offending without profanity

Okay, you asked for my opinion, here it is.
I believe that it should be not only legal but required by law that our children take dangerous narcotics while burning flags in churches and being taught evolution. I further believe that homosexuals are God’s chosen people and that the elderly should be allowed to drive only if they are drunk. It will be entirely up to me to decide who gets abortions and who doesn’t. I believe that pro wrestlers are the only respectable athletes. I will smoke manure cigars in the restaurants you eat in. If you are there with your families, I will get up on the table and sodomize a blow-up doll that looks like Jesus.

Don’t forget about talking loudly while breastfeeding your infant at the movies

Omigosh, TennHippie is actually Lyndon Larouche!

Now just hold on there, bub. You ganna take those shoes off before you get up on the table?

Talking loudly while breastfeeding YOUR infant, you mean. Also, all new scientific theories must be “Scripture-Friendly.” Our presidential candidates shall be chosen at random from high-security prisons. Jehova’s Witnesses and Satanists alike shall be allowed into your home at any hour. Product testing shall be done only on YOUR pets.

Required classes at public schools shall include Ebonics, Zionism, and Practical Panhandling. All felons and mental patients shall be released and issued firearms and hate propaganda, at taxpayer expense.

Don’t stop now, TH! You’re earning MY vote!


::applause, applause:: ::whistle, cheer::

Whoo hoo! More, MOre!!

I’ve been doing all of that for YEARS TH, are you saying that I’m WRONG! I will have to use my power to kill at will on you. Also, bestiality and incest are the only correct forms of sexual expression. Everyone should not only drive drunk but do it at 90 in the left lane. UFOs are real it’s NASA that’s fake. Picking your nose in public is mandatory and all women will have breast implants that make them look like they are packing hot air balloons in their blouses. All men will have their penises (peni?) cut to the standard 4 inches and only those with an IQ below 50 can have children. We will have one religion, the Book of Me (Firesign Theater gets a nod) and ARG220 shall dictate this book as he sees fit. And, oh yeah, nuke the gay baby whales for Jesus.

And before a shit storm starts: I was just poking a little fun at ARG220 – I hope he knows I’m just kidding.


Truly inspired and hilarious…I was on the frickin’ floor!

A trailer park next to every exclusive gated community and everyone with an income over $70,000 will be assigned a best friend named either Merle or Edna that you must talk to and socialize with at least one hour a day in a public place.

Nuke a gay whale for Buddha!

Thanks for cracking me up…Made up for getting pissed off elsewhere…loved it!!

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

You don’t have a vote Ike,Tenn will determine who is fit to run this country.

Sorry, folks. The Jerry Springer audience shall decide all matters of importance. To quote from The Simpsons(see related thread):
“There’s no justice like angry mob justice!”
Also, the principal form of entertainment shall be mimes.

Mimes? Oh my God! You are EVIL! I bow before you and ask forgiveness for all I have posted to this thread. You truly do know the height of offensiveness! I prostrate myself before you (I’m no virgin but I think in a pinch I could fake it) and beg you your holy pardon! Please, please oh righteous one, give your blessing to this lowly peon who crawls to kiss your feet! I bow eternally before you.

Welllll…okay. You get to choose between balloon artists and ventriloquists.

TH I cannot choose. I’ve been shut down in other treads so apparently I’m treading lightly here. What would YOU suggest I do? I haven’t been here long but I guess I’m getting to be a pisser. Or God forbid a TROLL!

The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

Klinefelters will be the only people allowed to reproduce and only with each other.

The required punishment for all fundamentalists will be to be precision-dropped onto large phallic prostheses, and all Pentagon members will have explosives strapped to their bodies and be required to jump out bombers onto Iraq, like that guy in “Dr. Strangelove”.