I had a heck of a scare last night. My mother rang to let me know she’d taken Dad to hospital the night before with very bad chest pains. At the moment they don’t think it was a heart attack - just a serious chest infection and pnuemonia. Granted Mum was upset so I can understand her telling me in chronological order (which scared the heck out of me) but I was a bit shaken by it all.
Having to face the mortality of my father is not something I’m prepared for. I’m fine with mine and nearly everyone else inmy life personally but I’m not sure how I’d cope if something happened to Dad.
I did the normal thin gduring my late teens of not spending much time with my parents after moving out before a near-death experience (mine) a few years back. Since then I’ve spent a lot of time with them but even then the sense of fragility wasn’t based on them. It revolved more around my experience. Now… well I’m a bit on edge and worried. This is not something I want to face.
I lost my mother when I was 15 (I am now 32) but the thought of my father dying scares the living hell out of me. He is the most important person in my life.
He had some very serious complications with his diabetes a while back (about 3 years ago) and scared the living crap out of me.
If it helps you any, it is possible that your father’s time is not now just a reminder… Since you have made it a point to spend more time with your parents don’t feel like a horrible child, we all did that in our teens.
Sorry to hear that, dpr. My father was killed when I was 10, and I barely knew him before. Losing my mother is not something I’ve ever allowed myself to contemplate.
I am sending prayers and hugs to you and your parents.
As you know, I lost my mom three years ago. I don’t know if I would survive if my father were to die. I guess I would, because you do what you have to do. But I do understand how frightened this made you.
Of course pneumonia and infection can be a really serious thing, but these days both of those things can usually be treated successfully. I pray that this is true in your dad’s case.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope he comes through it ok. There certainly aren’t many people who are actually ready to deal with it when the time comes. Perhaps if everything works out ok for now, it is a sign to get your relationship in order, it’s never to late.
dpr, I hope everything turns out ok for your dad. As techchick and Demo mentioned, perhaps this is some sort of signal to you, though you mentioned that you do spend time with both your parents. Don’t ever leave anything unsaid with someone you care about - as you can see, you just never know what might happen.
My father died this year on Memorial Day weekend - fitting for a veteran. He always knew I loved him. I moved out of state 5 years ago, but I was able to spend a few days back home last October - just me and him - and we said everything we needed to say. I’m so glad I did, and I have no regret in my life, but I miss him terribly.
The worst thing that could happen to a person is to wish you could have just one more chance to talk to someone, to tell them thanks for all they did, and that you love them. To anyone reading this, don’t wait. Say it now, while your words and feelings can be heard. Do it for those people that you care about, but just as important, do it for yourself.
Keep us posted, mate. Lost my own dad a few years ago–got the call while I was at work. Prior to that was twenty years of the off-and-on pins and needles you–and he–are living through right now. If you need to rant at the sky to help keep a cheerful face for the world you know where to find me.
Having to face the thought of losing a loved one is never easy. I lost both my parents and I’m still not ready to lose them. Give your dad a big hug and tell him you love him. I hope he gets better soon!!
My best wishes to you and your family, dpr. I know the feeling–my father had a heart attack back in 1988. He was ok–it was mild, and did no lasting damage–but it’s the sort of thing that makes you reevaluate.
Thanks for the kind words and thoughts guys. I haven’t been on much today but it’s 1am atm and - not surprisingly - I can’t sleep. What was surprising was how heartwarming it was to read messages of support here. I didn’t post for attention or for replies so it was wonderful to receive your wishes. Thanks guys - your friendships mean an incredible amount to me.
I must have been a bit ambiguous in the OP as I’m incredibly close to my dad. I’ve never fallen out with him: just had a period where I wasn’t ‘visiting the folks’ much. But I got that out of the system and visit quite regularly now and talk two or three times a week on the phone at least. I guess my feelings are a bit more selfish as I just don’t want to lose him ever. As Demo said, very few people would be ready to deal with it at anytime.
I spoke to him tonight and he was typically dry and laconic though at th end of the conversation he did admit he thought it was a heart attack. In typical fashion he joked about it and it’s good to hear his indominatable spirit asn’t suffered any. They may let him out of the hospital as soon as tomorrow if he continues to respond as well as he has done. His recovery so far has been fantastic (if you knew him you wouldn’t be at all surprised) so I’m feeling a bit better though there’s an air of apprehension around me that may hang around awhile. Thankfully I’m not working the rest of the week so will get up to see him tomorrow.
Thank you all once again. This was amazingly touching.
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And tech and lizard I know what you mean: he’s the one person I couldn’t deal with losing.
dpr, no one is ever ready to deal with the mortality of a parent. give your dad and mum a big hug when you see them. right now your dad is getting a lot of help and attention. remember your mum was very scared and give her some extra attention as well.
i hope your dad’s recovery goes well. the best medicine of course will be seeing you.
