I know plenty of people who have dated or even married coworkers, including my younger brother.
How many people is your brother married to?
Very true. So many people (also on the Dope) feel guilt over leaving jobs, some even stay when they might have done better elsewhere and then feel betrayed when their job gets outsourced to India.
Happy employees are good for the company, so they will try and keep you happy and loyal with team days and donuts and Christmas dos and things, but if they can find someone in another country or a machine that can do your job more cheaply than you, they will. Don’t ever forget this.
I married a co-worker, too. (Didn’t go well for me, though.) Many people in the department I work for do, but it can get pretty ugly. The place I work borders on being incestuous, there’s so much spouse swapping going on here.
I just think it’s a good overall policy, not necessarily a Golden Rule.
Besides, there’s a difference between dating with intent and just screwing around with the office hotties.
People should never feel guilty about leaving a job. But it’s not like escaping from a slave plantation either. Some people actually like their work and their coworkers and it’s natural to not only miss that but also to have a bit of a sense of aprehension about starting a new job in a new environment with new people. Devil you know and all that.
True, but if someone wants to move then they can make sure someone else gets trained. From a management standpoint, my suggestion is a bad, bad thing - not because of making it easier to lay people off, but because of the getting run over by a bus problem.
A major thing to be aware of in office politics is that sometimes your goals are aligned with your department’s/companies goals, and sometimes they are not. It is better when they are, but in this era of owning your own career, sometimes you need to make sure you keep up your skills even when they aren’t directly useful. If you can make the things good for you also good for the company, it is even better.
This was really my point. Bitching is not productive, however being a Pollyanna isn’t either. I was in a big project which was seriously late and definitely not going to make the next milestone. Let’s just say that senior management not acknowledging this for a few months did not improve morale or productivity. Real solutions begin with facing reality.
On the other hand, pessimism isn’t reality. A guy who worked for me was so convinced our center was going to close that he transferred to a project which looked really great. I was positive, but he didn’t believe me. Our center went chugging along for another decade, and the new project turned out to be build on a pack of lies and unrealistic revenue forecasts.
Hanlon’s Razorapplies, and so does it’s corollary:
“Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by miscommunication.”
I’ve found that beyond the usual glad-handing and face-time that is so necessary, it’s a good idea to assume that if something seems malicious, strange or just plain dumb, that I probably don’t know all the facts.
That being said, you’ll definitely see some spectacularly stupid decisions be made.
The only other thing I can think of is beware of regime changes. Sometimes the best job in your life may turn into one of the worst because your old bosses and supervisors leave/get fired, and the new folks don’t like you or don’t know what you’re capable of, and don’t care to learn.
My second worst boss was actually named Dick. 
I assume you have had to lay people off. Now, when whole projects get shut down, my advice is not going to help, probably, but if you had to choose among a group of people with more or less equal performance, did you choose to get rid of one of four people doing more or less the same job or a person who was the only person doing another job. Both jobs are assumed to be critical, or else the answer is simple.
Up until the point when the regime changes and the new people have no idea of what he actually did so well, and think he should do something else that he’s not nearly so well suited for, and enjoys about half as much as what he used to do.
(yes, I’m speaking from experience)
That’s a really good point, bump. Unfortunately, it can be really hard to tell the difference between maliciousness and miscommunication. I usually assume miscommunication and try to get clarification at first, too, but once I see a pattern, all bets are off. At my last job, I’m still not sure how much of the stupid things that went on were malicious and how much was pure incompetence.
God, the corollary to this is “don’t share friends or acquaintances in common with your new boss or coworkers until you consult your friend first.” You never know on what terms they were familiar with each other.
Long story short, a boss I had at an internship had gone to grad school in the department where my boyfriend’s mother teachers. Rather than going to boyfriend’s mother and asking “hey, what was Sally* like back then”, I said “Hey Sally, my boyfriend’s mom must know you! :D” Sally was well known for…an epic, public expletive laced fight in graduate school over a man. And shortly thereafter, she left the phD program with a consolation master’s. :smack:
*not her real name.
10% of the people do 90% of the work. The rest just go to the bathroom, attend meetings, get coffee, chat, surf the Internet, etc. If you aren’t in a position to change that, you gotta live with it.
I usually stay out of these threads because they devolve into cynicism so quickly, but here goes. All that follows is IMHO. Caveat lector.
Adjust your filter. I mean that in the most positive way. If you seek dickheads at the office, you will find them. If you seek well-intentioned people with differing agendas from yours, you will find them, too.
In large organizations this taboo does not hold. In small offices it could make life miserable for everyone. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for this one.
See above note re: cynicism. If you are in an adversarial relationship with your employer, you are doing both parties a disservice. Why purposely stay in an environment where you don’t trust anyone? This is a job, not a holding cell on Rikers Island.
There are people in your organization who want you to succeed. Find them. Learn from them. Make them proud of you with your achievements.
Maybe. Businesses have to think commercially and competitively or they will perish. But if you create real value for the firm then you enhance commerciality and competitiveness. And people like that can write their own ticket.
Your long-term happiness and productivity cannot be bought with donuts and Christmas parties. Your managers know that. It may be the case that their hands are tied and they can’t give out raises and bonuses the way they would like to, so they are left with the short-term solutions. Imperfect, but better than nothing.
Layoffs are intensely painful. The cynics won’t acknowledge it, but managers agonize over layoff decisions. Again, there is no one-size-fits-all, but in general the decisions break down along the lines of need, merit, and seniority (with a thousand exceptions). To your example, if Bob thinks I’m going to hang onto him solely because he’s the only one who knows how to operate the gonkulator, he’s got another thing coming.
We’re far afield from the OP. In re: the OP - I will expand my original advice regarding office politics:
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Don’t be a dick.
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Be positive instead of cynical. Positive people attract success. (I know that sounds New Agey and BS, but who would you rather spend time with - whiners or winners?)
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In any large organization there are three kinds of people: the ones who like/respect you, the ones who will never like/respect you, and the undecided ones. The first group are already in your corner, so you don’t need to work on them much. The second group probably won’t ever be in your corner, so be cordial to them but don’t spend any more time on them than necessary. Focus your energy on the undecided group and convert them into supporters of you.
I know. I’ve done them.
The only good thing about them is that they let you get rid of people with performance problems without stigma, and without going through having to do performance improvement plans for them. But many people who were not even close to being dicks have been laid off. Seniority has never been a factor for us (besides not wanting to run into age discrimination issues) but merit is, to some extent, and need definitely is. Maybe you are too high up to feel the direct pain, but losing someone with a unique skill when all the remaining people are running as fast as they can to keep up with a bigger workload and don’t have time to learn a new skill is not fun for a manager. I always thought about succession planning, but lots of managers don’t especially when you are understaffed.
The best example I know of high level not giving a shit was during the AT&T trivestiture. Bob Allen wanted to get the part which became Lucent small enough to do an IPO, and offered a package so attractive that my center lost about 25% of its staff, including entire management chains. (And including me.) It was pure chaos for some time afterwards, and those few people considered so valuable that they weren’t eligible to leave with a package did so anyway, but they got headcount down. A rare example of how worker and top manager goals were aligned at the expense of middle manager goals.
I keep my hard-earned cynicism to myself at work, and am unfailingly polite, helpful, and cheerful. I also protect myself and keep my ass covered at all times. 
Last time when I was in PR, I made good friends with the switchboard operating for the local media giant. Yes they would recognise my voice, and yes they would help me contact the person I wanted to speak to.
All it took was a “hello” and a “thankyou” everytime I called.
Same for when I was in sales - I swear I got through to so many more relevant people by being nice to the admins.
True enough. But in my industry - Big 4 professional services firms / boutique management consulting firms mostly comprised of ex-Big 4 alum the billable hours up-or-out nature of these organization pretty much guarantees dickish behavior.
I would rather spend time with people who can realistically assess a situation and figure out ways to move forward. Whiners and malcontents are bad because they just bitch without ever doing anything to improve their situation. Pollyannas can be just as bad however, as they force their people to live in a fantasy world.
No manager ever thinks HE’S the Pointy Haired Boss.
A shoddily-done job makes more progress than an iron-clad excuse.
But an iron-clad excuse looks way, way better than a shoddily-done job. Provided you don’t use them too often. Provided it’s actually iron-clad.
An 80% solution now is better than a 100% never…until someone gets upset about the other 20%.