Of course God exists--And I can prove it.

To exist is to be in this life. I exist because I’m here now.

The Holy Spirit is what impregnated Mary.

And as we all know, the holy spirit is a dove. So God stuffed a dove into a teenage girl’s vagina and bam, messiah.

As I understood it the dove was just a symbol, and like Isis took the form of a dove ,hovered over Osiris, and conceived Horus. I have wondered why the NT said Mary conceived of the Holy Spirit and I was always under the impression that the father was also a spirit

. As I understand it God the Father was invisible, and it brought to mind how God could show Moses his back side, if he were not of a material of some kind!

Didn’t I see that act in Vegas?

That one has bothered me for years. God has “hind parts?”

I know someone who supposes God to be a Dragon. This explains the column of smoke by day, the column of fire by night, and why the sacrifices are to be of the good parts of animals, and how he should always be greeted by the scent of burning meat. And little things like Psalm 18: “There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.”

A Dragon, sure as anything. And his “hind parts” must have been his enormous saurian tail.

When the Dragon died…because they aren’t immortal, simply long-lived, they kept his skull in the Ark of the Covenant.

Makes as much sense as any other interpretation, but takes the cake re coolness factor. Where do I sign?

IIRC, this dissertation about the concept of “divine wrath” in Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, deals in part with the idea of God as a pissed-off dragon, or else some kind of (very) angry animal. Lots of snarling, lots of roaring, fire-breathing, smoke coming forth from the nostrils, an all-devouring maw, etc… All quite metal.

Nuts to Mohammed; this is the movie we should be making!