of Trash Pandas, Nope Ropes and the like

I don’t think it’s worked its way into that meme yet, but I fully support renaming the Canada Goose “cobra chicken.”

and this is the perfect image for it.

Not animal related, but the current joke with the little Torqueling and me is that there are two instrument types: flutes (which she plays) and trumpets.

French horns are bendy trumpets.
Trombones are slide trumpets.
Clarinets are wood trumpets.
Violins are string trumpets.
Drums are bang trumpets.

Dogs are doggos now, or goob bois. They have frens (not friends). They’re heckin’ cute. If you trick them you do a bamboozle.

I could go on. Instead I’m off to look at doggos.

In honor of our suburban gray deer infestation, boosted by both uncontrolled sprawl and our liberal use of greenbelts to collect water runoff, I’ve taken to calling them Greenbelt Rats.

But, holy hell, they’re everywhere!

Animals of the World t-shirt. Including the formal chicken (penguin), and the murder log (alligator).

Camel = Sand Moose

Here in Minnesota, Canadian geese are referred to as “gray ducks”, usually when somebody bags one by mistake during duck season.

In fact, virtually any animal can be a doggo, just by adding an adjective.

Otter? Water doggo.
Bunny? Hoppy doggo.
Horse? Big doggo.
Iguana? Scale doggo.

Pretty much anything that’s neither hostile, nor actually a dog - weird doggo.

I call deer, big rats with hooves.

llama = giraffe sheep

I’ve heard ferret owners call them limousine cats. Sounds cooler.

I just pissed my pants a-laughin’.

I’ve heard carpet sharks.

Also, furry slinkies, but that might be idiosyncratic.

I apologize in advance for lowering the tone.

Seagull - Shitehawk
Dog - Shit machine

One in, one out, as it were.

Pleasingly, shite-hawk has a wikipedia entry

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shite-hawk

j

Tree = ground boner

Or All-Day Wood.

On twitter, SUE the T. Rex calls herself a murderpigeon.

Platypus - duck puppy
Kangaroo - tyrannosaurus deer
Ostrich - giraffe bird

These are all so cute. I had no idea this was a “thing”. I did hear a dj on the radio refer to a woman’t nether regions as her “prison pocket” due to the drugs she smuggled into the jail. Definitely not the same ring as “majestic sea flap flap”.

A few more good ones here: