Oh, Great Now We've Got Scuba Diving Terrorists To Worry About!

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Oooh, they’re narrowing it down.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/05/25/terror.threats/index.html

Since September 11, FBI investigators asked dive training industry officials for the names of all people who had been trained in the use of sophisticated “rebreathers,” one industry official said.

Unlike recreational scuba gear, the closed circuit rebreathers and semi-closed rebreathers produce very few or no bubbles, and some do not have magnetic signatures.

So, all we have to watch out for this weekend is:
[ul]
[li]people using scuba rebreathers[/li][li]apartment buildings being blown up[/li][li]bridges being blown up[/li][li]cruise ships being blown up[/li][li]nuclear power plants being blown up[/li][li]pipelines being blown up[/li][li]the Statue of Liberty being blown up[/li][li]bombs in subways[/li][li]bombs in banks[/li][li]bombs in shopping malls[/li][li]unattended packages[/li][li]suspicious people[/li][li]pipe bombs in the mailbox[/li][li]anthrax in the mail[/li]
and

[li]hijacked Mexican trucks loaded with cyanide[/li][/ul]
Happy Memorial Day, everybody.

[Tuckerfan]

I really never thought I’d be saying anything like this, but fuckin’ A Ducky them last three are real!!! Holy shit, way to make people feel calm about this shit! Thanks-a-fuckin’ lot!

[Tejota]

*Originally posted by Sam Stone *
**I’d like to point out the current flap about the government not issuing warnings before Sept. 11. People are calling for congressional hearings, etc. Look at the heat the administration is taking for being ‘secretive’.

As long as that atmosphere continues, you’re going to see them issuing warnings on a regular basis. **

What flap? Oh, you mean the flap about the Bush Admin lying about what the knew about terrorist activities before 9/11? No one has complained that the Bushies didn’t ‘warn’ us about 9/11. The complaint is that they lied after 9/11 about what they knew before. (which was not much, but was also not nothing).

If you would accurately describe the flap, you would find it a lot harder to make fun of it.

These vague, useless warnings are nothing more than spin. A cynical (and apparently successful) attempt to change the subject, and at the same time, to reinforce the fiction that criticism of the President is about failure to warn, rather than about lies and failure to fix the problem so it won’t happen again.

What we want from this administration are two things, neither of which it is doing.

1. prevent future terrorist actions. (instead they brag about how future actions, are ‘certain’. That nuclear terrorism is ‘inevitable’)
   [sub]They might as well be bragging that they aren’t up to the job.[/sub]

2. If you have something to say about past or future terrorist actions. make sure what you say is the truth as best you know it.

Instead we get lies about Air force 1 being a target, etc.

[Typo_Negative]

*Originally posted by Tejota *
** The complaint is that they lied after 9/11 about what they knew before. (which was not much, but was also not nothing).

**

It was nothing. Which is exactly what they know now. NOTHING.

“It could be explosives in an apartment, it could be hijacked planes, it could be bombs in a subway, it could be scuba divers, it could rain cats and fucking dogs!!!” Whick amounts to them saying “We don’t have a fucking clue, but we’re trying to cover our collective asses”.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Thanks-a-fuckin’ lot!

Hey, you’re, like, fuckin’ welcome, dude!

Hey, y’all, add this to your Conspiracy Theory Worry Machine. “Three Die When Barge Captain Mysteriously Passes Out, Crashes Barge Into Bridge”.
http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/05/26/barge.bridge/index.html

Interstate 40 across Oklahoma, a main east/west artery, is basically out of commission for the next six months.

All together now, everybody go, “Ooooooo!” and " :eek: " and check under the bed for monsters!!

[minty_green]

Unlike recreational scuba gear, the closed circuit rebreathers and semi-closed rebreathers produce very few or no bubbles, and some do not have magnetic signatures.

Oh yeah, they’re gonna sneak those truck bombs right past our sophisticated underwater magnetic signature detectors. We’re helpless, people, helpless! :rolleyes:

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Those FBI guys, they’re just a laff riot…

FBI warns of shoulder-fired missiles threat
May 30, 2002 Posted: 9:32 PM EDT (0132 GMT)
WASHINGTON (CNN) – Although it has had no specific warnings, the FBI is alerting law enforcement agencies to be on the lookout for any signs of terrorist plans to use shoulder-fired missiles against U.S. targets, especially commercial airliners…

How much longer do ya suppose the Feds can keep this up, anyway? After a while, won’t they run out of things to warn us about?

“Although it has had no specific warnings, the FBI is alerting law enforcement agencies to be on the lookout for any signs of terrorist plans to tip over privies and tie firecrackers to cats’ tails…”

[Tuckerfan]

On the lighter side, most of the missing cyanide has turned up!