Oh, baby, that feels soo gooood

Mmm baby, you know I like that.

The phone rings. I pick it up. “Hello?” click “Hello, this is Theresa calling from Summit Research to tell you how to get a free tri…,” “No.” click

Oh man that felt good.


I jusy got a call similar to that,
if i go to a short 90 minute presentation, they will send me on a trip.
would I like to go to Vegas or Reno?
I said Hawaii, and I am not interested in anything you are selling.
I said goobye, she kept talking.

yes, felt good.
I wish I could go to Hawaii!

jusy = just

goobye = GOODBYE!

I usually hang up if I don’t get an immediate response, since you can always tell it’s a telemarketer if there is a 2-3 second delay.

You guys don’t have enough fun with it. Haggle. Insist that the company can afford to knock more of it and include more. Get outrageous. Ask fot technological add-ons you know don’t exist. Ask the poor person if the product can be applied in a unique way (make something up - the more embarrassing the better).

Just never say yes to anything.
As for religious people knocking on our door… well at our house it’s a race to get there first to play with them.

Weren’t you just bitching because people hang up on you, Homer?

Anyway, yeah those telemarketers just don’t get the point when you politely tell them no. They just talk and talk and talk…

“But have you considered this?”

Shut up already! I don’t want your crap! Yes, crap. I don’t want it. I tried to be nice but you won’t listen.

“Ma’am, I believe that our product-”

Hey, didn’t you hear me? I said I don’t want the damn thing.

“This product is extremely innovative. If I could just have a minute of your time…”

A minute? Haven’t I already wasted 3 minutes listening to this pointless drivel? click

YOu don’t even say NO. Just simply sayt,
“Please take me off of your calling list.”

Ask for their number, tell them you’ll call THEM when it’s more convenient for YOU.

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/brainingdamage come for the fish, stay for the fun

I just got that good feeling when the Census bureau came by to ask me about my health. I talked through the window, rather than answer the door. She said the survey would only take an hour, would ask VERY personal health questions (e.g. have you ever been tested for STD’s), and although it was “Guaranteed” to be kept private, my name would be on government file for the rest of my life “for follow ups”.

She wouldn’t take NO for an answer.
Finally she said, “Just one question, then: are you Black or Asian?”
I’m a blond Norseman and look it.

I just shut the window and made cupping-my-ear gestures until she went away. Sweet.

I usually listen for a while if I have time. It must be very hard for them to call the ‘hostile masses’. And, its their job…maybe they’re single parents, who knows?

Of course, I don’t get telemarketers very often. And I never buy anything. :smiley:

Just set the phone down and see how long they keep talking to themselves. I had one go almost 4 minutes before I heard the click of the disconnect.

Although they do infuriate me, I think many of you would not be surprised to find that I almost always politely say:

“Thank you very much, but we’re not interested. Please have a nice day, and good luck.”

I really don’t have a problem with repeat calls either, so maybe I just am lucky. To each their own.

I can do a very good Pakistani/Indian accent, and I used it one time on a student loan collector.

Them: “Mr. Rysdad, you’re several months delinquent on your student loan.”

Me: “Oh, no, no. You are to be much mistaken. The accountant must always be paying this.”

Them: “We haven’t received any payments since your April payment of $145.00.”

Me: “That is unpossible. You check again. I am waiting for you.”

Them: “I have the payment record right here. You’re several months behind.”

Me: “You are to be looking wrong. Check the other one now.”

Them: “What other one?”

Me: “The one where I paid!”

Them: “You haven’t paid!”

Me: “Oh yes, the account is making the paying monthly.”

This went on for another minute or so before the person got mad and hung up on me.

(I finally paid off that burden about a year ago. Sheesh.)

[Aunt Una voice]Now Rysdad, shame on you![/Aunt Una voice] Telemarketers are one thing, but you should at least be polite to people who have a legitimate concern for calling you, such as collecting on money they loaned you in good faith. I’m not criticising whatever financial bind you were in, as I know it happens. But if you did legitimately owe, shouldn’t you have at least given them some more courtesy than that?

A telemarketer tries to sell some credit card. While she was doing her speech, I kept asking “Fee? Fee? Fee? Fee? Fee?” It must be higher than five fees cause she hung up immediately. Next time, I’ll go “La la la la la la la la la la!”



Thanks, that’s probably the most fun I’ll have today!


When they mention their name (person’s name), just repeat the name in a loud and surprised manner, and ask them how they are, and how happy you are to talk to them after all this time.

The response…


I had a guy call once to offer a credit card with an annual fee of just $75 and a credit limit of one thousand dollars! I started laughing and said, “No thanks!” The guy said, “Do you mind if I ask why you’re not interested?” I told him I had a platimum card with no annual fee and a limit of $10k.

And he said, "Well. Don’t I feel stupid. Sorry to waste your time!"

I couldn’t believe he said that! I was laughing so hard I could barely tell him, “No problem” before I hung up.

Wonko, this is a hijack. I feel compelled to ask you if you are ever visited by angels wearing birkenstocks…

And your idea…I’ve actually had this happen TO me…

I had a funny call last week. The tip-off was them asking for the man of the house.

Him: I’m Joe Blow with the State Police Association. We’d like to remind you to drive safely and buckle up.

Me: Why, Thank You!


Whoever wrote that script didn’t have a clue about what they were doing.