I should be home in bed watching cartoons, but I dragged myself and my cold into work, because that’s what we do here in PTO-land. Then, when I went to unwrap another cough drop, I noticed the labels had been printed with “inspirational” messages: “Conquer today.” “Don’t try harder. Do harder!” “Put your game face on.”
Yeah. Well, my game face was at work all day, wreathed in menthol fumes. What a world.
My cold symptom soothing candy says, “Chimes is comforting wherever you go!” It looks like the company is owned by a bunch of hippies.
I am familiar with those cough drops. (Rhymes with talls) I opened one, and the label said: You Pussy!
How about, “Go home and don’t infect your coworkers!”
“Turn your head and cough.”
Where do you think I got this cold in the first place?
Try adding “in bed” or “under the Sheets” to these inspirational messages, just like people do with fortune cookie fortunes.
Makes it more palatable. Or at least more interesting.
“Infect your coworkers…in bed.”
Nope. That just sounds like you have a venereal disease.
Don’t do it to joke inspirational messages suggested by No Umlaut.
My preferred brand of tampons puts inspirational messages on the wrappers:
“Achieve your dreams.”
“You’ve got the moves!”
“Go play. I’ve got your back.”
“Stretch yourself.”
“Strive to do your best.”
“The sky’s the limit.”
“Go get 'Em.”
“Go with your gut.”
“Celebrate a bold attitude.”
“You’re in control here!”
I don’t think I would have included “go with your gut,” for the inspirational tampons, personally.
The problem with the cough drop wrappers is that sometimes part of the message gets trimmed off. The last one probably intended to encourage me to “hang tough,” but instead it just said “Tough.” Realistic, but not motivational.