Oglaf appreciation thread - very NSFW - hilarious pornographic webcomic

Cafe Society
221

OK, help me out on this one…

[spoiler]Woman Warrior saves the town from bandits.

Townsman is going to pay her for her aid by having sex with her.

Woman Warrior wants gold; not sex with some townie. She wants a hot, voluptuous woman whose head is a bag of gold.

Townie goes behind a tree, and a hot, voluptuous woman whose head is a bag of gold comes out.

Woman Warrior is not amused. She burns the town.

Shape-shifter watches the town burn and wonders if he’ll still be paid.

So. The Shape-shifter contracted to save the town, and then got Woman Warrior to do it. He can’t pay her gold, and tries to pay her by having sex with her. He’s still hoping the townspeople will pay him for saving the town from the bandits, even though Woman Warrior burned it.[/spoiler]
Did I get that right?

222

I took it to mean The townspeople could never meet the woman warrior’s fee, but hoped that for a lesser fee the shapeshifter would take the form of whatever sex partner the warrior would take instead of her fee. She was being sarcastic when she said she wanted a voluptuous woman- with a bag of gold for a head; but the shapeshifters are a rather clueless bunch. Cue Nancy Sinatra’s “I Want Money”.

223

Woman Warrior certainly has a track record of being practical and hard-nosed about what the deal is (remember the Snow Queen? How come none of those villagers ever thought of THAT?)

224

Re. the lastest entry, “Stamen”: talk about a woody… :stuck_out_tongue:

225

Boo

226

I like the concept that for flora, watching a bee crawling into a flower is porn. Hilarious in a nerdy way! As is the mouseover text.

227

Good stuff. I didn’t get “Turnips are awesome” at first, but like the explanations given here.

Favorite recent lines:

“Uh… the town is poor.”
“The town is flammable.”

228

New one’s up.

I think this guy and the “Turnips” dude should hook up.

229

Ooh, I hadn’t noticed that it was the same woman in the “bag of gold head” and “satisfy the Snow Queen” strips. Is she in any others?

230

Is she that barbarian-guy’s son from the ‘Child of Man’ strip? We’ve never seen her without her helmet, have we? She may still bear the pink ribbon of shame.

–
Or, perhaps, now that she’s been acknowledged, she bears the pink ribbon of glory?

231

This week’s made me giggle.

232

Well admittedly if you wanted to enter the castle secretly, than it would make sense that you wouldn’t walk through the main gate.

Anyone notice how the design of the wall made it necessary for anyone scaling it to make a leap at the top?

233

The Barbarian’s son is an extremely ugly little girl. I doubt she could have grown up to look like Mercenary Woman.

234

I don’t think that you can reliably tell if an ugly kid is going to grow up to be an ugly adult or not.

Also, can you imagine how disappointed her father would be, when his son turns out not only to be female, but also a lesbian?

235

Oh, I think that Dad would be happier if his son is a female lesbian. He finds heterosexual females to be abhorrent, after all. And Dad would be delighted if his offspring is a heartless merc, I think.

I’ve also seen some fairly ugly kids grow up to be attractive adults. And some cute kids grow up to be ugly adults, for that matter.

236

I think he finds women abhorrent, full stop. He might be willing to accept one as a son, if she can kill a wolf with her teeth before her first birthday, but a female son who also wants to sleep with women would probably be too much for the guy.

…

This is one of the weirder discussions I’ve had in my life.

237

I think that he finds heterosex more abhorrent than he finds females, so a hetero female would be more abhorrent than a lesbian son.

And if you think this is weird, you haven’t been a mod long enough. Or played enough D&D.

238

Aye, having a female son who is attracted to *women *would be just too much for the man. That would be just more proof that he had offended the gods somehow.

239

Wait… Which one was the ‘Child of Man’ strip?

240

Son of Kronar is the actual title.

Here’s a link.

As to the question of whether she’s Son of Kronar…a lot of that would hinge on the question of ‘do the different storylines proceed at the same speed?’ If they do, she can’t be the Son of Kronar, since not nearly enough time has passed in the other ongoing plots for her to grow up. (On the other hand, did enough time passed in the other plots to get from her apparent conception to her birth? If not, then clearly they’re not at the same speed.)