Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1121

Why, hello, Jaade ,How nice of you to join us- it is a little too late to participate in mipiace 's birthday spanking but we would love for you to join us in the legendary Davebear hot tub. We can play count the freckles on mipiace. May I take your clothing? Ummm… what is that perfume? And how about a drink?

Simple Dreamer , Maureen , and tanookie were over earlier for dinner; you will love them. They are wonderful girls with a lively sense of humor and so sweet; but usually leave early because they have families and such.

Our Wyatt is a very attentive and enthusiastic bartender, and such a cuddle puppy. Make sure and give him a little kiss when he delivers your drink, or better still, a peek up your skirt.

I see you have already met Robot Arm --he does have a marvelous spork, doesn’t he?

KP ,Optihut, and peritrochoid ,
usually join us a little later, and they are kind of shy, but now that the female to male ratio has evened up a bit I suspect we can lure them into the hot tub with a little siren song. Oh boys…

Oh,Davebear , come join us. mipiace 's freckles aren’t going to count themselves…

1122

Ya know, Psalex, the marvelous spork comment is priceless and full of innuendo :slight_smile:

I think I will have to tell hubby he has a marvelous spork at just the right moment! He gives up on these threads after about 3 pages so I’m sure to get some odd reaction as he just won’t get the joke.

I wonder what the infamous Davebear did this weekend and if he got dessert? I thought of him as we drove through Boston this afternoon. (I thought of all the BostonDopers actually as I peoplewatched)

What kind of puppy is Wyatt anyways? Is he some kind of mutt or can we discern a breed here?

Oh and do you people sleep? I understand about time zones and all that but the stuff that creeps up overnight always seems to be half posting and half hallucination :slight_smile:

1123

Well, as long as you don’t mind playing Follow The Bouncing (Eye)Ball…we wouldn’t want you to feel repressed, around here.

I’d be honored. Am I pouring or slurping?

Well, I noticed. There’s been a definite drop in the level of bitterness, around here, without your input. :wink:

Be right there. I just need to grab my diving mask and snorkel.

Well, I hate to disappoint the fans, but no, no dessert this weekend. The only dessert dish on the current menu was off to Maine with her kids. Sherri now knows about Harmony, so she’s off the menu. I did some housework, some shopping, and took some photos with the new digital camera I just bought. It’s pretty cool.

1124

Nothing? I escape the continuing family melodrama only to find out you did NOTHING this weekend? How disappointing. With all the pheromones so rampant 'round here, I would have thought you’d get at least one invitation… Sorry you had such a boring weekend.

1125

Dammit! Missed the party … :frowning:

With Psalex, mipiace, Jaade, Maureen, tanookie, Simple Dreamer, MeanOldLady, and White Ink dropping by on regular intervals to torture and tease us boys, I’d say the Davebear Babes (is that like Barker’s Beauties?) have outnumbered us by now. That’s damn near always a good thing! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

1126

Oh, I hear you! But at least I only had to read just one additional page, I anticipated at least 3 :wink:

Well, as I said, I am still living in Germany. Aachen during the week and Düsseldorf on the weekends. Well, actually I am living in Düsseldorf, but I am in Aachen during the week in order to study.

As for the joking comment about my phone number: Thanks for the nice sentiment, it´s very much appreciated. On a more serious note, I heard that it´s quite expensive to call abroad from the USA (I still remember calling just a different state from a payphone in NYC in 1998… The sheer horror!), whereas the phone companies are having a price war around here since 2001 or so. Currently calling the USA is at 2 cents / minute or something, even cheaper than a local call.
So, if anything, I´d be the one calling people :wink:

Sounds sensible. Good luck on working that out. I for one thought that moving to where you live is something I could have done, so I am giving him two thumbs up for that, heh.

Jaade, nice summary / commentary on Wyatt`s summary. Although you could have added numbers to Wyatt´s post, it would have made cross-referencing (for example #14) that much easier :wink:

As for “that little cutie in the picture”: Argh! That´s the second vote on me being “cute” here - I guess I need some piercings and a tattoo, “cute” just doesn´t sound right :frowning:

Are you kidding? With all those milk cartons with your picture on it, it was hard not to notice :wink:
Besides, if Dave himself doesn´t notice when the Davebear Babes are missing, I´d be seriously disappointed.

Today the woman I am particularly interested in at the moment told me in an e-mail that she cannot make it to my party on friday.
I just wrote her back that this is a pity and that maybe it would work out next time. Since I would hate waiting that long, I suggested to go out for a cup of coffee or meet for lunch or something.

So far I haven´t received an answer on that, but yeah, “shy” is another adjective I need to get rid of. It´s right there, next to “cute” :wink:

1127

Ah, but in my experience being called “cute” isn’t all that bad. It’s the “gee, you look/seem like a nice guy” that you have to worry about. :wink:

I’ve been told (yes, by women) that “shy” is sexy if it’s balanced with confidence. It makes us mysterious. :smiley:

1128

Oh, well, invitations are another story. I got a fabulous invitation, but couldn’t accept, due to logistical reasons. dammit! But, I don’t count those as dessert, and I don’t discuss them, here.

What makes you think she was kidding?

Dude! Take what you can get! Cute is good! Cute is waaay better than “amusing” or “interesting”. Cute will get you cuddled, if you play it right; that’s more than “interesting” will ever get you. And, cuddling has soooo much potential.

Oh, I notice. I don’t comment on it, because they have their own stuff to do, but I notice.

We’ll all keep our fingers crossed for you to have better luck than I did. Oh, and I agree with Rocky, shy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, from what I’ve been told.

1129

[yeah, that same cartoon character joke] ummmmmm … Red Heads … ummmmmmm … [/ running joke into ground]

We Now have another NEW D.Bear term!!!
a #14!!??!?! Yes please!

runs around in happy little puppy circles … mebby THIS babe could be the princess who will award the magic kisses!!! Mebby she din read the bits-licking parts !!!pant pant searching pockets for breath spray DoH! Doggies don’t HAVE Pockets !!! Whaaaaaaaaaaa!

OH, and Jaade, your prize for being the first to pass the thread-exam?? … YOU, darlin’, get a #14!!! And … I’m the first volunteer to … uh … make the award … now, if you could just come down here and give the cute lil puppy a little magic kiss …???..

There ARE some bad parts to bein’ a puppy, but when there’s noone around to offer your own personal “Tootsie Roll Pop” Birthday treatment … It’s handy to be able to … uh … be … self sufficient!

It’s a species-ist degrading … why this is Pit worth … hum? What was that noise? Woof?! Oh, Look, somebody spilled something on this chair!!! …

Nope, you are Definitely NOT alone on that one! “Come on over here, DaveBear Babe let me help raise your BTU’s!”

Talk about rasing MY BTU’s !!! Whew! pant pant Woof! … I believe I’m having a corruption!

Bowing at the feet of his Sensei Ah, D.Bear Your ability to capture such heartwarming scenes, the joy, the tears, the pathos … and bring it forward in richly descriptive poetic words … D.Bear, the reasons for your ardent following are So apparent!!!

Don’t think I’ve ever zactly been known for my good breeding … good ‘breeding skills’ … a "talented #14[sup]er[/sup] as it were … but … well …

1130

Shy? ME? - I don’t know that I’ve ever been accused of that before.

I’ve just been trying to find my ‘voice’ (board persona) after a long absence from the board. My old nick was creeping me out too

I finally made a name change request for a clean break (My nicks/sites were once sniffed out of a work computer back when I was active, and snippets of stuff I posted on websites were spread, out of context, in a behind-my-back smear campaign. Imagine a junior high stolen-lovenote dramafest with paunchy, balding whitecoats in the teen roles, a Mrs. Grundy think-alike on stalking & surveillance [which was somehow cuter when we did it on our Schwinns], and a near lapse into a Pam Smart subplot, which fortunately didn’t involve me)

I was a bit hesitant to post much until it went through Eventually, the lack of response led me to conclude I’d been snubbed, so I decided “whatthehell”. (I later learned that Lynn was still in the hospital when I made the requests)

Besides, I kinda burned out on the whole group thing in my misspent youth (I think I expressed my opinions on the overrated menage a trois earlier in this thread, so you can imagine how I feel about menage a vingt. I much prefer to concentrate on one -er, ‘thing’ wouldn’t be the right word- at a time

But I guess I can see how I might have come off as a bit standoffish. What’s a (non-Dave) guy got to do to recruit around here? Set up a stand?

Maybe I should get some roller-blading carhops, in tight shorts and short skirts. “Hey Hector! Two number 14s, a puppy on a blanket, an egg cream (sheesh, talk about your obscene drink names. I don’t know if I’d accept one of those from a ‘soda jerk’) and a sarsparilla.”

Tacky, yes -immensely!- but it ought to take the edge off the whole “shy” thing.

C’mon, mipiace, you sashay into the joint (and, hoo boy, do you sashay!) with a nick that translates to “Me likey!” and you think no one will notice? I know your type. When they said “Vedi Napoli, e poi mori” [1] you thought they meant la morte piccolo. [2]

[1] Famous Italian saying:“Go to Naples, and then die” (i.e. 'See Naples before you die). Incidentally, this is the basis for Joey Tribbiani’s famous Sicillian curse on Friends: “Va fa Napoli” means “Go to Naples” (i.e. drop dead)

[2] “The little death” about which the less said, the better - if only because words fall short

1131

Wyatt, come here. After an exhausting week-end with my new 120 pound puppy, I have been exposed to more grateful slobber, drool, pre-chewed dog food, and slime than a tennis ball at Westminster. I feel more than qualified and immunized to handle a little doggie kiss, and a prince ye shall be. Actually, I had better go and brush my teeth first.
I cannot promise that you won’t revert to doggie form when the call comes to tend bar, nor can I promise that leg humping and inappropriate licking will be unwelcome. We Davebear Babes are known to get a little freaky when drinking.

Smoooooch……

KP is not shy? But not into the group thing? Understood. So… do you like redheads, former ballerinas, or bouncy girls? We seem to have quite a variety of fiery chicas here- but you have to like mischievous. We all seem to be a little…cheeky.

But perhaps there is more to the Davebear Babes babes than meets the eye… all Davebear Babes including you married and family types, sound off. We know alllll about the OP, time for some girl confessions:

Favorite food and drink:

Music most likely to accompany your commute to work:

Favorite art (be specific) poetry, painting, photography, music, architecture, or fill in the blank:

Pet of choice:

Underwear: matched or jauntily mismatched?

If any Davebear Babe feels comfortable adding a blurb to describe their off-board personality, please feel free.

Optihut, instead of coffee or pseudo-date, try to take girl of choice along on an errand-running trip- to the bookstore, shoe store, pet shop, automobile shopping, etc. You two can grab a lunch while out, and the conversation in the car side-by side is much easier than the forced intimacy of a restaurant table.

peritrochoid, cute, shy, nice guy. Honey, you have got the Wankel of my dreams. If any girl doubts your studliness, just whip out the Wankel. The very idea just gets me torqued…

Davebear? Been playin’ with that new camera? Is it waterproof? :wink: Can we play with it? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

1132

:smiley: LOL! :smiley:

Why, thank you, Psalex!
:: spoken in the studly masculinity that comes with having the biggest Wankel around ::

Oh, it seems you forgot to provide your own answers to the Davebear Babes confessions. Care to elaborate? :wink:

1133

Well written.

Jeeze. This has gotta be a net record for the most replies to a post by a happy/somewhat pissed guy. I can only aspire to such greatness. Honestly. I post in a similar state of mind, often.
:wink:

1134

Welcome back from your arduous ordeal, Grasshopper. And, it’s nice to see you back in human form.

Boy, have you got her number! And, apparently that number is 2.

How does she make this sound so appealing? Have I been hanging out in my own threads too long?

I have! It’s a lot of fun. Not waterproof, but the do make waterproof cases that should work just fine. And, honey, you can play with anything I’ve got. Oh, and the cherry? Can’t I suck it out of your belly button, again?

Thanks! Pull up a barstool. The bartender’s back.

Oh, and a quick update; I invited Sherri over for a cook-out dinner, because she’s had a tough couple of weeks, and I was lonely, and a cook-out for one person just isn’t worth the effort. And, dammit, I haven’t had a cook-out all summer, and here it is, Labor Day. So I had one, despite the rain. So, we had burgers for dinner, and then we had Dessert. Yep. We had some of the cake she brought, for dessert. And, watched some of the US Open. And, then she went home. sigh

1135

~kisses both of MeanOldLady’s cheeks~ Thank you darlin’, I will wear it with pride.

~smiles~ The perfume is Beautiful, and I’d love a drink, doll. Any Midori around here?

~hands over her blouse and pants to Psalex before hopping into the hottub~

Oh, thanks Dave!

Theadstarter’s choice. (But why limit yourself? You could have both, you know)

~winks~ I think I speak for all the ladies when I say we’re happy to oblige.

Thanks doll! I thought about it actually, but I tried to mostly include references or state my answer with the question inside of it to make up for that.

Trust me darlin’, cutie is not a bad term when I use it. It’s synonymous with hottie.

~considers~ Well, I don’t know…I’m not really a dog lover…but I see that Psalex has offered to do the honors for you. Let’s get together so you can give me my prize after that. ~grins~

I’ll go first! (Though I started answering this thread an hour ago and got distracted, so my answers may not be first)

  1. Drinks–Alcoholic: Midori Sour or Grape Nehi
    Soda: Cherry Coke
    Other: Sweet Iced Tea or Mocha
    Food–Fruit: Peaches
    Meal: Chicken Parmigiana, Steak or burgers

  2. Pop or country, I listen to a lot of different music

  3. Favorite poetry: Robert Frost “The Road Less Traveled”
    Favorite music: Country, overall
    Favorite movies: Wizard of Oz, Gone With the Wind, Chicago, Moulin Rouge, Shag, and others…
    Favorite architecture: Tudor, Victorian, and Antebellum styles

  4. Cats or fish

  5. Umm…invisible? Matched if I wear any, to everything I am wearing ~L~

  6. My off-board personality is apparently similar to my onboard personality. My friends describe me as witty, flirty, intelligent and bold.

On preview: Sorry Dave, that you only got dessert and not a #14. You are almost getting as little action as I am these days!

~J

1136

Hurry Hurry, step right up,
for the greatest show on Earth,
The wildest ride in the SMDB, where candy is dandy but lick’er is quicker
Freaks, Forks, sporks, torque, and the occassional Bork
See DaveBear and KP of Men Without Hair sing their hit songs “Pop goes the Girl” and “We can dance if you want to”!
Hey, Dave, as a fellow shavee, shouldn’t you be DaveBare? And wouldn’t Swedish Mafia make a great warm-up band? Oh wait. The warm up band plays for the audience, doesn’t it? What do they need warming up for? Who’s gonna warm us up, then?
See Wyatt the pup-boy, the hot dog, the foot-long wiener!
Be exposed to more slobber than a tennis ball at Westchester!
Seh Optihut, mit dem (hubschem) Lachen und Sprachen from Aachen
(Yeah, like I’d even try to rhyme Duesseldorf)
to the tune of “Side Show” [(http://haapy:newyear@djspinnercee.servemp3.com:20415/mp3.1/Blue%20Magic%20-%20Sideshow.mp3)] by Blue Magic

BARKER:
“Hurry, hurry, step right up
See the hottest show in town for over twenty pages”
*
Step right up, hurry hurry, before the thread’s too long, my friends
Strip your shorts, Try the hot tub, I know you will belong
It’ll only cost your sanity to see
What flirting does to folks like you and me

See the Bear with the broken heart, you’ll see that he is sad,
Got treated bad (So badly, so bad)
See the gal who passed up the finest love she could’ve had
But DaveBear’s Babes, they are the perfect remedy
No doubt about it, satisfaction’s guaranteed

So let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you sigh

Let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Work yourself into a state
No dessert if you are late

See the students study hard under Dave-sensei,
his mystic ways (his mystic ways)
See your toes- Tanookie can’t 'cause her bellies in the way
We’ve better breasts here than Purdue’s own farm
And breast-grav goggles to protect your eyes from harm

Oh let the eyeflicks begin!
Hurry, hurry, Wild feasel sin!
A tummy’s quite a sexy thing
Wyatt’s cool and everything

Uh Oh, The DaveBear’s gone out
(Hurry, hurry, need details NOW)
Don’t worry whether it is wise
Mustn’t overanalyze!

Let the aardvarks patrol (They play a role)
Hurry, hurry, typo control
Try the ‘Spit or swallow’ thread
It’ll go straight to your [-um-] head.

Oh yes, the sideshow’s begun
Hurry, hurry, you’ll miss the fun
Give our body shots a try
I guarantee that we’re not shy

Yes, the sideshow’s not done … It’s just begun*

1137

:: Standing Ovation ::

Bravo! Splendid! ASTOUNDING!

Very slick, KP, very slick! :cool:

Had some free time today, eh? :wink:

1138

I will eat anything and everything but meat; including what is on your plate if you aren’t guarding it very carefully. Fresh figs are my absolute favorite food, although I have to beg the local grocer to order them for me here. Oh, and I love to suck the pimentos out of olives. Exception to the meat rule: I will try anything on a dare.

(Okay, I just re-read the above, and cannot edit or rephrase because all is true. Please don’t Freud me)

Ideally, a perfect margarita. Second: Killian’s.

To work: Tool, Pearl Jam, Stones, Led Zeppelin, Soul Coughing, Sammy Hagar, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Chili Peppers; mostly alternative, aggressive, and loud. On the way home: NPR, old blues, Dave Matthews, Joan Osborne, chamber music. (R & B in the kitchen, I dance while I cook)
pssst… Jaade- I love Johnny Cash and Lucinda Williams- get to see both live often because I live 12 miles from the Carter Fold)

Movies: Current favorite is Beat the Devil on the BMW films website. The best 15 minutes of recorded material I have ever experienced.

Big, stupid dogs. (Also have cats, fish, and ducks. Yes, ducks.)

Architecture: Gehry. Minimalist./modern décor. Art/sculpture: Andy Goldsworthy.

Matched, except on Mondays. I rebel on Mondays.

Workweek appearance: buttoned down, uptight cool professional. Outside of work: exactly what you read here, though without the raunchy mouth. You won’t hear a curse word leave my lips, and I blush far too easily to flirt as openly as I do in Davebear’s house. . According to my friends a few drinks will turn the vixen loose; though I always deny that on Mondays.

1139

You get to see Johnny Cash live!?! :eek:

Waaaay cool!

1140

Very cool doll!! ~sings the Ring of Fire loudly~

I once saw Kenny Rogers in person, here in Houston in a concert, if that counts. ~grins~

~J