Though unfair and conceding the fact that society at large has added yet another -ism (read: heightism) to the ever growing list, you can’t deny certain men suffer from a Napoleonic Complex.
Providing examples of height prejutice doesn’t negate the fact some guys do have a Napoleonic Complex. My guess is the examples you provided probably reniforces the existance of such. Maybe certain mental health theories have changed, but I was always taught Napoleonic Complex was a personality disorder - in the same vein as; paranoia, self-destructive complexes, megalomania & anti-social disorders.
My current SO is almost exactly my hight - myybe just a fraction of an inch taller. If I wear tall-ish shoes or clunky shoes then there’s a definitely noticible height difference. Sometimes I give him crap about it but honestly I don’t care. I’m 5’8 and just about even height with most guys. Now if the guy was, say, 4 or 5 inches shorter then me, I dunno if I could do that. I’d feel like a towering giant, and I’d probably end up hunching down, no doubt causing even more back problems that I don’t really need.
I intended the first paragraph of my response to be in response to the Napoleonic Complex issue and the rest in reference to previous postings. I could have made that clearer I suppose.
The thing is that the term “Napoleonic Complex” is not a scientific, psychological term. It is merely a popular expression that people cruelly toss around. It’s on about the same level as saying “I got jewed by the bank.” People recognize what that means, but that doesn’t make it right.
And for what it’s worth, Napoleon himself wasn’t really short. He was 5’6” which was pretty average for a man born in the 1700’s as far as I can tell. True, people in positions of power tended to be taller (Washington, Jefferson), but no one would have been stunned by the sight of Napoleon. The whole thing about him being such a tiny guy (I’ve even seen him portrayed as a dwarf) is a myth that seems to have become prevalent after his death.
Reading the the quote about asking children to do word assocation makes me wonder if it isn’t from the things we tell our children to make them eat. I try to get my son to drink milk and eat healthy so he can be as big and strong as his dad someday. I don’t think I am alone in telling my son stuff like that. I wonder if we, when we are grown, are subconsciously doing the math in our heads that the shorter men must be less healthy or else they would have grown more? Eek. Consciously of course we know that height is hereditary and short has nothing to do with health, but subconsciously, are the words of our parents haunting us?
If that were true, though, all men would want tall women, too.
For the record, female, 5’7", husband 6’2" - have dated men anywhere from 5’5" to 6’5", but generally prefer taller than me so I don’t feel like I am bigger than he is - the issue as stated by MaddyStrut. I think of when I was pregnant. I may be able to protect myself when I am not pregnant, but carrying a nearly full term baby, it is nice to know you have a husband who could carry you into the hospital or otherwise protect you at least as well as you could do so yourself.
I’ve never really had a height requirement, per se. I’m 5’11" in heels (which I always wear) so I would have limited my slection quite a bit.
Generally the guy has to weigh more than I do though. I don’t mind if a fella is shorter, as long as he’s sort of stocky so I don’t feel like a hulking behemoth.
Finally, I’d just like to give my props to susanann for this gem:
[quote]
Todays women are taller than a generation ago, so finding a husband is a lot harder today.**
Glad to see she’s still posting total non sequitors in the new year.
I’m 5’3" (but not even close to done growing, thank god). I think the Napoleonic Complex is pseudo-scientific bullshit. Basically, people grow up seeing taller people as people in authoritative positions, so the taller you are, the more intimidating you are. When short people are gasp assertive, assholes make up myths about a complex.
Looking at Captain Lance Murdoch’s links to studies up there, it seems that there’s only one thing that will trump a a lack of height: a lack of a prison record. Though I wonder what the women in the first study would have said if the researcher had, instead of coming up with successful careers for the short men, listed winning personalities (smart, funny) for the short guys and losing personalities for the taller ones (boring, unintelligent). That link didn’t work for me but searching ABCNews.com yielded a hit on Yahoo for this article: Tall men are height of attraction for women, study finds
Which shows the same results as Captain Lance Murdoch’s ABCNews link. I wonder if any studies have been done with the genders reversed (guys choosing among short and tall women)?
No mention of women feeling like a hulking behemoth next to a short guy, a stance that has been supported in this thread by several people.
So I’m wondering, is this thread the gender opposite of the What is it with men and breasts thread? For women, does a man’s height subconciously equate to his reproductive and providing potential, as it has been suggested for men and large breasts subconciously equating to health and motherhood potential?
(Nitpick)
I’m 5’7, 5’8 depending on the slouch, and my S.O. Is 5 '10 ish and has a little weight over me. I can confidently say that not only am I at least twice as strong as she is, I could EASILY carry her up a flight of stairs etc. Even a man who is considerably smaller than you is probably going to have a lot more muscle mass than you.
I think the whole phemonenon is cultural. We train women from the time that they are little to be pretty can concerened with their body image. Also We train them to need the help of a male for protection “Big strong man”. :rolleyes: Likewise we train MEN to be the “Biggest and the Best” that they can be. This leads to a WORLD of insecurity on the part of most men. The big guys have it easy in the formative years because they have met that idiotic requirement by virtue of genetics. Thus Bigger men= more confidence= more dates.
I like to propose that there is a condition I like to call “Aplha Male Confidence Factor” (AMCF). I have rarely if ever let ANYONE intimidate me, irrespective of their height, social status etc. I walk with confidence and I’ve noticed that people give me the same berth as they do the really big guys. Any male can be a “Big Man/ Alpha” If you notice there are a lot of larger men, who have poor self image and people walk all over them. Likewise, Short men who have had a rough time of growing up being told that they are inferior due to their height also lack confidence. I propose that is this overwhelming lack of confidence that makes the Short men so unappealing to the ladies.
The women, having been trained since they were small to place their trust in a big confident man, won’t even consider the short men an option because they have probably only encountered those with a terrible self image. Taller men will have a disproportionetly large amount of men with AMCF. Short men will have a high rate of lacking AMCF.
My S.O> has told me on many occasions that she finds that crucial confidence (And thus her need for security met) Espescially attractive.
Exactly. And can I say, my SO is 2" shorter than me, but can still pin me everytime when we wrestle. He can also throw me over his shoulder and run up the stairs with me.
Also if any of you short men out there need a confidence booster, spend some time in the asian district of your city. A brief travel to Japan made me feel tall and distinctly LARGE. Everything was smaller and for the first time I had to buy a 2x shirt to fit me properly, (usually take a large). It’s only in america that men under 5’9 are considered short. Most everywhere else you are avarage.
I’m a 5’7" woman, and I would NOT reject an otherwise compatible guy for being shorter than me.
I tend to sympathize with the short guys, I guess, because I have encountered similar prejudice/rejection as a fat chick - except that I’ve had the good fortune of being able to lose some weight, whereas the short guys obviously can’t do much about their “problem”.
I’m more of a comfy sneakers type, but even if I did wear heels, it wouldn’t bother me if that made me taller than my guy. While there is something nice about FEELING LIKE your guy is big and strong enough to protect you, I think that’s a false sense of security. I figure that if it really came down to fighting an attacker, you’re probably safer with a short guy who can shoot a gun well than a big burly guy fighting with his bare hands.
