Wow.
That was actually pretty restrained when it comes to msmith and his opinions about women.
I have to agree with everyone here; you teach people how you expect them to treat you, and your girlfriend needs to show a little more respect for you, HSHP. There is a stereotype that all women do what your gf is doing (i.e. telling you to go, then getting mad when you actually go), but real women don’t pull that shit. Spoiled little girls do, however.
For the record, it sounds funny to me when you talk about going to Canada. Any specific part, or just Canada in general?
See msmith’s post regarding the stereotypes I mentioned about women. :rolleyes:
Run, for fuck’s sake! What’s the question? She’s manipulative, she’s clingy and needy… she’s manipulative.
I didn’t even need to finish your OP (I did anyway); as soon as I got to the part about her offering to let you go to Canada instead of Sheila’s wedding, the bells in my head started clanging so loud my dog started barking and I said to myself, “Ooh, a test! I hope he studied.”
RUN. RUN. RUN.
Not a lot, though. I still don’t see why girlfriend can’t come to his house, leave her car there, and then he drive the car up. So he doesn’t have to do quite as much driving.
On the whole, I don’t get it. I’d not ask my boyfriend to drive 1100 + miles in a weekend for someone else’s wedding. I simply wouldn’t, ever. I might ask him to drive a long way to come and see me, not go elsewhere and spend time with other people.
I don’t get this either:
One of her “closest friend’s” wedding and she doesn’t like anyone there? Color me :dubious:
The whole thing sounds manipulative. Give up your entire weekend, sit your ass in a car for three days, take off time from work, and go to a wedding of someone you don’t even know. And I’ll let you go to your trip. Oh, wait, but I actually won’t, I’ll guilt you into not going.
Nothing to add as largely agree with the things people posted so far. But this:
So. You’re dating a JAP. How’s that working out for you? 
And if EVERY man said shit like that, my knuckles would be reduced to a bloody pulp by now.
All I can say is, I’m glad I don’t live in your world. That’s just sad.
An attitude like that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because if you come near an independent woman with a suitcase like that, she’ll send you right back out to the train station to catch the next ride heading out of town. I know I would.
Dump her.
Yes. EVERY woman is exactly the same. We’re all out to change you, as we are all clingy and desperate. :rolleyes: Moron.
AngelicGemma, personal insults are not allowed outside of the Pit. Please don’t do it again.
Speaking as a female, that is exactly the way to handle it. Every person is allowed to have a life and friends of their own, even dating/committed/married ones. If this buddy weekend is a tradition, go to the buddy weekend. Shiela is her friend, and is the shorter of relationships, and this is the last chance for this type of buddy weekend since after you get out of school, the group of buddies will have undergone a change, new jobs [possibly scattered across the country] and this buddy weekend tradition will need closure. Last year you all made plans to do it again this year. The plans are older than the wedding invite. Those plans have dated precedence.
She will have to learn that even if you both are in a relationship, you each have your own circle of pre-existing friends and committments/traditions and if there isnt to be a whole heap of resentment going on, then accommodations have to be made. I would be willing to bet that if you suggested she give up a girls traditional weekend to go a barely-known friend of yours’ wedding, she would get all bent out of shape. I know my brothers exwife #1 made me fly back from washington dc 1 day early and miss a seminar to go to the freaking wedding rehersal, and when my brother suggested that they move the rehersal and dinner to sunday evening [when I would be home normally] she got bent because it was her monthly girly movie thang…and she made me wear a peptobismal pink flowered organza mostrosity of a bridesmaid gown, and she made this little blond who would have looked perfect in it wear a pale moss green that made her look like something out of night of the living dead…when switiching the dress colors would have changed absolutely nothing about the wedding arrangements, and made 2 of her birdesmaids way happier to be standing up in a church for a 2 hour freaking wierdass fundie of some fruitflavor of the month ceremony full of nonsense fire and brimstone go to hell for ever no matter what sermonizing.
Did I mention I absolutely HATED Janice for the entire time Dan had been dating her? Only GF of his I actually had any form of dislike for in the slightest, I have absolutely no idea what he saw in her. All his others were better looking, had good jobs and were sweethearts…
OK, fine, msmith’s comments are hereby given consideration commensurate with his background.
End hijack.
I need help on how exactly to phrase my conversation with her that is basically going to say, “I am going to Canada, in keeping with my plans and your suggestion, and, while I appreciate that Sheila’s wedding is important to you, I also appreciate that, at one point, you recognized the importance of Canada to me and I expect you to remember that when deciding whether or not to keep picking at this subject with me.”
L-bomb?
Let me guess. Leash, right?
I say go to the June 3rd wedding in Montreal and start hitting on the single gals there. Arrange your own transportation back to NYC and let current girlfriend drive back to Boston alone. (aka being a bigger jerk than her). Better yet, just don’t go to Montreal at all, and don’t go to Boston either.
Keep everything before the italics, and insert the word “now” instead.
Frag. Everything prior to “…when deciding whether or not to keep picking at this subject with me.”
:rolleyes:
My old Yiddish gramma had a saying: “Nobody can walk all over you unless you lie down for them first.”
As for the OP, you have to put your foot down. Personally, I’d break up with a girl like that, but it’s your choice of course… hell, screw that noise
[advice]Break up with her. Do it now. She doesn’t respect your personal space, she doesn’t respect your individuality, and she uses unfair ‘fighting’ tactics in order to manipulate you and get what she wants. Chances are, things will get a whole lot worse before they get better. [/advice]
How about…
“I’m going to Canada, it’s a tradition and this is going to be my last chance. You already agreed to this, and quite frankly I don’t need your permission to go visit my friends in any case. I would’ve loved to go to the wedding with you, but as it conflicts with my long standing tradition, and as this friend isn’t someone I really know anyways, I’m going to Canada.”
Don’t take any guff from those swine! 