Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1061

Come one, come all there is a show here the likes of which have never been seen before outside of a Russ Meyer movie. This is an epic of Caligulan proportions, and not for the weak of heart or faint of metaphor. Stay tuned for a preview of Friday’s debauchery…

Will ** peritrochoid ** the dj give Psalex a wankle? (And will he believe that she is interested in his mind or the RX8?)

Will** tanookie ** give birth or will the child just stroll out? (And where are her feet?)

Will Simple Dreamer get a doggy backrub? (And will she return to the chiropractor or will Wyatt give her an adjustment?) :wink:

Will Wyatt get a kiss or another thorough bath? (And will he get a complimentary rim shot (ta da da) after every wisecrack?)

Will Maureen use drastic measures to revive Davebear when mipiace and Psalex show up unannounced at his house for an impromptu hot tub party? (Or will she sit in the living room watching movies, oblivious to the rodeo-like action in the next room?)

Will Robot Arm find glory in his prize spork? (Or will he discover out a previously unheard of use for spork… one that won’t leave tell-tale marks?)

Will White Ink return from burning man with enough toasted marshmallows for the whole cast? (And will White Ink remember to don clothing upon exiting the desert?)

Will mipiace discover Optihut’s accent and replace Studmuffin? (Or will she shun all men with accents and run away with Psalex to both the excitement and disappointment of all the single men in the thread?)

Will Davebear become so entangled in this web of femine wiles and wanton flirting that he will abondon the search for the perfect Match and settle for two randy hot-tub lovin’ uber babes who will soap each other solely for his entertainment? (And will the lusty wenches emerge cleaner or dirtier from the mutual lavation?)

And what of the voyeurs in the audience? Will they continue to lurk and crash the party from time to time to express amazement at Davebear’s longevity and Super Innuendo Powers? (And which lurker will craft Davebear a cape o’panties befitting his stature as Operator Extraordinare?) (And will he sign the breasts of his female fans?)

And what of KP ?Will he bring food? (Or will he yet reveal another sort of appetite? Hmmmm…?)

And TigoleBitties? Of what origin is this name? (Or is it a pun so Freudian that ** TigoleBitties ** is guaranteed an honorary lifetime membership in the Oh My Freaking God thread?)

Stay tuned, folks- As the Libido Turns continues tomorrow…same Swingin’ time, same Swingin’ place

1062

sits back and applauds the seXy tall girl

1063

Are we back to the licking idea? Hmmm…don’t think I ever did lick anything off mipiace.

Abso…hey, waitaminit! Are you just trying to make sure you win your bet?

Hmmm…now, I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared.

Match? Um, no, but I have a lighter. Oh, that! Yeah, I still belong to that, don’t I?

Someone’s been doing her homework! And, of course I’d be happy to sign, or otherwise make my mark, on any part of a female fan’s anatomy.

Better watch out, Wyatt; she’s good! She’ll be stealing your narrator job, if you aren’t careful.

1064

The Grasshopper looks up, and realizes there are many things in which he must study his Sensei Very closely … and must practice many many times to reach toward perfection …

1065

I’ve figured out why Simple Dreamer is always perceived as sweet.

Eventually, the SDMB answers every question, doesn’t it?

1066

chuckle Down, boy! If there’s any licking to be done here, I’ll do it. Well, okay. Stop whimpering. You can do the toe licking.

Hey, hey! She’s not that kind of girl, either. Which, in a way, is kind of a shame. She’s certainly got the…ummm…natural assets for it. Quite the knocke… err… knockout. I’ve seen photos, so I know (nyah, nyah). And, she has beautiful skin. :smiley:

1067

:smiley:
Spectacular!

Beautiful!

Positively resplendent!

I fell in the floor laughing hysterically at that, Psalex! Thanks!

So, umm, do you wanna wankle? :wink:

:: wonders if maybe the Wyatt fan club was the wrong fan club to start :: :smiley:

1068

Well, KP… I do use vanilla body spray (my fav) and sometime ginger body spray.

ROFL Dave! Yep, I got assets to make any Hooter’s girl jealous. :rolleyes: But thank you for the complement on my skin. :slight_smile:

1069

This thread moves so fast, I can barely keep up. And I´ll be most likely gone for the weekend - the horror, the horror!

Anyway, as for the accent - yep, definitely got one. But even though for some reason I am more comfortable speaking English than German with women (a friend of mine was of the opinion that the language is enough of a distraction to keep me from being nervous, heh), it didn´t do me much good in the past as the woman from Canada I was interested in dumped me (sort of) in favour of a Texan. sigh

1070

BTW, Dave, my email to Wyatt was about as hot and erotic as the ones I send you. :wink:

1071

Well, that depends. What percentage of the profit are you looking to get? As I consider this bet a lock.

But, I certainly wouldn’t want to distract you from any other, um, pressing engagements…

1072

Why yessss….peritrochoid I do have a certain… proclivity towards the Wankel. There is just something about that rotary engine that drives me wild. I usually don’t admit this ummm… fascination in front of strangers. (Though Davebear did tease this little confession out of me in his usual masterful fashion; he really seems to know just how to get a girl to open up and share)

What I wouldn’t do for a 1993…
(cue the dream sequence: waxing and buffing until she is all shiny and let’s me look under the hood…no wait, better still… a long expanse of road bereft of speed limit signs… the Autobahn… Cannonball race…Pacific Coast between California and San Francisco…double clutching…downshifting…sigh)
And the RX8 wouldn’t get kicked out of bed, either

1073

:: drools on keyboard ::

WOW! A chick with a fascination for speed and she knows her cars (rotaries at that!)! :eek:

downshifting … oh my!

double clutching … OH MY!

Holy eccentric shafts, Batman! I suddenly find myself positively smitten! :wink:

1074

Awww! How cute. Flirting over cars and stuff. :smiley: Dave’s a matchmaker now.

1075

Now THAT is quite a stretch of road! I’m not sure it compares to the drive between, say … Tennessee and Knoxville, or even that terrific stretch between Georgia and Atlanta … though I will admit, there are a buncha folks, in other parts of the state, that don’t think we’re part of the same place … chuckle Of course, I can understand why Petrichoid didn’t see that part …

And… Public suggestions of Wankeling!!??!? Wow, you are Quite some Woman!!!

'Cept, I note, MINE didn’t come with any dang’d Pictures!!! Ah-Hem!!! As the Grasshopper student of the legendary one, I Neeeeeed to be able to study all things he studies, see all things he sees, know the feel of … well, you get the drift … I’m a Very visual and kinesthetic learner!!! A real “show me,” “hands on” kinda guy!

So, the assets comment Wasn’t a compliment? We talkin’ bonds? rental property? Former Champion Race Horse studs?
[homer]… uuummmmmm a s s e t s …[/homer]

[homer] … Uuuummmmmm t o e . l i c k i n g …[/homer]
And the sniffing? How 'bout the sniffing?
[yeah yeah…] …uuummmm c a n d y … [/running joke into ground]
Kin I hold 'em for ya, while ya sign 'em?

Good link KP! WAY to be alert to related topics!

1076

LOL Wyatt, Dave saw those pics elsewhere. Not in an email. :wink:

I’m still wondering how my breasts get into so many conversations… :confused:
I suppose some would take it as a compliment, undoubably Dave meant it that way. Personally I think the girls are a bit cumbersome and frankly, in the way. I’m sure if you do your homework headlights you can find out just what size I’m talking about. :wink:

1077

Wait, wait, wait!!! you have an accent? Adn your original nationality is??? Are you really German? Ummm das is shr gut herr Optihut!! Ich liebt in Germania fur drei jahren aber mein Deutsch ist scheift! …and I think my spelling is pretty bad after all these years too.

You don’t sound like that Austrian guy on Cupid do you? :wink:

Okay an just really quickly to everyone else :

Dave baby, geez, you talk like I have castrated you so many times, I never gave you anythign that you didn’t comepletely deserve and that you didn’t START FIRST! So BACK OFF! SILLY BOY, I gave you a scalp massage so be nice, and no, as a matter of fact you never did lick anything off of me…[whine] but since today is my birthday it would be a great time to make that up to me. I’m gongto be down inthe warehouse district of Austin tonight and all of you are welcme to joine th eparty…wish you could all come along for body shots.

Wyatt if you were there, I would most certainly turn you back into a human but you have to stop that member licking thing,…or at least steralize it with some alcohol…you know once you are human that is physicaly impossible, are you sure you want to give that up?

Rocky, if I ever need a DJ or a film crew next time I am making out with a hot chick, I’ll keep you in mind…maybe you can pour on the massage oil for us…:wink:

Psalex…not only are you hot but you are fun too. You would fit right in with all of my “Girls gone wild crowd” can’t you come to Austin and come out to play tonignt? If not, next time you are in TX you gotta’ look me up.

Well that is all for me for today gang…I am off to lunch with the Studmuffin. I am going to try to keep my clothes on at least until tongiht but you know it has been a while…

1078

I think guys are so enamored with breasts simply because they don’t have any!

And they seem to like them nice and big but don’t understand how cumbersome they can be. If (pre pregnancy) I want to cross my arms in front of me I either mash them into my chest or end up propping them up on my forearms. Neither is an attractive sentiment.

Nowadays I literally could put someone’s eye out with these things… most likely mine! And I haven’t even gotten my milk in and am up 4 cup sizes.

I think one thing that keeps them in the thoughts of our gentleman friends here is that they are generally prominent fixtures on our bodies. One of those ‘oh look a girl’ signs. And after a certain size poor guys seem magnetically attracted and can’t lift their poor eyes all the way to your face anymore.

I had a guy once tell me my breasts were a distraction and a constant reminder that I was female. What he expected me to do I have no freaking clue. Not like I can take them off and leave them on my nightstand (although THAT would be quite handy!)

1079

I’m sorry Tanookie, I know this isn’t gong to make it any better btu I guess I am licky because (just ask dave) I have small boobs. . Although my las ttwo bfs tell me they are perfect. My little C cups don’t give me that much problem unless I am trying to run but I do remember DDs when I was preggers and I didn’t liek 'em much…maybe it’s the size that makes them cumbersome.

1080

Happy Birthday Mipiace!
Size, weight of them, yep… that’s why their cumbersome. And they’re literally a pain in my neck (and back). sigh Oh well. You’re a C cup Mi? I remember being a C… I remember DD too… Bleh. As for the no longer able to make eye contact thing, yeah, I feel that. If I wear anything remotly snug I get evil looks from women and men won’t look at my face.