Ode to the Cat that keeps pooping in my flowerbox

I hate you, cat.

I do not know which one you are
I hate you all the same.
You make my mornings miserable
Is this some kind of game?

A morning gift you leave for me
It brings me much surprise.
Most other cats will bury shit,
but you’re attracting flies!

I’ve got a plan to deal with you,
I’ll do some work, and then…
We’ll see how much you wail and screech
when shitting on 110.

Thank you.

I hate this cat. I can’t find it, I can’t catch it. I have no idea why it decided, pretty much exactly when I put my house on the market, to start shitting in my flowerbox. I would like to catch it, cut its head off, and stick it on a post in the yard to frighten off any other cats with similar ideas.

If anyone has a home remedy, a way to repel cats aside from buckshot, pease pease lets me know.

[list][list][list][list][list][list]Catnip?
…:rolleyes:…

Maybe you should plant some huge venus flytraps so they can bite it when it comes over.

Eucalyptus oil repels cats. Citrus scents such as lemon or lime repels cats.

**[ul][list][list][list][list][list]and fuck yourself?
[list]…:rolleyes:… [/ul][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list]

**Thanks everyone else!

How big is this flower box? Is it possible to cover it at night? This is probably the only sure way to keep the cat out of it.

You can buy cat repellents at pet stores. They work, but you have to reapply them every day.

Little bits of tinfoil tied to the flowers might repel the cat. A mousetrap? There’s stuff you can buy from the hardware store which is supposed to repel them. Mild electric shock?

Catnip would be useless (but you knew that already ). Even if you did plant it to entice the cat elsewhere, it still would bog away from the catnip.

Great poem, scans real well, serves the rant perfectly, but…

What’s 110?

-Myron the dumbass

Damn, I was hoping that would fly better :slight_smile:

The 110 is the amount of AC voltage I’d like to wire through that damn flowerbox :smiley:

Interesting fact: lemon juice is poisonous to cats. That’s why Muffin’s suggestion is so effective. They stay away from the stuff like the plague.

pan

Apparently the cats using my flower bed were inoculated. :slight_smile:

They just dug and flung the soil around until their spot was apparently free of contamination. I tried soaking the area with an entire bottle (that’ll show 'em whose boss). They tore up the plants in another section and made that the spot.

I tried about a half dozen other “sure cures” without much success. I think many of these simple solutions require a less than dedicated cat, or a very small area to control.

Providing the cats with a bad experience when I could catch them in the act seemed to help. Though the hose would only dissuade them for a couple days (couldn’t catch them at it regularly enough). The final solution: Paintball Gun. Only hit one of the two, but haven’t seen either in over 9 months now. Either it was painful/scary enough, or the mess of red paint convinced the woman across the street who let these cats roam at night that it might be a good idea to keep them in the house.

If the flowerbox isn’t too big, you could try making a chicken wire cover for it. that way, the plants could still get sun and water, and the cat’s couldn’t do their business.

Part of the problem may be that they can smell their previous offerings, and therefore recognize your flowerbox as a bathroom they’re comfortable with. Vinegar supposedly masks the smell from the kitties. (at least it’s supposed to on carpet. Let’s just hope that doesn’t become a problem.)

Hey, finger nail polish remover always makes my kitties run away!

Anyways, good luck with the cats.