:eek: WOw 
giggle-in a Very manly sort of way, of course Wow! gosh, Thanks!
Ladies! This is a tough one from over on this side!
I can see where Dave is here, “She communicated, by not communicating, that she has No interest.”
So, question on the table is … ok, 2 questions … 1) I’m da New guy and don’ wanna be breaching etiquette while broaching a question about etiquette, should I be starting a new thread to make this a question?
Real Question: Gathering in data from all your women friends and FOF’s DO you think a woman not returning calls IS the communication of “buzz off?” Should we men take it that way, or, if we really like spending time with the woman, should we just figure they’re not good at picking up the phone, and go ahead and call again?
I mean, I have friends who are socially dyslexic, and as friends, I just call again, when I get around to it. And, I’ve Had experiences where I thought that I ‘heard’ actions, speaking loudly and clearly, only to find out, later, the woman in question wondered why I quit calling.
Granted, not returning calls tells us something about matching her with sweet, loyal, dependable, considerate, thoughtful, exceptionally well shod, some-may-say cute, D.Bear as lifetime companion. But, Suppose, One Was able to chalk it up that insert woman’s name isn’t off the OMG meter about him, but, instead, [engage mental refile] a ‘fun date’ when you can get ahold of her, more fun than movies alone[/refile] … in ‘girl speak’ do y’all think she actually Was communicating “Buzz Off” or would you be more likely to guess she is just ‘outgoing communications’ impaired?
Do ya think we’re (speaking for all men in this position) invited to give her a call at work, spur of the moment, for dinner, a movie, what-have-you, or we should just politely and sliently disappear into our chocolates and roller blades … and have dinner alone?
and if this was typo’d, rude, ill-mannered, or a hijack, I’m a:wally and :smack: sorry!
Oh, NO! I’m so sorry. Yes, I could do that. tanookie’s was just kidding, I guess, since she actually turned down a real offer to help, but if you need something lugged or installed or removed, email me. (Please note; this offer is for pregnant or injured female residents of the Greater Boston area ONLY! I ain’t coming to Texas to hang no shelf. Unless that’s a euphemism I’m not familiar with. )
Thanks. 
I’m not sure what I deserve (a swift kick in the ass comes to mind), but I think everyone deserves to be treated better than this.
You certainly could. It would probably be a worthwhile thread, on its own. But, I don’t mind it being tacked on, here. I was actually kinda heading in this direction, myself. On the other hand, you’d get more reads and/or responses in a separate thread. By the time threads get this long, people are either along for the entire ride, or pass it by. But, I’d be interested in what the ladies have to say on this.
Wow! So, how YOU…err…Sorry, Wyatt, you’re cool and everything (Hah! Worked it in!), but even I ain’t that desperate. And, if some may say I’m cute, I wish they’d say it where I can hear it (without snickering!!).
Yeah, that’s where I was headed. I was wondering, am I allowed a parting email? Not a nasty-gram, but a “I’m confused and sad, but I got the message, and wish it could have gone differently, but have a nice life” kind of thing? Or, is that just pathetic and/or stalkerish, again? I’m feeling annoyingly pathetic, so I don’t trust my juegement.
Dave, man, that sucks. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine why anybody over the age of 16 plays these games.
Do you mind if I pop in here and add my $0.02. And really I understand that this is all it is worth.
Dave, I agree that deb has to go look up her name ah Dolores is communication impaired. I have had friends like this. Nicest people in the world, but real flakes. I myself have slipped into this mode too at times since I have come to hate the phone, but unfortunately it is only for work stuff deb who looks at her “to call back” list and shudders but ignores it.
Don’t send this email. You can fantasize about it, but keep it to that level. Cause to send it would just be petty. And we don’t want to have to start calling you “Tom”
"Hey, I’m not a person to bug someone, so, if you were meaning to give me a call back, give a call. In a week or so, when ever.
If you were meaning “please go away.” …
I’m not a person to bug someone … "
Would be my thoughts for an approach to an exit Email. Not flaming, but not whiney and needy, and leaves her with no questions as to why you “went away.” I think … we’ll have to see how it translates in ‘woman speak’ …
Ladies? corrections? additions? alternate approaches?
Thanks, Wrabbit. I obviously don’t get it, either.
Why would I mind? Of course you’re welcome!
I think you mean Theresa, but I got the point.
Rats!
[Petty]
Listen honey, can’t you see? Baby, you will bury me…Don’t do me like that!
[/Petty]
Seems pretty Damn The Torpedoes appropriate, to me.
And, it just dawned on me that I missed another hint that I probably could have gotten laid, on that first date. Dammit! I just wasn’t tuned in to such hints. It just honestly never occured to me that it was possible, at that time. Damn, damn, damn!
I have to take a leaf out of Mr. “you’re cool and everything, but” Wyatt’s book and just reponds with a :smack: hey the thread is 5 pages long – uhm the sun got in my eyes – I have forgotten my own name – look it’s Saddam Hussein hanging out in Great Debates.
Dave maybe you will feel better to hear my sorry story. Met this guy at his job, gave him my work number, he called we talked nice guy. We were suppose to have an informal date. We set up a tentative date day on our last phone call, but he was to call me with the time to meet and had set up a day he would call me with this info. My uncle died. I got busy at work the day he was to call me, what with actually doing work gasp can you believe it and talking to my bro’s and sis’s to inform/get info from about the funeral, make hotel reservations, order flowers, you know all that stuff ya gotta do when someone passes. Well the dude if he did call didn’t leave a message or else didn’t call altogether (it is my direct line and has voice mail). I had no phone # for him but I couldn’t have made it cause unc’s funeral was on the day of our date. Haven’t heard from him since and I am using the old book–a man calls a lady. *sigh * he was younger than me by a few years I coulda done with a boytoy. *sigh * But we did have widely different tastes in music, so it probably would have just been friends.
deb–you can call me barbara – 2world
Final email, NO more phone calls: “I liked meeting you and enjoyed the time we spent together. I hope I hear from you sometime in the future”.
No placing blame, no finding fault, no pathetic whining, just honesty. Maybe her life is so hectic right now that a relationship feels like one more task, one more slice of time out of her day to answer calls, one more need for her attention.
Leave the ball in her court–maybe she’ll return it…
I agree with Cyn here. I was hoping to reply long ago to Wyatt’s Real Question and say that, yes, it does happen that some women will wonder why a fella stopped calling them, even though they weren’t returning phone calls. I don’t think this is fair behavior, but it does happen. I can actually think of one occasion, long ago, when I was guilty of this. I was a freshman in college and casually dating a really nice guy, whose phone calls I stopped returning and I can’t even remember why. Eventually I realized what I had done and I felt like too much of a jerk to call him. He let it go for a while, then called me one day and I was able to apologize, etc.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with the final email, but I night even consider waiting a bit. Give her time to realize that you’re not calling, then approach it in a few days or a week and explain along the line of what Cyn wrote above.
(I have no idea if I’m making any sense. I have had very little sleep because of the busted foot, and no coffee yet. All I know is that I needed to respond here and give my to cents. Aren’t you glad I did?)
I’d stick with this one. The classics never go out of fashion.
It does make me feel a little better, if only because you were nice enough to share you story, but I don’t think it’s directly comparable to my situation. She has my number. She’s already used it. She has my email, although she’s never used that. Etc.
But, I agree with you. He should call, again. And, I’m sorry about your uncle.
I’m probably too old to be a boytoy, but I’m willing to try being a kept man, if that would help. 
No, no more calls from me. At this point, I’m not sure I’d want to hear from her. I’d probably go all Grizzly on her, and that wouldn’t help anything.
Well, if you’re going to take all the fun out of it…
Well, if I thought that might happen, maybe… But, I don’t. I think I’d just end up leaving another unanswered message.
We’ll see. Maybe I’ll feel like taking that approach in a week, or so.
Yes, I am. And, I hope you were making sense, because it sounded sensible, to me. Sorry about the foot. But, I’m glad you didn’t call me, to come make you coffee at 5:30 am. I was up kinda late, too.
Davebear, I’ve been lurking in this thread since it started. I don’t know you at all, but I want to say that you sound like a great guy and if I had any single friends your age, I would be deep in the “meddling” stage. And Theresa makes me mad. She gives lovely New Hampshire women a bad name. Yeesh, don’t we already have enough bad publicity with the “toothless” jokes? 
And I hope to trek down to a Boston Dope someday to actually meet you folk, if the northerners are welcomed.
Oh, so you’re the one who’s been lurking behind the drapes, huh? Well, it’s nice to meet you, at last. Pretty name. I always liked those flowers. So, ya’ got any friends who are single, over 16, and under 50? They don’t have to be my age. I’m not picky. Or, children of friends? Grandchildren of friends? (I’m just kidding, of course.) (Sort of.) (I wouldn’t date anyone under the age of 18.) (Kidding!) (Sort of.)
I’m afraid my knowledge of lovely New Hampster women, toothless or not, is limited. I’ve heard they won’t date anyone who isn’t a blood relative, though. (Kidding!) (Really!) But, you can always disclaim Theresa, since she’s originally from Mississippi. Her ex introduced her to NH.
Of course you’re welcome! And, it’ll give you an opportunity to wear your good teeth! (Kidding!) (Honest!) (Well, here’s another woman I’ll never hear from, again. Bet she wishes she’d stayed behind the curtains.) We’re having the next BostonDope Saturday, August 16th. It looks like I won’t have an excuse to miss it, so put on your good boots, and come on down and stomp me, a bit. 
(Kidding!) (Definitely!) (I’ve been stomped on by NH women enough, all ready.) (Seriously.)
Okay, what is going on here? Davebear, I don’t want to hear any more complaints about your success ratio. Women are flocking to you in this thread.
Attention, attention, attention, women of the Straight Dope Message Board. Davebear is not the only single guy in New England. There are others, some of them very funny and with hair.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled fawning.
[sub]Jeez, who do you have to sleep with to get a little flirting around here?[/sub]
Hey, RobotArm! How YOU doin’?
Better?
Hey I don’t really flirt or fawn! I’m the mother hen who offers clueless advice and moral support. I also bandage scraped knees and find mindless tasks for busywork when the children start whining
Then again I’m married and pregnant. Certainly not high on the ‘eligible list’
Much. Thank you.
Good luck on your interview, and take good care of your foot.
Oh, yeah, almost forgot.
I’m doin’ fine, how YOU doin’?
Sorry, Robot Arm, you’re funny and everything…wait…something’s wrong, here.
Dude…might I point out that not a single one of these ladies has the slightest interest in dating me? I seem to have more Mamas, sisters and concerned friends than I could ever have imagined (for which I’m deeply grateful…it’s been the best part of this whole experience), but that’s the extent of it.
True, and Robot Arm is one of them. He also dresses better than I do, and shoots pool better, too. So, I have lots of reasons to hate him. But, I don’t.
Oh, stop whining. You want a lesson from the Master? Lesson #1: you have to flirt, noticeably, with someone, if you want them to flirt with you. Yes, this is still predominantly a traditional, male-makes-the-first-move arena. And, I haven’t noticed you doing much of that. If the ladies don’t flirt with you, they haven’t noticed, either. And, if you’re sleeping with someone, in order to get them to flirt with you, you’ve got it backwards, but you’re still doing better than I am.
Interview? What did I miss?
And, hey, you got lorene to flirt with you. Okay, so she may have been kidding; it’s still a start. I can’t even get her to let me carry her grocery bags. But, then you forgot to flirt back! Yeesh!
And, thanks, Mama 'Nookie. My knee is getting better, all the time.
Hey, look! I’m a hijacker! I’ve never been a hijacker before.
Do I answer Davebear’s question and say that, yes, I have a job interview on Wednesday? Naw, if he really cares, he can find my thread, which is cleverly titled, “I have a job interview on Wednesday.”
Do I remind Davebear that I flirted with him once, in a thread where I mentioned my secret passion for bald men? Naw, maybe best to let sleeping dogs lie.
What do I do? What do I do?
Hey, tanookie! How YOU doin’?