Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!)

[Syntropy]

*Originally posted by Salem *
**And then Wyatt would be in the Boston area where he could really study under Dave. **

Oh, the rejoinders literally just FIGHT to get said…

[Rob_V]

HEY! Only 101 posts to go break 2000 ! You GO people!

[Davebear]

*Originally posted by if6was9 *
**It doesn’t matter to me if it’s butter cream, or chocolate, or peanut butter, or whatever, it’s the “cake” under the frosting that interests me! :eek: **

Always in such a rush, you acolytes. Have I not taught you to enjoy the journey, and stop worrying so much about the destination, yet? Think about how our delectable little Jaade will feel when she has half a dozen warm, wet tongues licking all that frosting off her. All those soft lips gliding over her smooth, sticky skin, bathing her lovingly, sucking the gooey sweetness off her, till our tongues caress away the last traces of sugar. Finding all her erogenous zones, including the ones she may never have known she had; the arch of her foot, between her toes, the insides of her ankles and backs of her knees, the sweet hollow just above the swell of her butt, the insides of her elbows and the pulse points in her wrists, her belly button and that sweet spot just below it, possibly even the curves of her shoulder blades. One never knows, until one tries, but I suspect our Jaade is a highly sensual lady. And, by the time we’ve licked her clean, she’ll either be nearly catatonic or we’ll have to scrape her off the ceiling.

*Originally posted by Jaade *
**And no votes to actually let me have a piece of cake. **

One of the many nice things about that kind of cake; you can have your cake and eat one, too.

*Originally posted by Jaade *
**Oh no! I hope that’s not why she hasn’t been around. ~frowns~ **

Well, she said she wouldn’t be around, much, once she went back to work and school, but I suspect I’m also partly to blame.

*Originally posted by Jaade *
**~sticks her tongue out at him~ **

Yep, that’s cute, too. But, don’t stick it out unless you’re going to use it.

*Originally posted by Jaade *
Bah, put your money where your mouth is.

I’ll put it anywhere you want, sugar.

Originally posted by Jaade *
** ~L~ Don’t be so sure…I’m a stubborn lady.*

That’s okay. I’ve heard that one, before.

*Originally posted by mipiace *
**What makes you an expert on shifting my gears? **

Aw, honey. You know I can redline your engine in a heartbeat. But, we have the same driving style; we prefer a cross country rally to a drag race, any day.

*Originally posted by tanookie *
Oh andWyatt if you can mow a lawn and are good with kids… I have a puffy doggy bed with lots of blankets and I promise to feed ya better than plain white rice!

Hey! No pirating my acolytes! Besides, he’s not going anywhere until that latrine is spotless.

*Originally posted by Salem *
Hmmm, the best offer I’ve had in a looooong time. I think I need more offers like that.

Hmmm…so, does that mean you’re open to more such offers? I’ve got a couple that are least hard, if not impossible, to refuse.

*Originally posted by Salem *
**And then Wyatt would be in the Boston area where he could really study under Dave. **

Umm…I assume you mean “at my feet”, not literally under me. Cuz…that just ain’t happening.

*Originally posted by Maureen *
**Dave!! What did I tell you about smacking Wyatt around??!! **

I dunno. I wasn’t listening.

*Originally posted by Maureen *
Bloody hell! 38 pages of loyal service and this is how you treat him just because of one minor lapse, probably brought on by NyQuil and lack of sleep? I thought you had more compassion than that. I take one day off to feel better, and this is what you do? :sigh:…

Feel better, now Mama?

*Originally posted by Maureen *
**I won’t discuss it with you in front of the children anymore, but you owe me some serious kissing up, buddy boy. **

'Kay. Another batch of frosting, coming right up. Well…maybe after you get over the flu.

*Originally posted by Maureen *
Wyatt’s been punished enough, yes? I really need him to rub my forehead and get me some soda, dear one, Mama Mo is not in good shape today.

Not until he’s finished the task I assigned him. But, then he can come and be your slave for the day. That’s probably a worse punishment, anyway, cranky as you are when you’re sick.

*Originally posted by Maureen *
**Oh, the rejoinders literally just FIGHT to get said… **

*Originally posted by Rob V *
**HEY! Only 101 posts to go break 2000 ! You GO people! **

Thanks, dude. Stick around. The Why2K? party should be something to see.

[Syntropy]

*Originally posted by Davebear *
**Not until he’s finished the task I assigned him. But, then he can come and be your slave for the day. That’s probably a worse punishment, anyway, cranky as you are when you’re sick… **

Well, maybe if certain people were nicer, they’d get better responses. Behave, dear one, huh? You know you’re my favorite. You don’t need to kick puppies to get my attention. Now I’m going back to bed. But you can come rub my shoulders for me, if you like. There’s one spot I can’t quite reach.

[if6was9]

*Originally posted by Davebear *
Always in such a rush, you acolytes. Have I not taught you to enjoy the journey, and stop worrying so much about the destination, yet? Think about how our delectable little Jaade will feel when she has half a dozen warm, wet tongues licking all that frosting off her. All those soft lips gliding over her smooth, sticky skin, bathing her lovingly, sucking the gooey sweetness off her, till our tongues caress away the last traces of sugar. Finding all her erogenous zones, including the ones she may never have known she had; the arch of her foot, between her toes, the insides of her ankles and backs of her knees, the sweet hollow just above the swell of her butt, the insides of her elbows and the pulse points in her wrists, her belly button and that sweet spot just below it, possibly even the curves of her shoulder blades. One never knows, until one tries, but I suspect our Jaade is a highly sensual lady. And, by the time we’ve licked her clean, she’ll either be nearly catatonic or we’ll have to scrape her off the ceiling.

Once again, I bow at the feet of the MASTER! :eek:

[Jaade]

*Originally posted by Maureen *
**Dammit, the best offer I’ve had in almost a week, and I have to go catch some stupid flippin virus. Raincheck, rocky? I/m thinking I’m not doing anything but resting today, and forcing fluids. Now, if only I had Wyatt around to fetch and carry and rub my forehead for me…oh, yes. That reminds me.

**

~pouts~ Darn it…

Rob V

HEY! Only 101 posts to go break 2000 ! You GO people!

Hey! Stay a while and join the party…but you need to take Wyatt’ quiz back on page 24 or so…kick back, you have a lot of reading to do, but it’s well worth it. Once you have been approved to join the OMFG Club, the Davebear BabesTM will be happy to shower you with the attention we give all the men in this thread.

Davebear

Always in such a rush, you acolytes. Have I not taught you to enjoy the journey, and stop worrying so much about the destination, yet? Think about how our delectable little Jaade will feel when she has half a dozen warm, wet tongues licking all that frosting off her. All those soft lips gliding over her smooth, sticky skin, bathing her lovingly, sucking the gooey sweetness off her, till our tongues caress away the last traces of sugar. Finding all her erogenous zones, including the ones she may never have known she had; the arch of her foot, between her toes, the insides of her ankles and backs of her knees, the sweet hollow just above the swell of her butt, the insides of her elbows and the pulse points in her wrists, her belly button and that sweet spot just below it, possibly even the curves of her shoulder blades. One never knows, until one tries, but I suspect our Jaade is a highly sensual lady. And, by the time we’ve licked her clean, she’ll either be nearly catatonic or we’ll have to scrape her off the ceiling.

~starts adding up the days til her birthday~

One of the many nice things about that kind of cake; you can have your cake and eat one, too.

K, that works!

Well, she said she wouldn’t be around, much, once she went back to work and school, but I suspect I’m also partly to blame.

~grumbles~ Darn work and school…why do such things always have to get in the way?

Yep, that’s cute, too. But, don’t stick it out unless you’re going to use it.

~raises an eyebrow~ Whatcha gonna do about it?

I’ll put it anywhere you want, sugar.

Your money or your mouth?

Cuz I have a list…

That’s okay. I’ve heard that one, before.

The women in my family have a patent on stubbornness…it’s really quite exasperating.

Wyatt

Yeah, Sure! Just like queried … but … well … you know, … spelled different …

~laughs~

~J

[Simple_Dreamer]

Wow… Dave… wow…

[CasperQ]

Are you referring to this test on page 22? He (she?) forgot one extremely pertinent question: How many times have SPORKS been mentioned in this thread…

My first visit back to the SDMB in many, many moons - and I’m hung up on the hot tub scene… Need to find my own rock

Did I see DaveBear simper?!!?

*Originally posted by Psalex *
**Come one, come all there is a show here the likes of which have never been seen before outside of a Russ Meyer movie. This is an epic of Caligulan proportions, and not for the weak of heart or faint of metaphor. Stay tuned for a preview of Friday’s debauchery…

Will ** peritrochoid ** the dj give Psalex a wankle? (And will he believe that she is interested in his mind or the RX8?)

Will** tanookie ** give birth or will the child just stroll out? (And where are her feet?)

Will Simple Dreamer get a doggy backrub? (And will she return to the chiropractor or will Wyatt give her an adjustment?)

Will Wyatt get a kiss or another thorough bath? (And will he get a complimentary rim shot (ta da da) after every wisecrack?)

Will Maureen use drastic measures to revive Davebear when mipiace and Psalex show up unannounced at his house for an impromptu hot tub party? (Or will she sit in the living room watching movies, oblivious to the rodeo-like action in the next room?)

Will Robot Arm find glory in his prize spork? (Or will he discover out a previously unheard of use for spork… one that won’t leave tell-tale marks?)

Will White Ink return from burning man with enough toasted marshmallows for the whole cast? (And will White Ink remember to don clothing upon exiting the desert?)

Will mipiace discover Optihut’s accent and replace Studmuffin? (Or will she shun all men with accents and run away with Psalex to both the excitement and disappointment of all the single men in the thread?)

Will Davebear become so entangled in this web of femine wiles and wanton flirting that he will abondon the search for the perfect Match and settle for two randy hot-tub lovin’ uber babes who will soap each other solely for his entertainment? (And will the lusty wenches emerge cleaner or dirtier from the mutual lavation?)

And what of the voyeurs in the audience? Will they continue to lurk and crash the party from time to time to express amazement at Davebear’s longevity and Super Innuendo Powers? (And which lurker will craft Davebear a cape o’panties befitting his stature as Operator Extraordinare?) (And will he sign the breasts of his female fans?)

And what of KP ?Will he bring food? (Or will he yet reveal another sort of appetite? Hmmmm…?)

And TigoleBitties? Of what origin is this name? (Or is it a pun so Freudian that ** TigoleBitties ** is guaranteed an honorary lifetime membership in the Oh My Freaking God thread?)

Stay tuned, folks- As the Libido Turns continues tomorrow…same Swingin’ time, same Swingin’ place **

[CasperQ]

*Originally posted by Davebear *
**Always in such a rush, you acolytes. Have I not taught you to enjoy the journey, and stop worrying so much about the destination, yet? Think about how our delectable little Jaade will feel when she has half a dozen warm, wet tongues licking all that frosting off her. All those soft lips gliding over her smooth, sticky skin, bathing her lovingly, sucking the gooey sweetness off her, till our tongues caress away the last traces of sugar. Finding all her erogenous zones, including the ones she may never have known she had; the arch of her foot, between her toes, the insides of her ankles and backs of her knees, the sweet hollow just above the swell of her butt, the insides of her elbows and the pulse points in her wrists, her belly button and that sweet spot just below it, possibly even the curves of her shoulder blades. One never knows, until one tries…

catatonic AND on the ceiling just from reading…

[Jaade]

Hi CasperQ! No, I’m afraid that’s not the test in question…

And good catch on the sporks! (BTW, no fair copying answers from my test. Wyatt should probably add a few extra questions to cover the last several pages…

That was the soap opera recap…

Wyatt

[announcer voice]
For those of you just joining this thread, the following terms and derevations (and some deviations) will be on your entrance exam:
OMFG
“Pick up line” - lie or social grace?
Theresa
Righteous Brothers Concert - great warm up for “pick up lines”?
Blues Harp
“New Best Friend Mark”
How many times is smoking mentioned in the thread?
Mississippi Saxophone
Flower etiquite
The Dreaded Gauntlet of HumiliationTM
Sherri
AFter the pick-up calling etiquite
big galumphing men … appealing?
getting laid
Men’s shoes
D.Bear’s shoes
Stalking
Typos
Name the aardvark
Can she tell if you think she looks hot or should you tell her over and over?
Things that are “coming on too strong” on a first date…
Watertown Pizza
Casual Sex
How Tanookie lost her feet
How Peritrochoid became Rocky
and How Wyatt became: Grasshopper, cool and everything … but, Odd, Oddly weird, certified weird, insane, and now, a dog!
Oh… and Just How Many intelligent, attractive, and witty women have been declaired “babes” in this thread.
[/end announcer voice]

This is the test. ~grins~ Good luck!

[Syntropy]

Bonus Question:
How many of the aforementioned “babes” in this thread are red heads?

[Simple_Dreamer]

Ooo, Good one Maureen. Welcome, CasperQ.

[if6was9]

*Originally posted by Jaade *
~pouts~

Oh baby! You are so sexy when you pout!

*Originally posted by Jaade *
… you have a lot of reading to do, but it’s well worth it.

WELL worth it!

[if6was9]

originally posted by Wyatt MANY moons ago…

Oh… and Just How Many intelligent, attractive, and witty women have been declared “babes” in this thread.

ALL of them!

[if6was9]

I guess as a worthy acolyte I should have put those two posts together… premature postulation? I’m not even worthy of a rice mat…

:lies down in corner on cold, hard cement…:

[Wyatt]

*scrub scrub scrub scrub sigh scrub scrub scrub scrub sigh scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub pant pant scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub pant scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub … pant pant … won’t ever be able to use this toothbrush again … *

… offers Jaade a piece …

Originally posted by TaNookie
Oh and Wyatt if you can mow a lawn and are good with kids… I have a puffy doggy bed with lots of blankets and I promise to feed ya better than plain white rice!

[dobby] B l a n k e t s and Puffy Bed??? The mistress offers Puffy Bed?!?!?[/dobby]

Originally thought out loud by Salem
Hmmm, the best offer I’ve had in a looooong time. I think I need more offers like that.

Sends her a LOT of offers like that … and a bit beyond that … psychically …

originally double or triple entendre’d by Salem
And then Wyatt would be in the Boston area where he could really study under Dave.

I think you made everyone wince with That one!

Originally sighed by Maureen
Raincheck, rocky?

Raincheck Rocky new nickname!!!

originally hollered by Maureen
Dave!! What did I tell you about smacking Wyatt around??!!

*looks up from scrubbing the floor, looking Reeeeeeally pathetic and Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally repentant and reeeeeeeeeally sad and reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally like a grasshopper that should get to have his tatami back … scrub … scrub … scrub … scrub … scrub … to be helpful, holds out D.Bear’s toothbrush to him … *Brush after lunch, sir???

originally said with a finger shake by Maureen
you owe me some serious kissing up, buddy boy.

Yeah … what she said … wait … how come I’m doing the scrubbing and SHE gets the kissing up???

originally typed brilliantly by D.Bear
… till our tongues caress away the last traces of sugar …

whew!!! bows deeply in front of his sensei We are not worthy … we are not worthy … we are not worthy … *…oH… missed a spot … sigh scrub scrub scrub … *

Originally posted by D.Bear
Hey! No pirating my acolytes!

Arrrrrrrr, yer a scurvy day off tha beam, matey, annual ‘talk like a pirate’ day was Yesterday!

Originally posted by D.Bear
But, then he can come and be your slave for the day.

s s s s s slave… … for a … d d d d d d d d day???
looks Reeeeeally pathetic … scrub pathetic look scrub pathetic look scrub…

originally instructed by Jaade
the Davebear BabesTM will be happy to shower you …

[dobby] a shower??? … the mistress offers me a shower???
Dare I to hope???[/dobby] *scrub … scrub … scrub … scrub *

originally sighed by CasperQ
catatonic AND on the ceiling just from reading…

Don’t we Just Love responsive readers??!?!?!!?

[Wyatt]

11 quotes!!!
I take my own breath away!!!

[Wyatt]

*Originally posted by if6was9 *
**I guess as a worthy acolyte I should have put those two posts together… premature postulation? I’m not even worthy of a rice mat…

:lies down in corner on cold, hard cement…: **

YOU get cement?!?!?!?
looks accusingly at the Sensei
Playing Favorites???

[Syntropy]

'Sokay, Wyatt. I won’t force you to do anything more unpleasant than occasionally fetching me some cherry pepsi. Now. Tell me. How are you at foot rubs?

[Wyatt]

Not saying who says this about themselves …

“Mom, daughter, sister, friend, and general chaotician”

but a general chaotician??? … Looks like this girl is gonna fit right in!!!