-View Mirror Hell, where all the other quitters end up. O.K.? are we O.K. now?
This is your last warning! I can’t stand quitters! remember the Turn-signal bulb? Remember what I did to him when he quit? It’s all up to you now…No more Mr. Niceguy O.K.? Your under the Three Strike Penalty phase starting right now. I guess will see in the morning who’s serious and who’s had an attitude adjustment. Will see…
Use this stuff, not that cheap crap you find in most auto parts stores. Thoroughly scrape any remaining old adhesive from both surfaces first, and clean with isopropyl alcohol. You’ll never have to do it again, I can almost guarantee.
Take it to a shop. I think that sticking things to glass with adhesives isn’t really a do-it-yourself job. The single most important thing is proper surface preparation. I don’t care how good the adhesive is, if the surfaces aren’t immaculate, it won’t hold.
I hate you because of your lack of commitment. You don’t know how to treat a rearview mirror, and you don’t deserve a rearview mirror like me. How do you think it feels to have you use me so that you can look at Hula girls? You should be looking at me.
If I fall off now and then it’s only because I want a little attention. I want you to treat me the way I deserve. If you did I would be faithful and true.
I am not something to hang toys from. I am a part of your car necessary for your safety and wellbeing. I don’t see you sticking bananas up the tailpipe or putting sugar in the gas tank. Don’t hang things from me.
If you want me to be there for you you need to make a serious effort and show me your commitment. I want you clean my base with acetone. Really clean it. I want you to clean the windshield. I want you to score it in a cross-hatch pattern where I sit with a razor blade. Then I want you to sand it with a coarse sand paper. Then I want you to clean it with acetone.
I want you to stop with the cheap ass repair kits from autozone or Kmart that hang next to the air fresheners. I want you to buy some serious assed epoxy, the kind that takes ten minutes to set and will hold 500 pounds. I want you to follow the directions and mix it. I want you to use it, and stick me to that windshield.
If you do that, I will stay. I will be there for you. I will never leave. Many years from now when your windshield cracks and has to be replaced, you will be forced to replace me as well because you will find that I have bonded inseperably with the windshield and joined it for eternity in my service to you, such will be my faithfullness.
But first you have to treat me like a lady.
I’ve done it, with the adhesive I linked to above, with no failures that I know of yet. I agree that surface preparation and cleanliness is the key. Apply the adhesive and mount the mirror immediately after the alcohol has dried. Dust settles quickly.