Now the Professor has given Mojo Jojo super powers; we’re all doomed:
"Monkeys with brain implants were trained to move a robot arm with their thoughts, a key advance by researchers who hope one day to allow paralyzed people to perform similar tasks. A series of electrodes containing tiny wires were implanted about a millimeter deep into the brains of two monkeys. A computer then recorded signals produced by the monkeys’ brains as they manipulated a joystick controlling the robotic arm in exchange for a reward - sips of juice. The joystick was later unplugged and the arm, which was in a separate room, was controlled directly by the brain signals coming from the implants. The monkeys eventually stopped using the joystick, as if they knew their brains were controlling the robot arm, Duke University researcher Miguel Nicolelis said.
‘Three of us were in the room watching the monkey late at night, and all of sudden the monkey just dropped the joystick and started playing the game … the monkey just got it that she didn’t need to move the joystick,’ Nicolelis said. ‘Appliances, remote objects in other locations in the house and robots all could be controlled.’"
—Evil Super-Monkeys controlling huge killer robots. Thanks, Dr. Nicolelis!
“I, Mojo Jojo, am your master, and you shall obey my commands like the dogs you are! Because I am your master, it is I who you will obey! Obeying commands is what you’ll do! I will give you commands, and you will obey them!”
My favourite is the line from the researcher that the monkeys were unaffected by the surgery. Other than the cluster of wires sticking up from the epoxy where their skull used to be, but I guess that doesn’t count as ``affected’’ where he comes from…
Dr. Nicolelis’ next step, no doubt, will be to transplant the brains of recently executed murderers into the bodies of the telekinetic monkeys. “That can’t possibly go wrong!”
