Og pondered the Good ones

In My Humble Opinion
1

Occasionally I read my past posts and have to wonder, “Does what I express in my posts really reflect me?”

I wonder because I have this nagging feeling that the IRL me is a trifle different from what I present in postings. I suppose it’s a feeling that, not being a master of the written word, I somehow come off a bit different than the person I mean to be in my expressions in prose.

How about the rest of you? While we do have some skilled writers at hand (Scylla and Eve come to mind), most of us are average joes.

Since arriving here, I’ve come to feel somewhat limited by my language skills. Or challenged. Depends on your take, I guess.

But I’d suppose what I’m really asking is to what degree you feel this medium, textually constrained as it is, somehow skews the picture of yourself that you present?

2

Hmm. On first thought, I would have said that I don’t think so. I’ve been writing comment and opinions now for around 20 years. First thought would have said: “Are you nuts? I’m me!”

But … yes. Text communication presents a different slant on things. When I started out as a bit of a battleaxe liberal in the national papers here, I came across, to my chagrin and humour combined, as an elderly woman (I was, then, in my 20s).

These days, there have been several times Dopers have mistaken me as male. Before I put up my location, I came across, so it seems, as anything but a New Zealander.

Text doesn’t seem to reflect who I really am. At least, not completely – even without me consciously setting out to create a persona for the online environment.

3

I’m not sure how my writing makes me “appear,” but I to tend to type exactly how I speak.

As opped to just seeing the words and knowing who you are “talking” to, most of my friends have told me it’s weird when we are on instant message or some such because they can actually hear me saying the words in their heards.

'Course, that’s only as it should be. I’d be in everyone’s head if I could.

:wink:

4

I’m so super glad that I am sub medicore.

If I used big, fancy words… I’d probably get bored reading most things, and miss out on sub medicore fabulous posts such as my own.

5

I agree. My posts tend to be more pithy than my real life conversations. Also, posting kind of paints you in more of a corner, to me, anyway. In conversation, I can make outrageous statements and the person I’m talking to can see I’m just making an outrageous statement, and we carry on. But posting an outrageous statement becomes a tangible ligtning rod with no conversational context, so it’s left to the interpretation of the reader, who doesn’t know me.

See, I can’t even explain why I can’t explain what I can’t explain!:smack:

6

I would write how I would normally speak, but I really can’t spell!

7

I’ve always felt that I come off stupider through my writing. For some reason I can’t express my thoughts through writing as well through speech.

8

Well, Ringo, from my observations IRL you’re a drunk Texan, which is not quite what you give off on the boards. :wink:
Seriously, though. I think my on-line personality is relatively representative of my real life personality, though I feel a bit more eloquent in real life.

9

I HATE the way I come across here. IRL I’m relaxed, funny, spontaneous, a little boisterous.

Here, I sound like a school marm. I’ve read some of my old posts and thought they sounded pretty self-righteous. That’s not me at all!

Like Amp, I don’t feel that I express myself well, in writing. I try so hard to make sure I don’t sound stupid that I end up sounding stilted.

(fixed bolding tag–Veb)

10

I’m a soft-spoken person. I feel like I’m shouting. Most people would say that size=1 is me, vocally.

I’m often sarcastic. I don’t think that comes through at all. So, I’m reduced to using emoticons, especially when addressing particular people. It’s like drawing big hearts in letters - it doesn’t feel like me but I don’t know how else to espress some emotions.

Worse yet, I censor myself much more here than I do in real life. I’m not one that needs to give an opinion on everything that comes down the turnpike, yet I find myself not giving ANY opinion. I am such a coward.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m tired or stressed (big meeting next week), but I’ve been thinking of this question all day now since I first read it, and I don’t think I’m all that happy about the me that is brachy. I suppose most posters go through something like this at some point in their posting career, though.

11

I’d imagine most doper folks IRL would be very surprised after carrying on a conversation with me to discover who I was on the boards. Maybe on some serious issues and such but I’m much more reserved in person than here on the boards. I certainly am influenced in part by the security anonomity affords here.

With regard to your own perception Ringo, as funny as you are one the boards, you had me laughing even harder when we talked in person.

12

I’d definitely say that that I don’t come across here the way I do IRL. I learned to write formally, and so I write formally here, even though that’s not the way I talk. I also rely a lot on non-verbal communication, to the point where I often find it difficult to post anything other than a statement of fact for fear of it being misinterpreted.

13

I write more or less the same as I speak, but with less stuttering. On the other hand, I’m not sure whether or not anyone knows me as a poster with a distinct personality through my many pointless posts here on the boards - but if so, I doubt that perception has much to do with my “real life” persona. In face-to-face interaction, I don’t express nearly as much of my “grammar nazism,” for one thing!

14

I’d say in text my character is very skewed. IRL I’m pretty well rounded but on-line I avoid discussing large chunks of stuff.

Another problem I’ve noticed is I tend to type how I think, not how I speak. What that leads to is me posting things which don’t make sense unless you’ve been in my brain and know how I was thinking about it. When I speak to people IRL I only do so in consideration of what the other person knows. Meaning there are many times where my posts sounds fine when I preview it but it becomes apparant later that it’s really incoherent.

15

Ringo, I did some soul searching after reading your OP, and like Ice Wolf (who I was absolutely certain was a male in his late 20s or so), at first I thought that I was not skewed by presenting myself textually, but upon further thought, I suppose that people are really constrained textually.

However, not only does this not bother me, but I am in fact quite glad that I come across differently in text than in real life. I hope that I generally come across as more kind and reasonable in my writing than I do in real life (which isn’t to say that I’m a paragon of kindness or moderation, just that I’m a hot-tempered jerk IRL at times), which I find to be a real bonus.

16

I am quite convinced I come off a lot better online than I do IRL. Here, I can think a little bit about my responses, consider their effects on my interlocutors, and generally come off as articulate, amusing, even suave. IRL, I am a big surly-looking tongue-tied slob, and look it - no one would expect me to come up with anything more sparkling than “Hand over your wallet.”

17

Ice Wolf, I enjoy your communiqués[sup]*[/sup] and, while I could hardly be described as liberal, they are well written; I think perhaps you see what I mean.

And it has little (not nothing) to do with gender perception. While I’ve been unable to say with regard to others, I’ve always percieved you as female.

Gorgon Heap and Eonwe (I’m going to have to take your IRL observations under special advisement) seem to be hummin’ along just fine…

But I take special note of both brachy and lel’s comments, echoed to a large degree by lieu, Sunglasses, racinchikki and ultrafilter, that seem to impart the feeling that we don’t quite paint a true picture of ourselves here in this medium - and that is without any intent to decieve. I don’t really have a feel for Sunglasses, but I do have some kind of picture of the rest of you.
It’s just as incomplete as y’alls’ picture of me.

And finally, Steve Wright checks in to say he comes off better on the board than in real life? That’s not really what I meant, but a part of it nevertheless, I suppose.

[sup]*[/sup] or commentary, perhaps?

18

ultrafilter, Yes!! I learned to write technical papers and reports. So, while I have some sort of tenuous grasp of basic expressive skills, I often fall short of what I see later in the day as a better expression of my thoughts.

Real time’ll screw you quicker than a journal deadline.

One thing I have noted is that my postings here have, with time, generally adopted a more conversational tone than that I previously expressed myself with in technical papers.

19

I feel that my postings here match my RL character fairly well. I generally post the way I speak. (You can, if fact, hear parentheses in my voice when I’m talking.) The main difference is that I often make a deliberate effort to mark facetiousness and sarcasm in text, while my nonverbal cues are generally clear enough for everyone in RL conversation.

20

For me, IRL I like to argue, but here I never (well, rarely) go into GD, simply because it’s easier to argue/debate IRL. Why? When people debate here, it’s so much easier to be proven wrong and/or look like a jackass. And when you look like a jackass here, there’s a permanent record of it. It’s much easier to shoot first and ask questions later in a RL debate/argument. Here if you’re wrong, you’ve got 15 posters posting 8 links each telling you why you’re a complete moron.

Plus, I’m a journalist. I spend all day researching, writing, interviewing, editing, etc. When I come here, I really don’t feel like doing too much researching, writing, etc. I just like to be entertained and learn a thing or two.

And like ultrafilter said, I learned to write formally, and often times I pore over my posts, trying to make sure they’re “publication-worthy.” Granted I do fire off posts without much thought, but the longer ones I often overscrutinize what I’m writing-- which often doesn’t make for very conversation-style posts.

Plus, here I’ll often write a response to something, then realize I don’t really want to say that, whereas in a RL conversation I might just blurt something out without much thought. Again, it’s because of that whole permanence thing.

So why do I care so much how I come off here? It’s not because anyone here knows me IRL-- hell, I may go my entire life and never meet another Doper f-2-f. I guess it’s just that mama always taught me to make a good impression in every social setting I put mahself intuh. (<----hey, look I wrote in vernacular! It pained me a little, but was at the same time somewhat liberating. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.) :slight_smile:

Happy