Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My apologies to those whom the title phrase may offend, but OG has never cut it for me. It reminds me of the B.C. comic strip, and I just can’t take it seriously. So, at the risk of offending a few people, I repeat…Oh, my FREAKING God!!

What a night this has been! For those of you just tuning into my life, and that’s most of you, you will be unaware that my girlfriend of almost ten years moved out of our apartment, last night. I guess I can officially call her an ex, now. This had been coming for a long, long time, but it finally got here, last night. That’s just the lead-in, though.

Tonight, I drove up to Hampton Beach, NH, to see the Righteous Brothers. Okay, keep the comments to yourselves, please. I’m old, and I’ve always loved some of their songs, and Ticketmaster kept harassing me to buy a ticket, so I eventually gave in. I knew, at the time I bought the ticket, that my ex-GF would be gone around now, and I figured I should get used to doing some things on my own. They still had good seats left, so I bought one. I’ve never bought one ticket to a show, before, but that’s beside the point. But, it felt weird.

So, I get to Hampton Beach about an hour before the show starts. For those of you from other parts of the country, I don’t know if you have places like this. It’s an old resort area. Nice beach; lots and lots of tourist crap. I mean LOTS! Like, miles of it. The show was staged in the Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom. Yes, at one time, it really was a casino. Back in the days when it was a resort that attracted the upper crust of Boston. Nowadays, it mostly attracts middle class folks, and the only gambling is of the SkeeBall variety.

Anyway, having got there early, I wandered a bit. Checked out the beach; walked quickly away from the concert going on there; some group known as the ShowStoppers; massed accordions, if you can believe that. I couldn’t. Walked down the “boardwalk”, checking out the crap. And, happened to notice a sign saying “Dr. Harp” would be playing at a bar in the next block, that night.

So, to make a long story somewhat shorter, I saw the Righteous Brothers, and had a very good time, despite having to help the geezer next to me out of his chair, twice. FWIW, capsule review; Bill Medley still can belt out those awesome basso profundo notes, but is a little ragged on the softer stuff. Bob Hatfield’s voice is still smooth, but hasn’t got the range it once had, as one would expect.

After the show, it being only 10 o’clock, I decided to check out Dr Harp. I happen to be a huge fan of blues harp (harmonica, to the uninitiated), and figured that had to be the good doctor’s specialty. Absolutely right. And, not bad, either. I managed to snag a primo seat at the counter opposite the bar, and facing the band, and sat back to enjoy some more music. (Can you ever get too much music? I don’t think so.) And, NH is much more civilized than Boston, when it comes to bars. They still let you smoke!

So, I’m sitting there, enjoying the music, sipping my drink, and somehow the guy next to me starts up a conversation. I don’t remember how. But, his name is Mark, and he’s my new best friend. (If I can ever locate him, again.) He was dragged to the Righteous Brothers show by his GF, and had a terrible time. “Old people suck”, as he put it. Apparently, his geezer had an oxygen tube and a size 56 attitude. So, we’re chatting (if you can call it that, when you’re shouting in the other person’s ear) for about an hour, when a gorgeous blonde enters. Along with the stage, I also have a great view of the entrance, and this lady caught my eye immediately!

She was alone! She smoked! And, she took a seat, off by herself. And, stayed by herself, for quite a while. There was not a lot of pick-up action going on in this bar. It appeared to be mostly couples and groups. Otherwise, this beauty would have been scooped in a hurry. But, she wasn’t. In fact, she looked like she might actually like some company.

My new best friend, Mark (with a “k”, because Marc with a “c” is “ancient”) (Did I mention Mark was drunk?), has also noticed this blonde beauty. But, he’s there with his girlfriend (who is dancing with his…sister, I think he said). It would be hard not to notice her. She’s beautiful! She also is dressed very nicely, with a casual elegance. And, she’s smiling with pleasure, every so often.

Mark, my new best friend (even though he sucks, because he got tickets to the Springsteen concert in Fenway Park, the dirty rat bastard!), starts going on about how, “if he were single” he’d definitely try to meet this lovely lady. And, since he couldn’t, I should. (Yeah, right! The most beautiful woman in the bar! WAAAY out of my league!) On and on, he went, for a good half hour. Did I mention he knew I was unattached? Well, he did. If I recall correctly, the opening salvo went something like this;

Mark: You should go try to meet her.
Me: I should be so lucky!
Mark: I would, if I was single. Why don’t you give it a shot?
Me: It’s been 10 years since I did that.
Mark: So, what? Just go try!
Me: I wouldn’t have a clue what to say.

That stumped him, but didn’t stop him. I mentioned he was drunk, right? Actually, by this time, I’m feeling pretty good, myself. Two drinks at each place, so far. So, after half an hour of Mark, my new best friend, trying in vain to come up with a good approach, I excused myself, to go to the men’s room. For some reason, the men’s room (and the ladies room, though that didn’t matter to me) is up a spiral staircase that the bass player is more or less wedged under. So, up I go, and down I come.

I should, at this point, mention that I have never in my life successfully met a woman in a bar. I have tried, and failed. I have tried, and been laughed at. I have tried, and been sworn at. I have never tried, and succeeded.

Did I mention this lady is beautiful? I did, didn’t I. So, having thought about it for a good half hour, and having had, apparently, the right number of drinks, as I exit the staircase, instead of turning back towards my seat at the counter, I head over to this lovely lady, who is still sitting all alone. Doing my best to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, who seemed to be having some sort of intra-species gang fight, I walked up to the lady. When she looked up, I smiled (I think…I was too nervous at the time to be sure), bent down (because she was sitting and she’s fairly short), and said “Hi! My friend bet me that you wouldn’t let me buy you another drink.”

Yes, it was a bald-faced lie. But, I’m sure Mark would have, had he thought of it. So, that should count for something. And, it worked! Her name is Theresa, and she’s not only beautiful, she’s intelligent, she’s sweet, she’s a successful businesswoman, and a great kisser. And, I’m calling her, tomorrow. She asked me to. I can’t freaking believe it!

And, that’s why I’m still up at quarter to 4 in the morning, having arrived home at 2:30 am. And, that’s why I have a new best friend, named Mark.

2

Yay!
Glad to hear that a chapter in your life story looking up!

3

Smooth. Very smooth.

4

You realise she used to be a man, right?

5

Wah Hoo! Go for the gusto, mate! You have now officially earned the right to refer to the harmonica as a “Mississippi Saxophone.”

6

Yay! Glad to hear something’s looking cheerier for you :slight_smile: I hadn’t seen you around for a bit and was starting to wonder!

Now get some sleep :slight_smile: Sheesh… I’m just waking up!

7

Damn.

Another (single) one bites the dust. (sigh).
:smiley:
Congrats and all of that on your new beau Dave. Take it easy and take it like a man, and you’ll be fine!!

8

Woohoo!
That Mark. I always knew he’d live up to his potential some day.

9

Hey, that’s great!

So I guess if you pick her up and you smell a boiling rabbit on her stove, you know to leave quickly, right?

10

Yahoo!

Lewis Grizzard said the hard part is not walking up to a girl in a bar. It’s walking back after she shoots you down.

[Maternal mode] Please remember you are coming off a long relationship and don’t want to jump into anything too quickly.[/MM]

Let us know how the phone call goes. And try to have Beautiful Blonde woman wandering around your apartment in her teddy when the ex comes over to pick up the rest of her things.

11

Thanks, everyone! :slight_smile:

Yes, I’m back, already. Maybe four hours of sleep, later. I’m gonna pay for this Big Time, tomorrow. I hate not being able to sleep when it’s convenient! But, no hangover (I think the final tally was seven drinks. Not bad for an old guy who doesn’t drink, often.) and I’m still in a good mood.

GuanoLad - don’t care, dude. :slight_smile:

Zenster - way too many syllables! I’d strain my grunting muscles, trying to grunt that. Blues harp works much better, for me. Although, Dr. Harp did quiz the audience on what a Mississippi Saxophone was. And, I wasn’t the only one who knew the answer! Turns out, Theresa is from Mississippi. No Southern Belle accent, though. (Dammit!) Probably just as well, though. It’s undiginified when your knees buckle at the sound of your lady’s voice.

tanookie - I’ve been around, but in a kind of low profile mode. People don’t tend to notice me, when it’s not a sex thread.

Eilsel - Words cannot express how happy I am, to be able to truthfully say, I have absolutely no idea what a boiling rabbit would smell like. But, if it’s one of those “you’ll know it, when you encounter it” kind of thingies, yes, I’ve seen the movie. That blur, fading into the horizon? That’s me.

But, she doesn’t resemble Glenn Close, at all. I said she was beautiful, didn’t I? Well, she is. (Sorry, Glenn. You’re a great actress, but…) And, she’s tiny. I’m actually not sure how tall she is, because she was wearing heels (Yes, I noticed! That’s a point for me, right, ladies?), but I’m guessing she’s right around 5 feet tall. Quite the odd couple; tiny, delicate lady, big, galumphing man. She didn’t seem to mind, though. And the hug was nice, though it might be a tad awkward, without the heels.

So, if anyone’s still listening, out there, what time should I wait until, to call? I’m thinking afternoon, but I’m way out of practice at this stuff. Early afternoon? Late afternoon? Evening? (I don’t know if I have that much self control.)

And, I was thinking of sending her a single rose. Good idea, or bad/creepy? Assuming I can find a florist in the area. They’ve probably all been turned into T-Shirt shops.

12

“Hi! My friend bet me that you wouldn’t let me buy you another drink.”

Scribbles down furiously

Hey congrats, mate! Your bar pick-up confidence should be soaring :wink:

13

No rose until after the first date. Then, just one.

Call her early this afternoon and see if you can take her out for coffee and dessert. Dinner is Too Big right now. Maybe a walk in the park? No movie, because you’ll have that whole Should I Hold Her Hand or Not thing, plus there’s no interaction.

Someplace quiet, where you can chat.

14

I second what ivylass said. Oh, and let us know how it goes! This is so cool! Congrats, Dave!

15

Goodness… I’m fresh out of dating advice! I wouldn’t even know where to begin … thanks for making me feel old :slight_smile:

I wouldn’t call before noon though as she may want to have the chance to wake up and stuff before being social… unless she’s pacing and waiting for the phone to ring :wink: (Just want to offer up a bit of paranoia for ya )

I do like Ivylass’ suggestion though. So that’s three!

Good luck!

16

Good luck, Davebear! Hope you’ll post an update, and if you get to know her better, maybe steer her this way so we can all grill her and find out if she’s Perfect For You.
:slight_smile:
Best,
karol

17

:smiley: Thanks!

Ah, yes. The Dreaded Gauntlet of Humiliation[sup]TM[/sup]. Well, he was right, of course. But, it’s the knowledge of the consequences that makes the walk to the lady so difficult.

I don’t think I mentioned that she had stationed herself in the midst of a really good No-Man’s Land. Stairs on one side, pool table on another, dance floor on the third, and a huge, vast wasteland of empty space between her and anything else on the fourth. Okay, it only seemed like a huge, vast wasteland as I was crossing it. But, that’s all that counts, right?

Thanks, Mom! :wink: You’re right, though. That was actually another reason I was hesitant to approach her, though a much smaller reason. When I said the breakup had been coming for a long, long time, I meant it. We were, and still are, great friends, but we don’t work, as a couple.

We’d been around the “Let’s work this out” circle three times, already. And, I’d seen the end coming about two years ago. No, that’s not quite right. I’d pronounced it dead about two years ago. There were a variety of reasons why I stuck with her for so long, afterwards; inertia, fear, apathy, financial reasons, companionship, etc.

Great. More pressure!
[movie quote]
I love pressure. I eat it for breakfast!
[movie quote]

I can’t remember where that’s from, but it was delivered sarcastically, and pretty much sums up my attitude.

ACK! NO! That would be horrible! I don’t want to hurt Sherri, and I’m the one who opted out. So, there’s no revenge motive, on my part. I don’t think there’s one, on hers, either. So, that’s a scenario I’m going to do my damndest to avoid.

But, leaving Sherri out of the picture, the image is a dazzling one. :slight_smile:

Use it in good health, and thanks! :slight_smile:

But, you should note, I only decided to try that because she looked like she was the fun-loving type and really did look like she’d like some company. I wouldn’t recommend trying it on a surly or introverted-looking woman. But, I could be wrong. Maybe it would work.

Okey dokey. Glad I asked about the rose. But, several drinks, at two different places, a long walk, several kisses, and a hug don’t add up to a date? (Yes, I know I didn’t include all that detail. Sorry about that. It would have spoiled the ending of the story.)

I also didn’t include the geographical details. You wouldn’t know that Hampton Beach is an hour and a half away. Much as I’d love to see her again, tonight, I’m not sure the old body can take the sleep deprivation. Or, did you not mean tonight? I’m not sure. I was thinking next weekend.

I agree that dinner might be a bit much, at this point. The problem might be in finding somewhere quiet, other than the beach. There only seem to be three volume levels, there (and, pretty much everywhere, it seems); Painfully Loud, Permanently Damaging, and Deadly. But, she may know of a place.

But, there’s no “Should I?”, where holding her hand is concerned. If she’ll allow it, I’m going to. She kissed me, last night…sorry, faded out, for a moment…damn, that was a good kiss…sorry!..so I think it should be okay. She seems to like contact, too. Is it afternoon, yet? No? Dammit!

Thanks, Laura! :slight_smile:

Well, you’re way past the dating stage. And, probably permanently past it, even though you’re 10 years younger than I am. So, don’t feel old. :slight_smile:

Oh, and thanks for the paranoia. :stuck_out_tongue: But, I doubt that’s the case.

Ummm…no. Did I give you the impression I’m that stupid? :wink:

But, thanks for the good luck wishes. :slight_smile:

Damn, I’m chatty, today! Wonder why? :smiley:

OOH! Almost forgot! Before the PC Police get here, yes, I intend to tell her I lied about the bet, if things progress to the point where it’s safe to do so.

18

Dave’s giddy like a schoolgirl in love today :slight_smile: Bask in it!

Yeah I think I am permanently past the dating thing. I would become the old cat lady spinster if something made me suddenly single again.

I’ve never been to Hampton Beach. Sounds like someplace to drag parallax if I can wrangle his mom to munchkin sit.

19

Oh, Dave, this is fun (I mean in the sense of living vicariously through other people because I have no life of my own kind of fun, not fun at your expense!). I completely agree with ivylass about the rose. Wait til you talk to her today, the day after, both sober as judges and having had all night and part of a day to digest the happenings.
I hope she’s every bit as excited as you sound and I bet she will be. I agree, also, with tanookie. Wait til around 1:00pm.
I wouldn’t worry about “the lie”. I think it’ll be funny to tell her when the time’s right, but I can’t imagine that she would be offended. If you had told her all sorts of other stuff that concealed important things about you, that’s one thing. But being nervous about approaching her and making up an excuse on the spot I would view as something quite different.
Does she live in the Hampton Beach area? At least it’s a nice drive.:wink:
good luck!

20

I think you should call her whenever you have enough nerve built up lol. I’m sure she has a machine…you can stutter and stammer on that :smiley: just kidding. You’ll be fine…